RE 291: Do Better

RE 291: Do Better

Kevin took his last drink April 11, 2020. With just over 3 months away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).

 

Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You…..

 

Receiving feedback and how to do better. After a negative comment / feedback from a listener, Odette took the comments and the feedback and is seeing this as an opportunity to do better. It seems these days that “do better” is being used more and explored. This was the universe remining her that she is worthy, the listener is worthy, and everyone is worthy. She has gratitude and love for the listener because they allowed to her see something from a different perspective. If you have feedback, please send an email to Odette.

 

[7:23] Odette introduces Kevin.

 

Kevin is 59 and originally from Philadelphia, he has lives in Florida for the past 20 years. He’s a printer and works for the schoolboard. He’s married and loves cooking, traveling and doing charcoal portraits.

 

[9:13] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?

 

Kevin said that when he was 7, he became the drink maker at his grandparents’ card games. He would have some whiskey and ginger ale himself. In 4th grade he was bullied, so he would go home at lunch to eat but also to do a few shots of liquor so he could deal with that. In high school he fell in with a crowd that drank and also sold drugs. He continued in that pattern until he met his now wife at the age of 33. He quit the drugs, but his drinking continued to escalate. In 2017 he spent 3 days in a psych ward, leaving there he sent to AA and a counselor, but it never really took, and he relapsed.

 

[12:26] Did anybody notice that all this was happening when you were so young?

 

Kevin said that he was a latch key kid, so his use of alcohol wasn’t noticed. And when he was in high school, he was always out of the house and with friends, so again, it wasn’t noticed. However, he says that while in high school he knew he had a bad alcohol problem on his hands.

 

[14:22] Did you ever reach out to somebody in those early days or was alcohol normalized in your family?

 

Kevin said his grandfather owned a bar and his parents had an active social life and he was a bartender at different points, so alcohol was always a part of his life.

 

[15:03] How did alcohol cause conflict in your marriage(s)?

 

Kevin said in his first marriage they were both very immature and it wasn’t ever going to last. With his second wife, he emulated her and wanted her to be proud of him. It never worked out however and he felt he was always disappointing her.

 

[16:40] What happened that made you want to reach out and get help?

 

Kevin said there were a lot of moments. Between injuries, unhealthy arguments and car accidents there were lots of red flags. He always thought he had it under control. He doesn’t have an off switch.

 

[18:55] What happened in April of this year?

 

Kevin said this time he wanted to get sober and committed to AA, he didn’t have another second chance in him. He was tired of playing the alcohol game, wondering where he would get more and having alcohol control his life.

 

[20:49] What do you do when you get a craving?

 

Kevin said he changes his environment right away. He gets out of where he is and tries to get a new headspace. In about 30 minutes time the craving is gone. He doesn’t call them alcohol cravings, but more the idea of alcohol gets in his brain.

 

Kevin uses the Merriam Webster app and it gives him a “word of the day”. He takes that word and tries to apply it to his sobriety throughout the day. This gives him a fresh perspective to sobriety over and over.

 

[23:00] Tell me about your family dynamics?

 

Kevin said for 24 years he was a tornado leaving a path of devastation through his marriage. They are trying to figure things out and he wants his wife to be happy and have a good life.

 

[26:02] What is your favorite thing about the AA program?

 

Kevin said the communication and connection with other people in recovery.

 

[28:20] Are there any other resources that have been helping you in this journey?

 

Kevin said he always has something going on to fill his time. Between podcasts and reading or going to meetings.

 

[28:58] What’s your favorite NA drink?

 

Iced coffee, with coffee ice cubes.

 

[29:36] Did you notice a change in your sugar intake?

 

Kevin said he never had a sweet tooth until he stopped drinking. But now he adds honey to his oats! He’s trying to scale back his sugar intake.

 

[30:52] What’s your go-to response when someone offers you a drink?

 

Kevin said he tells people “I’m an alcohol and I’m living it sober”. He has no reservations about telling people.

 

[31:30] Do you notice any pushback from people who you tell?

 

Kevin said the friends he has in Florida are accepting and have been nothing but positive.

 

[33:07] What are you excited about right now?

 

Kevin is excited about the future. He wants to get involved with helping other people in recovery.

 

[34:47] Has your sleep improved?

 

Kevin said he wasn’t a great sleeper throughout most of his life, so while that pattern remains, he’s no longer sluggish and his body doesn’t hurt. He feels rested.

 

[31:30] Do you have to do virtual meetings during the pandemic?

 

Kevin said his room has been open throughout the pandemic and he is a little unsure if he would have had success doing virtual meetings. He needs the in-person/human connections.

 

[39:28] Have you been able to identify triggers?

 

Kevin said he drank for so long that he’s unsure if he actually has triggers. He drank simply because it was part of his life.

 

 

[41:13] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had during this journey?

 

Realizing he could go through the day without alcohol.

 

  1. What would you say to your younger self?

 

Love and value yourself. You matter. You have something to offer.

 

  1. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?

 

Coffee with chocolate covered espresso beans on top.

 

  1. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze?

 

It’s important to stay focused and keep your sobriety in front of you. Stay focused on your interests and keep your mind active. Stress is a killer.

 

You may have to say adios to booze…

 

If you come back to your table from an open bar with 4 drinks and 2 shots in your hand and ask if anyone wants anything themselves.

 

Odette’s challenge this week:

 

Try to build a practice around your negative self-talk. Swap out the negative with a kinder message for yourself. Give yourself the love you need.

 

 

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. 

 

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

 

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

  • Recovery Elevator’s first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
  • Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
  • You can find more information about our events

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

 

Resources:

Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTubeSubscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  –info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – “Be the light and shine bright, you have the power to make a difference – I love you guys”

RE 290: Let’s Not Label This a Problem

RE 290: Let’s Not Label This a Problem

Taylor took his last drink June 7, 2019. With just over 13 months away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).

 

Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You…..

 

WAIT WAIT! It’s Paul’s 6 year Sober-versary! So instead we bring you Paul’s 6 big insights since his handing off the podcast to Odette.

  • People are struggling right now due to Covid, but let’s not label this as a problem. Let’s go within and have some spiritual growth.
  • Turn off the news.
  • The ego always sets its own trap.
  • Pets are the reason the human race hasn’t imploded yet.
  • He has gained empathy.
  • It’s never too late to accomplish a goal.

Bonus insight:

  • Paul’s parents are RAD!

 

[19:08] Paul introduces Taylor.

 

Taylor is 30 years old and lives in Thornton, Colorado with his two dogs, Harley and Rooster. While he’s lived in many places over the years, he grew up in Sacramento, California and now is in Colorado. He loves walking his dogs, record and write music, rock climbing, mountain biking, photography, hiking, skiing, snowboarding, wakeboarding, video editing and D&D. He likes to try all the hobbies now.

 

[23:54] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?

 

Taylor said he started exploring alcohol around age 14. He wanted to see what alcohol was all about. He didn’t really touch alcohol again until he was about 16, mostly in High School he smoked weed. However, alcohol did allow him to fit in. His father and stepmother caught him smoking weed in college and made the decision to send him to live with his mother. This started his “victims’ story” because he wasn’t allowed to smoke weed anymore, so he was “forced to drink alcohol”. He saw his career grow however by quitting smoking weed, but there was alcohol ever present.

 

At 26 he found himself trying to moderate alcohol. Just before he deployed to Afghanistan, he thought to stop drinking a few days before, and he found himself in withdrawals. After not drinking while overseas, he ordered a drink on the plane home. Being home he was again trying to moderate.

 

[33:53] Tell me about going back to drinking after returning from Afghanistan?

 

Taylor said that he understood that he had seen the “other side of life” and you can never really go back. Alcohol just isn’t the same and he knew he was doomed. After his girlfriend left, was his rock bottom moment.

 

[42:19] Walk me through those first 30 days?

 

Taylor said he fully dove into recovery: “I sober like I drank”. When his father left, he kept going to therapy and AA. His pink cloud lasted 3 months and the energies to stay sober were stronger than his desire to drink. He found a lot of humility and got a sponsor and started working the steps.

 

[47:09] Can you share with listeners the difference between your 29th and your 30th birthdays?

 

Taylor said on his 29th birthday was in his first 30 days of sobriety. He sat at home and he didn’t have anything to do or anyone to hang out with. He called a newfound AA friend and he came over and they watched TV together. His 30th birthday he had 20 people show up to his birthday, from all parts of his life. He was humbled in that moment of the work that he had done to be the authentic Taylor.

 

[50:44] Do you still get cravings?

 

Taylor said yes. His alter drinking ego is named Gregory and he’s no longer the enemy of Taylor. Gregory still tries to get him to drinking, but he can have the conversation with Gregory about why they aren’t going to drink. Taylor treats Gregory like a sick child, with care and compassion. Cravings are now fleeting thoughts.

 

[57:47] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

 

Peanut butter and banana with candied bacon milkshake

 

  1. What would you say to your younger self?

 

Slow down, be gentle, be kind.

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?

 

People, AA, The Calm App, Nature, Café RE, a picture of a dog.

Books:

Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn

The Tao of Pooh & The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff

 

  1. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze?

 

To be kind to yourself today and do the next kind thing.

 

You may have to say adios to booze…

 

If you have driven to another state to buy more alcohol because the stores in your state are closed.

 

Odette’s final thoughts this week:

 

Congratulations Paul. You are loved, supported and you are worth it.

 

 

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. 

 

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

 

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

  • Recovery Elevator’s first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
  • Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
  • You can find more information about our events

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

 

Resources:

Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTubeSubscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  –info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – “We took the elevator down, we have to take the stairs back up, we can do this – I love you guys”

RE 289: Co-occurring Disorders

RE 289: Co-occurring Disorders

Early took their last drink November 16, 2019. With almost 8 months (at the time of recording) this is their story of living alcohol free (AF).

 

Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You.

Co-occurring disorders or dual diagnosis describes a person who has more than one medical issue either with two diseases simultaneously or one disease successively after the other. These may be mental or physical.

Odette reminds us that we are not alone.

 

[5:23] Odette introduces Early.

 

Early is 32 years old and living off the grid on the Ozark Plateau. They have 3 dogs who are their very best friends. For work they go back and forth between migrant farm work and restaurant service industry. For fun they like to learn about the area surrounding them, the plants and animals. Also chopping wood and the other living in the woods chores.

Living off the grid means that Early is not connected to the electrical power grid & any city water or sewage. They have solar power and collect rain water or spring water. They have a composting outhouse. Early says they are connected to the earth in a way that feels more ethical to them.

 

[8:33] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?

 

Early said that their whole life has been characterized by very intense addiction. The first drink they had was a stolen Miller High Life at the age of 10. The first blackout came at 14, drinking in the mornings and vomiting in their sleep came at 16. They were drawn to alcohol due to being socially awkward and having few friends. Being a deviant led them into a world of acceptance. As an adult, along with therapy and their diagnosis as being on the spectrum, these factors make sense now.

By 18 Early was drinking daily and that’s the first time they wanted to stop drinking. Willpower didn’t work and AA wasn’t the avenue they wanted to take. Between the ages of 18 and 31 they tried many times to quit.

 

[11:44] When did you receive your diagnosis?

 

Early said at 29 there was an incident in which they sexually assaulted their best friend. It never would have happened if they had not been under the influence of alcohol. After that they checked themself into a mental hospital for help. There they were diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Early’s therapist post that also diagnosed them with Autisms Spectrum disorder and PTSD from childhood sexual abuse.

 

[13:43] What went through your mind after all these diagnoses?

 

Early said leaving the mental hospital they were detoxed from alcohol and also on new anti-psychotic medicine for brand new diagnoses. They weren’t given any tools on how to handle not drinking and their only coping ability from the past 20 years, so to cope, they drank.

 

[16:20] What happened after you left the hospital?

 

Early said that they knew they needed to remove alcohol but had no tools. They would white knuckle it for a few days and then drink. Over time they began to find different tools that worked for them. They incorporated yoga, drinking more water, changing their diet, getting regular sleep (basic needs as Early says!). However, the feeling of shame and the belief that they are a bad person remained. Early began drinking in secret and isolating themselves in-between moments of white knuckling sobriety.

 

[20:12] You seem to have such grit. Where did this come from and how did you find the determination to keep trying?

 

Early said their last night of drinking was an average night of drinking. The change began a year ago when their father passed away suddenly. They saw life from outside their own for the first time. That winter they declared that they would do anything to get sober. They kept trying and using all the tools they had learned over the years of trying to quit. They stopped feeling sorry for themselves and that helped to cut the shame. Early learned they were worthy of love and happiness. They describe themselves as a hard headed stubborn determined person and that might be the grit that is seen.

 

[27:51] How is it balancing and navigating symptoms from these disorders?

 

Early said that preventative maintenance for everything has dulled down many of the symptoms day to day. Every day they make sure they are getting proper nutrition, getting enough sleep, drinking enough water and feeding their soul. Taking care of the body and mind at a baselevel is paramount.

 

[29:58] Tell me about the people surrounding you?

 

Early said they understands they hurt a lot of people and people who left did so for a reason. And now the longer they are sober and people see them out doing the work, people are slowly returning into their life.

 

[34:06] Can you tell me about your routine?

 

Early said that they have a morning routine. Every day they try to wake up at the same time, drink water, walk their dogs, eat, take herbs, do meditation, work on a project that makes them proud (currently building their own house). In the evenings, eat dinner, listen to a podcast, do some meditation and go to sleep at the same time.

 

[35:37] Tell me more about building your own house.

 

Early said when they first moved to this property there was a dilapidated shack there and they lived there for about 4 years. Upon getting sober, they demolished the house and started to build their own with their neighbors.

 

 

[35:57] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What would you say to your younger self?

 

Stick with it, you’re worth it and things will change for the better.

 

  1. What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had in this journey?

 

Neuroplasticity

 

  1. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

 

Chocolate chip cookie dough

 

  1. What are some words of wisdom you can share with listeners that want help ditching the booze and help with their mental health?

 

Don’t compare yourself to others story. You’re worth getting ahold of your drinking and your mental health. Do the work.

 

You may have to say adios to booze…

 

if you have woken up covered in blue vomit…. Twice.

 

Odette’s final thoughts this week:

“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” – Eckhart Tolle

 

 

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. 

 

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

 

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

  • Recovery Elevator’s first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
  • Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
  • You can find more information about our events

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

 

Resources:

Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTubeSubscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  –info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – “Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”-Eckhart Tolle- I love you guys”

RE 288: AF Drinks with Gruvi

RE 288: AF Drinks with Gruvi

Anika is the founder of Grüvi and a member of the sober curious community. This is her story of being an entrepreneur and helping to provide NA beverages to those who want them.

 

Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You.

You are in charge of setting and honoring your own boundaries. Everyone has different triggers, for example if NA beers and beverages are triggering to you, then you don’t have to explore that avenue. You know how to best protect your journey. Stay open and stay curious and protect your energy.

 

[4:53] Odette introduces Anika.

 

Anika is sober curious so she’s not very strict on keeping track of dates. But her last drink was right around the beginning of Covid. She is 24 years old and lives in Canada. She enjoys being outdoors, yoga, hiking and traveling.

 

[6:56] Walk me through your sober curious journey.

 

Anika said her sober curious nature came out during her last year at University. She was a social drinker, but in her last year she found herself saying “I don’t want to have to go out with friends tonight, because then I will have to drink and then I will be hung over.” She experienced all the benefits of a life away from alcohol: better sleep, having more clarity and being more productive.

 

[9:38] Did something spark your thought process to become aware of a life away from alcohol at such a young age?

 

Anika said at first, she was like everyone else with regards to drinking and felt it was a stage in life. But when she created the Grüvi brand was when she really started to see how life can continue on without alcohol and with an alternate beverage. She was able to have a social life without having to have the social lubricant.

 

[11:15] How did Grüvi start?

 

Grüvi launched a year ago in Denver and it’s a family business. They have been a health focused family, led by their father. Finding that the NA category was lacking in options pushed them to create Grüvi.

 

[12:34] Where did the name come from?

 

Anika said Grüvi is taking the word “groovy” and making it fun and new. You can be fun and silly and youthful even without alcohol.

 

[14:59] Tell me about the specifics of Grüvi?

 

Currently there are 4 craft beers and 1 prosecco. The beers are brewed through a processed of arrested fermentation, which stops the brewing before any alcohol is introduced. However, because this does go through a fermentation process, there are trace amounts of alcohol (similar to kombuca). The prosecco is 0.0% ABV.

They are expanding too! Anika says that hopefully they will be offering a bubbly Rose by the end of summer 2020.

 

[20:58] Are most people open to the dialogue (about this NA movement)?

 

Anika said that after living in Denver for over a year after University and returning to Canada and the friend group there, she was a little nervous. Through this she has realized that her friends support her no matter what. And she told them she is happy with her decision to not be drinking so they should be too.

 

[23:10] What’s it like working with your family?

 

Anika said so far, it’s been great! They are living together again as a family and it’s been smooth. She’s enjoying the opportunity to grow closer to her family through this.

 

[33:30] What are you excited about right now?

 

Anika said every day is new and exciting. Grüvi is at that step where they are expanding and growing. This includes new states and being able to be local and accessible to more people. They are expanding their ambassador program and Anika is spearheading this. She loves getting to talk to the community and grow the movement together.

 

[36:50] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. Other than Grüvi, what’s your favorite NA beverage?

 

Being her own bartender and making mocktails or a matcha latte.

 

  1. What is a memorable moment you’ve had while not drinking?

 

Going out dancing with her friends and enjoying the music.

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources?

 

Books:

The Sober Curious & This Naked Mind

Instagram accounts:

@Ditchedthedrink

@soberbabes

 

  1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze?

 

Take the first jump, the first decision is always the hardest. You have nothing to lose.

 

Odette’s challenge this week:

Give a new tool a try. Maybe you go to an AA meeting for the first time, maybe you join Café Re, maybe you ask a friend to be your accountability partner, maybe you try a new Kombucha flavor or you try a new meditation. If we don’t try new things we will never know if it will help us in this journey.

Email Odette here and tell her what you tried.

 

Grüvi discount detail:

For 15% off your order with Grüvi visit their website and use the promo code recovery elevator at checkout. 

 

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. 

 

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

  • Recovery Elevator’s first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
  • Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
  • You can find more information about our events

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

 

Resources:

Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTubeSubscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  –info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – Let’s be respectful of others, lets focus on similarities and not differences, let’s make space for those who are different than us instead of automatically canceling them out- I love each and every one of you guys”

RE 287: Should We Be Drinking Less?

RE 287: Should We Be Drinking Less?

Alan took his last drink December 23, 2019. With almost 6 months (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).

Announcing Recovery Elevator’s first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You.

The New York Times article “Should We Be Drinking Less?” is from July 10th, 2020. It’s the stark contrast to articles which tout having 1-2 glasses of wine has healthy benefits or how rose will help you through motherhood. The idea that moderate drinking is acceptable actually keeps people drinking because it’s seen as ok in the eyes of society.

There is a shift that is happening and people are questioning the narrative of what’s acceptable when drinking.

[7:47] Odette introduces Alan.

Alan lives outside Atlanta and is 49 years old. His last drink was the day before Christmas Eve 2019. He drank everything and was blackout drunk that night. His 15 year old daughter had been at a friend’s house and came home to find her father passed out in a chair with a spilled glass of wine. The next morning knowing his daughter had seen that changed the course of his life. He didn’t want to live that way any longer.

Alan’s daughter mentioned above is actually one of triplets. He has three 15 year old children and has been married to his wife for almost 18 years. He’s in software sales and is trying to figure out what he likes to do for fun now that he’s sober. He enjoys health and fitness and has a Peloton.

[18:37] Walk me through your drinking career.

Alan said that he began drinking in high school and it started out normal, transitioned into college and that drinking atmosphere. College for him was one big party. He continued the pace of college drinking afterwards. He worked for a year in Aspen and drank 7 days a week. He returned to Atlanta, while his drinking slowed, he was always concerned about where the next drink was coming from and this is when his drinking became abnormal. Alan believes he was covering up fear with his drinking. Fear of fitting in, fear of getting a good job, fear of making enough money, fear of meeting the right girl, fear of getting a big title. The fear was gone when he drank.

[27:15] Tell me about joining Café RE and how was that first month?

Alan said Café RE was the springboard to connection. He didn’t realize the connection was so powerful with other people looking to live the same life. After feeling like he had been driving in foggy conditions for 10 years, the fog cleared and he was able to see finally.

[33:36] What works for you when you have a craving?

Alan said he has learned a ton of tools in Café RE. The biggest one is from Paul’s book, Alcohol is SH!T, which says to “play the tape forward”. While he can romanticize the drink on his porch, Alan can also now see where that one drink will lead. He’s seen the movie, he knows the ending and it’s not good!

[36:11] How has your family dynamic changed?

Alan said about 3 months in his wife looked at him and told him he was like a new person. He is present now. While he’s always been a father who was physically there, he always existed in the fog. He told his daughter that he was getting help for his drinking and that’s a huge accountability step for him, one he can never go back on.

[41:00] What have you discovered about yourself?

Alan said he’s learned he can juggle a lot of things in life. He has the ability to handle what life throws at him.

[42:51] If you could talk to day 1 Alan, what would you say?

Connect with likeminded individuals as soon as possible. Do not attempt to do this alone.

[43:20] Had you tried to stop drinking previously?

Alan said he probably tried about 4 times seriously. But never had connection, resources, understanding or community. He always went at it alone and would call himself a Dry Drunk.

[44:52] Rapid Fire Round 

 

  1. What do you bring to a BYO party?

Bubly, 1 can of Monster Energy drink

  1.  What is a drinking myth you’ve seen debunked?

Myth: You can’t have fun without drinking.

Truth: You can have SO much fun without drinking (and the next day!)

 

  1. Do you celebrate milestones?

Yes, but the journey is never ending.

  1. What are some words of wisdom you can share with listeners?

If you are thinking about this path, I promise you life is better without the booze. The fog will lift!

You may have to say adios to alcohol… 

if you’re at the airport bar and the gate is right across from you, but you intentionally miss your flight so you can keep drinking.

Odette’s challenge this week:

Share the NY Times article with someone you know. Plant the seed of living a life away from alcohol.

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. 

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

  • Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
  • You can find more information about our events here.  

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!  

Resources: 

Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTube Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

“Recovery Elevator – How about we just stick to La Croix, sound good?- I love you guys”

RE 286: It’s Never Too Late To Quit Drinking

RE 286: It’s Never Too Late To Quit Drinking

Jim took his last drink April 7, 2020. With just over 70 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).

 

Today Odette opens talking about finding the better you and her own take away from Holly Whitaker’s Quit Like A Woman. She focuses on what Holly says about when a craving strikes. Learn to relax into the craving rather than distract.

 

RASINS

Recognize

Allow

Set aside the story

Investigate what is happening in your body

Name the sensations

Surf

 

Let’s set the scene: You have finished your 100th zoom call of the day and you are ready to relax for the night. You want to pour a glass of wine. Here is how to implement RASINS.

Admit the craving, allow the craving to build, set aside the negative thoughts telling you that you suck. Maybe try a meditation practice. Focus on how your body is feeling. Is your heart racing, are your palms sweating? Ride the wave of emotion, this is manageable.

 

 

[7:12] Odette introduces Jim.

 

Jim is 71 years old and he lives on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. He is about to retire fully from his career in public education. He’s been married for 47 years and has 3 children and 4 grandkids. He enjoys hiking, reading, swimming and volunteering at church and in schools. He has recently picked up golf too!

 

[11:33] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking?

 

Jim said he began drinking in high school and also drank in college. He joined a fraternity and soon after stopped going to call and flunked out. His father told him he was not welcome at home, so Jim joined the Merchant Marines after that. He said that although drinking was prohibited on the boats, that was far from the reality. After a winter in the Merchant Marines he was drafted into the Vietnam War, however his college agreed to re-admit him. Once back in college he was right back where he started. He did meet his “beautiful bride” while in school and she got him going back to class and he did graduate. His chosen career was something that he felt was more important that his drinking. So, he didn’t drink before work, but after work, all bets were off. Once he began to approach retirement, he had more time on his hands and the habits of college drinking returned.

 

[15:14] Do you remember your emotional state when your father told you that you weren’t allowed back home?

 

Jim said at the time he was very resentful and thought his father was not loving and caring. He felt his father was putting his own reputation and career over Jim’s circumstances. Looking back on it, Jim can say he knows that his father made a great decision.

 

[22:15] Did you notice your relationships changing/eroding?

 

Jim said his own ability to be a pleasant person when he was drinking was almost non-existent. He had a lot of irritability over very little things.

 

[25:38] Do you still have cravings?

 

Jim said he still has cravings. He uses HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) when a craving strikes. He then reflects on the thought and feeling and reminds himself this will happen and to “not let it shake your tree” because this will pass.

 

[27:29] How did you find Recovery Elevator/ resources for this journey?

 

Jim said was listening to NPR shows and thought that there must be something recovery specific out there. He found Recovery Elevator from a google search and made it a part of his every day.

 

[28:50] Did you notice you had to change certain aspects of your entire routine?

 

Jim said that he wakes up every morning and looks at a stack of notecards he has created. He reminds himself every day his reasons why he’s stopped drinking. He focuses on reading and reddit subs and meditation.

 

[33:46] Do you find nighttime to be a more challenging time of the day?

 

Jim said he doesn’t struggle at night. He also had notecards on his bedside table. He tries to end every day thinking about what he’s grateful for and on a positive note.

 

[34:44] Have you notice changes in your sleep patterns?

 

Jim said yes. His dreams are clear and amazing. He sleeps more soundly.

 

[37:23] What have you learned about yourself that has really surprised you?

 

Jim said he used to have a lot of self-doubt if he could do this. He’s learned we can all do this.

 

[39:00] What are you excited about right now?

 

Jim said he feels like a new person in life and so the possibilities are opening up. He’s no longer shackled by alcohol. His schedule is open.

 

 

 

[40:54] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What is your favorite NA beverage?

 

Flavored water.

 

  1. What is a drinking myth you’ve seen debunked?

 

If you’re old there’s no sense in trying to stop drinking. (not true!)

 

  1. What would you say to Day 1 Jim?

 

Jim as you walk through day 1, walk through that door, it’s going to be awesome. You will not regret one second of this.

 

  1. What are some words of wisdom you can share with listeners?

 

I could have done this sooner, just let it go. There’s a family out there ready to help you. You can do this.

 

You may have to say adios to alcohol…

 

Adios, good riddance and see you later alligator!

 

Odette’s challenge this week:

Write down the meaning of RASINS and put it into practice this week.

 

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. 

 

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

  • Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
  • You can find more information about our events

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

 

Resources:

Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTubeSubscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  –info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside out- I love you guys”

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