RE 255: Does Addiction Serve a Purpose?

by Paul Churchill | Jan 6, 2020 | Podcast

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Kerri took her last drink on November 6, 2018.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

Happy New Year!  On January 1^st the 4^th Café RE group, UP, opened.

2020’ Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind, will take place June 11-13 in Denver, CO.  Registration opens on January 8^th, you can find more information about our events here.

On today’s episode Paul talks about meeting the man he would stay with while in Mexico, hearing his story, and discovering they had a connection through the TEDx Talk that Paul gave.  You can find the TEDx Talk, I’ve been duped by alcohol, here.

Paul also discusses a video he recently watched, an interview by Dr. Gabor Mate, (author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts).  Dr. Mate says if you want to look at what causes the addiction you have to look at the benefit of addiction.  That the greatest myth on addiction is that its genetic, the other myth around addiction is that it is a choice that people make.  You can watch the Dr. Gabor Mate video here.

[10:14] Paul introduces Kerri.  (**Doing the shownotes for my own interview is awkward! **) 

Kerri just turned 50, is married, and lives in Redding, CA.  She has two adult daughters, that both have families, and is a grandmother to 4.  For work Kerri recently fell into a new career, as a baker, and does stuff for RE.  For fun Kerri loves to be outdoors, hiking, taking her 3 rescue dogs out, travel, and kayaking.

[15:51] Give us a background on your drinking.

Kerri started drinking in high school and was a black out drinker from the start.  A family move before 9^th grade made Kerri very angry.  Alcohol helped her fit into a new school and she quickly became known as a partier.

Kerri got married at 19, had her daughters right away.  She says that her and her ex-husband were problem drinkers throughout their entire 17-year marriage.  Kerri’s drinking really ramped up after her divorce.

[17:00] How old were you when you realized you had a problem with alcohol? 

Kerri says that in high school she knew she didn’t drink like her friends, but that she didn’t care.  Alcohol got her out of her shell.

[18:00] What happened after your divorce?

Kerri says her drinking ramped up and it got bad, really quick.  It was a big life change for Kerri, with the divorce, having to go out and find a job, and her daughters basically being out of the house.  She was drinking at home alone, blacking out every time.

[23:35] How come you didn’t feel ready to do this interview?    

Kerri said she didn’t feel like she had anything worth sharing.  She said that has felt that way all her life.

[26:23] Did you have a rock bottom moment?

Kerri said yes.  After getting her teaching credential later in life, which Kerri says was a dream job, she was fired from two teaching jobs as the result of her drinking.  Kerri surrendered her teaching credential.

[31:00] Talk to us about how you did it the first weeks, first month.

Kerri said it was really hard, that she didn’t know what anyone (co-workers, parents) was told or what they knew.  Kerri was afraid to leave her house for fear of running into someone, she would grocery shop at 2:00 AM.  She said she was filled with so much anxiety that she didn’t know how she was going to come out of it the 2^nd time around.  She went to a therapist for the first time.  She sought out and entered into a 90-day IOP program.

[35:17] You’ve burned the ships on social media, what kind of response have you received?

Kerri said she has received nothing but support and encouragement, and she encourages everyone to do it.

[37:50] Talk to us about the breakthrough you had at the Bozeman retreat. 

Kerri said she got much from the entire retreat but it was the Clarity Breathwork that really did it for her.  She said once she was able to stop paying attention to what was going on around her and just do her thing, she was able to experience something powerful that changed her.

[44:38] Rapid Fire Round

1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

That I don’t have to live up to, what I think are, other people’s expectations.

2. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

All these RE retreats, that is something I never would have imagined doing…taking off and meeting strangers.

3. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

I’m kind of boring, I really don’t do the mocktail thing, I’m a water drinker.

4. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

Definitely Café RE, these sober meetups, retreats and I listen to a lot of podcasts.

5. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

Travel, travel, and more travel.  I want to do a marathon.

6. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

To recover, get sober, whatever you want to call it, your way.  Your way may be different than someone else’s, and to not worry about what other people think.

You might need to ditch the booze if…

You wake up one morning with a broken ankle and you have no idea how you did it.

Upcoming Events and Retreats.

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind – in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach – October 8 – 18th, 2020

You can find more information about our events here.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

SkillShare

Get two months free of classes with Skillshare at www.skillshare.com/ELEVATOR

BetterHelp 

Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.

Skillshare

For two free months of premium membership visit www.skillshare.com/elevator

Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

RE 499: Get Your Roll On

by Kris Oyen | Sep 9, 2024 | Podcast

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Episode 499 – Get Your Roll On

Today we have Kerri. She is 55 years old, lives in Redding, CA and took her last drink on March 2^nd, 2022.

Sponsors mentioned in this episode:

Better Help  – code ELEVATOR

Soberlink – receive $50 off of a device

Better Rhodes – code RECOVERYELEVATOR15

RiseUp Coffee

Athletic Brewing

Sarilla

[02:47] Thoughts from Paul:

Prior to AA, alcoholism was considered a fatal disease. In less than 100 years, so much progress has been made in how alcoholism is viewed and treated. Now there is 100% a way out.

We now know the most potent antidote to addiction is connection. And this looks like community, preferably one that contains a lot of laughter, which we have all heard is the best medicine.

Paul shares with us that when he was crafting the recent Bozeman Retreat’s itinerary, he spent a lot of time thinking about one of the activities he was considering: a Skee-Ball tournament. The retreat is already full of the standard heavy hitters of share groups, breathwork, etc. but he wanted to try something different. Check out the pictures of the event in the post today: RE on Instagram

So, 100 years ago, it was shock therapy and isolation to cure alcoholism. Today it’s Skee-Ball, laughter, and connection.

[10:34] Kris introduces KMac:

Kerri is 55 years old and lives in Redding, CA. She has two adult daughters and five grandchildren. She is married and they have two dogs. For fun, Kerri has recently gotten into ultrarunning. She works full time for RE/Café RE as the community manager and event coordinator.

Kerri says she started drinking in high school and was a blackout drinker from the beginning. She and her first husband drank a lot during their marriage, and it escalated for Kerri after their divorce.

Kerri became a teacher later in life, but her drinking caused her to lose multiple teaching jobs over the course of a few years. She was involved with her local AA group and had a sponsor during this time. She ended up joining Café RE and rather quickly, volunteered to help do the show notes for the podcast. Over time her involvement with RE evolved.

Kerri had over a year alcohol free before the binge drinking returned. She had stopped counting days and recognized that it made it easier for her to drink. Currently days are very important to Kerri.

As Kerri began working more for RE, she feels that it took away the community for her. She didn’t feel comfortable sharing her struggles within the groups because of her role.

Knowing that she couldn’t recover alone, Kerri began to open up and have tough conversations with the RE team. She was at the point where she was feeling like she was never going to be able to quit and found herself, with the encouragement of others, making the decision to go to inpatient rehab.

Kerri says that being The Hab was tough at first and a lot of the people there were younger than her. After finding a good counselor and therapist, she was able to finally start opening up and sharing. At the end of 60 days, it was recommended she continue, so she stayed an additional 30.

After leaving she continued to do what she was doing while she was in rehab, which helps. She used to question why she drank like she did, but over time has decided it doesn’t matter.

Kerri says the biggest thing she has learned about herself is the importance of truly believing she is worthy. She is now able to recognize when she has feelings and being able to share them. She is more likely to ask for help when she needs it.

To the listener that is experiencing their own version of pacing around the living room not wanting to drink, Kerri wants to remind them that it’s not too late, this doesn’t have to be who you are or the road that you go down, you are worth asking for help and there is a community out there that are willing to walk that path with you.

Kerri’s first episode: RE Episode 255

Recovery Elevator

You’re the only one that can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone.

Love you guys.

Recovery Elevator YouTube

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

RE 302: From FOMO to JOMO

by Kris Oyen | Nov 30, 2020 | Podcast

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Jamie took her last drink April 16, 2019. With 485 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).

Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You

She is currently re-reading The Compound Effect. The general idea is that baby steps add up into large rewards. Change is hard. Gaining momentum on a decision is hard. This applies to our alcohol-free journey: turning down drinks, one at a time. Once we reframe the idea of this being a sacrifice and think of it as an opportunity instead, the trajectory changes. We must think of all the things we can add into our lives without alcohol. Odette makes a list of the things she has room for in her life now. Why don’t you make one too?

[7:00] Odette introduces Jamie

Jamie is 35 years old and lives on Long Island, NY. Her immediate family lives close and she lives with her 2 black cats. Jamie is a social worker. For fun she likes to run, go kayaking, reading, cooking and hanging out with friends. Being in nature is the best, it’s where she finds her higher power.

[9:57] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?

Jamie said she started drinking at the end of high school. In college her drinking seemed normal. She found there were hills and valleys with her drinking. When Jamie lost her mother at the age of 22 she remembers she was in a club in Greece and she identifies the synergy with that happening. The last 3-4 years her drinking escalated. She was blacking out and making poor choices. Looking back she can see the pattern of co-dependency.

[12:57] Did you notice after your mother passed that you used alcohol to deal with your grief?

Jamie said at first, she was so busy taking care of her father and making sure he was ok that alcohol was a secondary thought. But once she had some time away and time with her own feelings, she could see she was using alcohol the same as her mother, to numb down any emotions.

[18:05] Tell me about the first couple weeks of your journey?

Jamie said this was really the first time she honestly tried to get stop drinking. She had been living on the river of denial before this. Growing up her family didn’t express feelings, they drank or got angry. So, the first few weeks were new. She started a 12-step program and therapy. Jamie only knew 2 sober people at the time and she spoke to them a lot.

[23:49] What did you do initially when you had a craving?

Jamie said she didn’t really have a craving for the drink, but it was an emotional craving instead. She used a new found self-awareness to explore the feelings. She would pause and ask herself some questions about why she was feeling that way.

[28:18] After making the decision to not drinking, did you talk to your friends and family about it?

Jamie said she told people very quickly. She said the safe sentence “I’m not drinking right now”. After about a month, she started to see how this could be a lifestyle for her. 5-6 months in she began to share very openly on social media.

[30:48] What’s been the hardest part of this journey for you?

Jamie said feeling her feelings and not fighting them. Allowing the feelings to just be there. 

[34:27] What’s your morning routine?

Wakes up at 6am, feeds cats, reads and then moves her body. For the last 81 days (at the time of recording) Jamie has been running every morning. New Fashioned Sobriety and their Zero Proof Run Club hosted and a streaker challenge that she completed. Initially it was 41 days, which she completed. And now her pledge to herself is to move her body daily. She also makes sure to meditate daily.

[37:01] Did you used to have a witching hour?

Jamie said right after work, 5-7pm when before she would be at happy hour and now she fills the time with new routines. A fun mocktail, some tea, go for a walk, walk with a friend. 

 [40:13] Rapid Fire Round

1. What are you excited about right now?

Have her first sober healthy relationship.

1. What books are you reading right now?

Good Morning, Destroyer of Men’s Souls: A Memoir of Women, Addiction, and Love

1. What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had in this journey?

I can do almost anything sober that I did drunk.

1. If you could talk to day 1 Jamie, what would you say?

Jamie you are a warrior, you are a force you have no idea what this is going to bring you. You can be a light for other people.

1. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Anything with chocolate or peanut butter in it and even together!

1. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?

Café RE, Podcasts- Recovery Elevator, Recovery Happy Hour, Seltzer Squad, yoga, walking, running, kayaking and This Naked Mind and Sober Curious.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give people thinking about ditching the booze?

You are a brave, gentle soul and I applaud you. I wish you so much fun on your journey. It’s about taking that pain and making it fun. Tell somebody.

You may have to say adios to booze…

You drank so much while living in your parents basement and you couldn’t make it upstairs to the bathroom, so you throw up in the washing machine. 

Odette’s weekly challenge:

Think about your AF journey. How much have you been trying to hold onto things you think this journey will take from you? Is that realistic? Make a shift, start thinking about what you want to set out of this. About what you want to add to your life? Open your eyes, beauty is all around us. Choose you, stay sober, you’re also subscribing to abundance. 

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

• You can find more information about our events here.

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. 

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  –info@recoveryelevator.com

“Recovery Elevator – The birds are singing and when we are sober, we can actually hear them – I love you guys.”