by Kris Oyen | Sep 9, 2024 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 499 – Get Your Roll On
Today we have Kerri. She is 55 years old, lives in Redding, CA and took her last drink on March 2nd, 2022.
Sponsors mentioned in this episode:
Better Help – code ELEVATOR
Soberlink – receive $50 off of a device
Better Rhodes – code RECOVERYELEVATOR15
RiseUp Coffee
Athletic Brewing
Sarilla
[02:47] Thoughts from Paul:
Prior to AA, alcoholism was considered a fatal disease. In less than 100 years, so much progress has been made in how alcoholism is viewed and treated. Now there is 100% a way out.
We now know the most potent antidote to addiction is connection. And this looks like community, preferably one that contains a lot of laughter, which we have all heard is the best medicine.
Paul shares with us that when he was crafting the recent Bozeman Retreat’s itinerary, he spent a lot of time thinking about one of the activities he was considering: a Skee-Ball tournament. The retreat is already full of the standard heavy hitters of share groups, breathwork, etc. but he wanted to try something different. Check out the pictures of the event in the post today: RE on Instagram
So, 100 years ago, it was shock therapy and isolation to cure alcoholism. Today it’s Skee-Ball, laughter, and connection.
[10:34] Kris introduces KMac:
Kerri is 55 years old and lives in Redding, CA. She has two adult daughters and five grandchildren. She is married and they have two dogs. For fun, Kerri has recently gotten into ultrarunning. She works full time for RE/Café RE as the community manager and event coordinator.
Kerri says she started drinking in high school and was a blackout drinker from the beginning. She and her first husband drank a lot during their marriage, and it escalated for Kerri after their divorce.
Kerri became a teacher later in life, but her drinking caused her to lose multiple teaching jobs over the course of a few years. She was involved with her local AA group and had a sponsor during this time. She ended up joining Café RE and rather quickly, volunteered to help do the show notes for the podcast. Over time her involvement with RE evolved.
Kerri had over a year alcohol free before the binge drinking returned. She had stopped counting days and recognized that it made it easier for her to drink. Currently days are very important to Kerri.
As Kerri began working more for RE, she feels that it took away the community for her. She didn’t feel comfortable sharing her struggles within the groups because of her role.
Knowing that she couldn’t recover alone, Kerri began to open up and have tough conversations with the RE team. She was at the point where she was feeling like she was never going to be able to quit and found herself, with the encouragement of others, making the decision to go to inpatient rehab.
Kerri says that being The Hab was tough at first and a lot of the people there were younger than her. After finding a good counselor and therapist, she was able to finally start opening up and sharing. At the end of 60 days, it was recommended she continue, so she stayed an additional 30.
After leaving she continued to do what she was doing while she was in rehab, which helps. She used to question why she drank like she did, but over time has decided it doesn’t matter.
Kerri says the biggest thing she has learned about herself is the importance of truly believing she is worthy. She is now able to recognize when she has feelings and being able to share them. She is more likely to ask for help when she needs it.
To the listener that is experiencing their own version of pacing around the living room not wanting to drink, Kerri wants to remind them that it’s not too late, this doesn’t have to be who you are or the road that you go down, you are worth asking for help and there is a community out there that are willing to walk that path with you.
Kerri’s first episode: RE Episode 255
Recovery Elevator
You’re the only one that can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone.
Love you guys.
Recovery Elevator YouTube
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
by Paul Churchill | Aug 29, 2024
October 4th – 15th 2025 Cusco – Sacred Valley – Inca Trail – Machu Picchu Get your Alcohol-Free Travel on for 11 nights/12 days Registration is CLOSED Registration Closes Tuesday, June 3, 2025 Join Recovery Elevator in Cusco, Peru for...
by Paul Churchill | Apr 22, 2024
Recovery Elevator in Vietnam January 9th – 20th (12 days/11 nights) Registration opens Monday, July 1st, 2024 Learn More Travel the world… without alcohol On Recovery Elevator alcohol-free travel trips we aren’t wasting time nursing hangovers in the...
by Kris Oyen | Nov 30, 2020 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Jamie took her last drink April 16, 2019. With 485 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You
She is currently re-reading The Compound Effect. The general idea is that baby steps add up into large rewards. Change is hard. Gaining momentum on a decision is hard. This applies to our alcohol-free journey: turning down drinks, one at a time. Once we reframe the idea of this being a sacrifice and think of it as an opportunity instead, the trajectory changes. We must think of all the things we can add into our lives without alcohol. Odette makes a list of the things she has room for in her life now. Why don’t you make one too?
[7:00] Odette introduces Jamie
Jamie is 35 years old and lives on Long Island, NY. Her immediate family lives close and she lives with her 2 black cats. Jamie is a social worker. For fun she likes to run, go kayaking, reading, cooking and hanging out with friends. Being in nature is the best, it’s where she finds her higher power.
[9:57] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Jamie said she started drinking at the end of high school. In college her drinking seemed normal. She found there were hills and valleys with her drinking. When Jamie lost her mother at the age of 22 she remembers she was in a club in Greece and she identifies the synergy with that happening. The last 3-4 years her drinking escalated. She was blacking out and making poor choices. Looking back she can see the pattern of co-dependency.
[12:57] Did you notice after your mother passed that you used alcohol to deal with your grief?
Jamie said at first, she was so busy taking care of her father and making sure he was ok that alcohol was a secondary thought. But once she had some time away and time with her own feelings, she could see she was using alcohol the same as her mother, to numb down any emotions.
[18:05] Tell me about the first couple weeks of your journey?
Jamie said this was really the first time she honestly tried to get stop drinking. She had been living on the river of denial before this. Growing up her family didn’t express feelings, they drank or got angry. So, the first few weeks were new. She started a 12-step program and therapy. Jamie only knew 2 sober people at the time and she spoke to them a lot.
[23:49] What did you do initially when you had a craving?
Jamie said she didn’t really have a craving for the drink, but it was an emotional craving instead. She used a new found self-awareness to explore the feelings. She would pause and ask herself some questions about why she was feeling that way.
[28:18] After making the decision to not drinking, did you talk to your friends and family about it?
Jamie said she told people very quickly. She said the safe sentence “I’m not drinking right now”. After about a month, she started to see how this could be a lifestyle for her. 5-6 months in she began to share very openly on social media.
[30:48] What’s been the hardest part of this journey for you?
Jamie said feeling her feelings and not fighting them. Allowing the feelings to just be there.
[34:27] What’s your morning routine?
Wakes up at 6am, feeds cats, reads and then moves her body. For the last 81 days (at the time of recording) Jamie has been running every morning. New Fashioned Sobriety and their Zero Proof Run Club hosted and a streaker challenge that she completed. Initially it was 41 days, which she completed. And now her pledge to herself is to move her body daily. She also makes sure to meditate daily.
[37:01] Did you used to have a witching hour?
Jamie said right after work, 5-7pm when before she would be at happy hour and now she fills the time with new routines. A fun mocktail, some tea, go for a walk, walk with a friend.
[40:13] Rapid Fire Round
- What are you excited about right now?
Have her first sober healthy relationship.
- What books are you reading right now?
Good Morning, Destroyer of Men’s Souls: A Memoir of Women, Addiction, and Love
- What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had in this journey?
I can do almost anything sober that I did drunk.
- If you could talk to day 1 Jamie, what would you say?
Jamie you are a warrior, you are a force you have no idea what this is going to bring you. You can be a light for other people.
- What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Anything with chocolate or peanut butter in it and even together!
- What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?
Café RE, Podcasts- Recovery Elevator, Recovery Happy Hour, Seltzer Squad, yoga, walking, running, kayaking and This Naked Mind and Sober Curious.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give people thinking about ditching the booze?
You are a brave, gentle soul and I applaud you. I wish you so much fun on your journey. It’s about taking that pain and making it fun. Tell somebody.
You may have to say adios to booze…
You drank so much while living in your parents basement and you couldn’t make it upstairs to the bathroom, so you throw up in the washing machine.
Odette’s weekly challenge:
Think about your AF journey. How much have you been trying to hold onto things you think this journey will take from you? Is that realistic? Make a shift, start thinking about what you want to set out of this. About what you want to add to your life? Open your eyes, beauty is all around us. Choose you, stay sober, you’re also subscribing to abundance.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
- You can find more information about our events here.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – The birds are singing and when we are sober, we can actually hear them – I love you guys.”
by Kerri MacFarlane | Oct 16, 2020 | Blog, Early Sobriety, Helpful Tips, The first Year
In the year 1519, Hernán Cortés, a Spanish conquistador, arrived in the New World with six hundred men and, upon arrival, ordered his men to, ‘burn the ships’. ?⛵️ His logic behind this wasn’t to go down in the history books as the conquistador loco that ordered his men to destroy his ships. Nope. It was to send a message to his men, a loud and clear message…
…there is no turning back…his men would have to conquer, or die.
Two years later, in 1521, Hernán Cortés conquered the Aztec empire. HIs ‘burn the ships’ strategy worked! Although, guys! His men didn’t even really burn the ships, they sunk them! ?? And that fun fact, my friends, wraps up our history lesson.
But there is a life lesson in this story that I do want to talk about. The story about Hernán Cortés, in its simplest form, is really just about commitment.
Retreat is easy when you let yourself have the option.
On February 15th, 2019, while attending my very first Recovery Elevator event, Nashville LIVE…I hit 100 days sober. I can remember how excited I was when I did the math and realized I would be there on that day. But I was also terrified! Flying across the country, alone, to go meet members from my online recovery community, that I only knew from Facebook…was stepping way outside of my comfort zone. It was scary, I was so nervous I almost canceled the trip. Strangers scared me. People scared me.
At that point in my sobriety, counting days was very important to me. There were days, even weeks, in the beginning, when counting those days was all I could focus on. But that got me to day 100. The first day 100 in many, many years.
Knowing myself, and finally being honest with myself, I knew that I would have to do something more than count days and read quit lit if I was going to make it another 100 days. I needed more accountability and I was going to have to get uncomfortable. So I bought that plane ticket to Nashville. And I secretly made plans to publicly share my milestone of 100 days sober on social media.
It’s not just a coincidence that my 100th day fell 100 days after my (last?) rock bottom moment. I’m not going to go into anymore of my story right now, if you’re curious you can listen to my interview – Recovery Elevator Episode 255.
When it came time to press “Post” I was a mess of sweaty, shakey, nerves. Even admitting to the people that knew, from personal experience, of my drinking problem was hard. I was embarrassed, filled with shame and guilt. My anxiety was still at an all time high, almost paralyzing at times.
There is this stigma associated with addiction, and too often it keeps people from admitting they have a problem or from seeking help. The word ‘alcoholic’ brings up images of a person living under a bridge, drinking from a brown paper bag.
I often felt damaged, defective, less than. I knew that in order for me to move forward in life, to break the cycle I had been on, that I would have to do something drastic.
This public post on Facebook was my ‘drastic’. ??
I have never regretted posting it. As I started getting the notifications from comments and likes I was afraid to go read them. When I finally did I wanted to cry. Happy tears. ? Grateful tears. I was overwhelmed and speechless by all the positive, encouraging, supportive and ‘I can relate’ messages that I got. I was shown nothing but love.
This single scary ‘burn the ships’ post 100 days in busted down the door and has made it easy for me to continue to share my journey. Using my story and my voice helps keep me in check, and it helps others know that they are not alone.
Fast forward to today…In the few days before sitting down to get these words out I was doing a lot of thinking about my 100 day post, trying to remember the way I was feeling, what emotions I was experiencing. What quickly came to mind was how scared I was. Putting yourself out there like this, being vulnerable like this, is scary. And once it’s out there…once that ship has been burned…it can’t be unburned! But that’s the point, right? I knew I had no other choice, I had to take action. If I didn’t, nothing would change. Even though I really wanted to get sober and live a life without alcohol, I was too scared to leave the comfortable and familiar. Burning the ships gave me the courage, strength, and the push, to step into a new life.
Have you burned your ships? Or do you always give yourself a way out?
It doesn’t have to be a public blast on social media like I did. That was a level 5 on the Burnometer! ?
There are different levels of burning the ships. Start with level 1, work your way up! They all will help establish another layer of accountability for you.
Level 1: Someone you don’t know well. This could be a store clerk, a barista, a friend from book club, but not a stranger.
Level 2: Someone you consider a friend, or who you have regular monthly interaction with. This is an acquaintance from the gym, a neighbor, restaurant employee.
Level 3: This is someone you interact with on a weekly basis. Co-worker, good friend, running partner, or hiking friend.
Level 4: Meeting with a close group of friends, family, spouse, in person conversation. Immediate family.
Level 5: FB Live, Podcast, Social media post, family meeting, airplane with banner in the sky.
I challenge you to pick a level above, find someone that fits the description…and burn baby burn. ?
Please come back and share your experience with me!
Until next time, be well.
KMac ??
