RE 255: Does Addiction Serve a Purpose?

by Paul Churchill | Jan 6, 2020 | Podcast

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Kerri took her last drink on November 6, 2018.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

Happy New Year!  On January 1^st the 4^th Café RE group, UP, opened.

2020’ Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind, will take place June 11-13 in Denver, CO.  Registration opens on January 8^th, you can find more information about our events here.

On today’s episode Paul talks about meeting the man he would stay with while in Mexico, hearing his story, and discovering they had a connection through the TEDx Talk that Paul gave.  You can find the TEDx Talk, I’ve been duped by alcohol, here.

Paul also discusses a video he recently watched, an interview by Dr. Gabor Mate, (author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts).  Dr. Mate says if you want to look at what causes the addiction you have to look at the benefit of addiction.  That the greatest myth on addiction is that its genetic, the other myth around addiction is that it is a choice that people make.  You can watch the Dr. Gabor Mate video here.

[10:14] Paul introduces Kerri.  (**Doing the shownotes for my own interview is awkward! **) 

Kerri just turned 50, is married, and lives in Redding, CA.  She has two adult daughters, that both have families, and is a grandmother to 4.  For work Kerri recently fell into a new career, as a baker, and does stuff for RE.  For fun Kerri loves to be outdoors, hiking, taking her 3 rescue dogs out, travel, and kayaking.

[15:51] Give us a background on your drinking.

Kerri started drinking in high school and was a black out drinker from the start.  A family move before 9^th grade made Kerri very angry.  Alcohol helped her fit into a new school and she quickly became known as a partier.

Kerri got married at 19, had her daughters right away.  She says that her and her ex-husband were problem drinkers throughout their entire 17-year marriage.  Kerri’s drinking really ramped up after her divorce.

[17:00] How old were you when you realized you had a problem with alcohol? 

Kerri says that in high school she knew she didn’t drink like her friends, but that she didn’t care.  Alcohol got her out of her shell.

[18:00] What happened after your divorce?

Kerri says her drinking ramped up and it got bad, really quick.  It was a big life change for Kerri, with the divorce, having to go out and find a job, and her daughters basically being out of the house.  She was drinking at home alone, blacking out every time.

[23:35] How come you didn’t feel ready to do this interview?    

Kerri said she didn’t feel like she had anything worth sharing.  She said that has felt that way all her life.

[26:23] Did you have a rock bottom moment?

Kerri said yes.  After getting her teaching credential later in life, which Kerri says was a dream job, she was fired from two teaching jobs as the result of her drinking.  Kerri surrendered her teaching credential.

[31:00] Talk to us about how you did it the first weeks, first month.

Kerri said it was really hard, that she didn’t know what anyone (co-workers, parents) was told or what they knew.  Kerri was afraid to leave her house for fear of running into someone, she would grocery shop at 2:00 AM.  She said she was filled with so much anxiety that she didn’t know how she was going to come out of it the 2^nd time around.  She went to a therapist for the first time.  She sought out and entered into a 90-day IOP program.

[35:17] You’ve burned the ships on social media, what kind of response have you received?

Kerri said she has received nothing but support and encouragement, and she encourages everyone to do it.

[37:50] Talk to us about the breakthrough you had at the Bozeman retreat. 

Kerri said she got much from the entire retreat but it was the Clarity Breathwork that really did it for her.  She said once she was able to stop paying attention to what was going on around her and just do her thing, she was able to experience something powerful that changed her.

[44:38] Rapid Fire Round

1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

That I don’t have to live up to, what I think are, other people’s expectations.

2. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

All these RE retreats, that is something I never would have imagined doing…taking off and meeting strangers.

3. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

I’m kind of boring, I really don’t do the mocktail thing, I’m a water drinker.

4. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

Definitely Café RE, these sober meetups, retreats and I listen to a lot of podcasts.

5. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

Travel, travel, and more travel.  I want to do a marathon.

6. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

To recover, get sober, whatever you want to call it, your way.  Your way may be different than someone else’s, and to not worry about what other people think.

You might need to ditch the booze if…

You wake up one morning with a broken ankle and you have no idea how you did it.

Upcoming Events and Retreats.

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind – in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach – October 8 – 18th, 2020

You can find more information about our events here.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

SkillShare

Get two months free of classes with Skillshare at www.skillshare.com/ELEVATOR

BetterHelp 

Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.

Skillshare

For two free months of premium membership visit www.skillshare.com/elevator

Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

RE 499: Get Your Roll On

by Kris Oyen | Sep 9, 2024 | Podcast

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Episode 499 – Get Your Roll On

Today we have Kerri. She is 55 years old, lives in Redding, CA and took her last drink on March 2^nd, 2022.

Sponsors mentioned in this episode:

Better Help  – code ELEVATOR

Soberlink – receive $50 off of a device

Better Rhodes – code RECOVERYELEVATOR15

RiseUp Coffee

Athletic Brewing

Sarilla

[02:47] Thoughts from Paul:

Prior to AA, alcoholism was considered a fatal disease. In less than 100 years, so much progress has been made in how alcoholism is viewed and treated. Now there is 100% a way out.

We now know the most potent antidote to addiction is connection. And this looks like community, preferably one that contains a lot of laughter, which we have all heard is the best medicine.

Paul shares with us that when he was crafting the recent Bozeman Retreat’s itinerary, he spent a lot of time thinking about one of the activities he was considering: a Skee-Ball tournament. The retreat is already full of the standard heavy hitters of share groups, breathwork, etc. but he wanted to try something different. Check out the pictures of the event in the post today: RE on Instagram

So, 100 years ago, it was shock therapy and isolation to cure alcoholism. Today it’s Skee-Ball, laughter, and connection.

[10:34] Kris introduces KMac:

Kerri is 55 years old and lives in Redding, CA. She has two adult daughters and five grandchildren. She is married and they have two dogs. For fun, Kerri has recently gotten into ultrarunning. She works full time for RE/Café RE as the community manager and event coordinator.

Kerri says she started drinking in high school and was a blackout drinker from the beginning. She and her first husband drank a lot during their marriage, and it escalated for Kerri after their divorce.

Kerri became a teacher later in life, but her drinking caused her to lose multiple teaching jobs over the course of a few years. She was involved with her local AA group and had a sponsor during this time. She ended up joining Café RE and rather quickly, volunteered to help do the show notes for the podcast. Over time her involvement with RE evolved.

Kerri had over a year alcohol free before the binge drinking returned. She had stopped counting days and recognized that it made it easier for her to drink. Currently days are very important to Kerri.

As Kerri began working more for RE, she feels that it took away the community for her. She didn’t feel comfortable sharing her struggles within the groups because of her role.

Knowing that she couldn’t recover alone, Kerri began to open up and have tough conversations with the RE team. She was at the point where she was feeling like she was never going to be able to quit and found herself, with the encouragement of others, making the decision to go to inpatient rehab.

Kerri says that being The Hab was tough at first and a lot of the people there were younger than her. After finding a good counselor and therapist, she was able to finally start opening up and sharing. At the end of 60 days, it was recommended she continue, so she stayed an additional 30.

After leaving she continued to do what she was doing while she was in rehab, which helps. She used to question why she drank like she did, but over time has decided it doesn’t matter.

Kerri says the biggest thing she has learned about herself is the importance of truly believing she is worthy. She is now able to recognize when she has feelings and being able to share them. She is more likely to ask for help when she needs it.

To the listener that is experiencing their own version of pacing around the living room not wanting to drink, Kerri wants to remind them that it’s not too late, this doesn’t have to be who you are or the road that you go down, you are worth asking for help and there is a community out there that are willing to walk that path with you.

Kerri’s first episode: RE Episode 255

Recovery Elevator

You’re the only one that can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone.

Love you guys.

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