by Kris Oyen | Jan 26, 2026 | Podcast
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Today we have Veronica. She is 52 years old, lives in Alabama and she had her last drink on May 1st, 2000.
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[03:07] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul wants to talk about the exploration he mentioned at the end of last week’s intro. When you first quit drinking, things kind of happen to you – sleep improves, your head clears and maybe a hobby resurfaces on it’s own. It’s passive.
But at some point, you realize that your not just not drinking anymore. You’re actually living. And you get to decide what that looks like. This is the intentional phase where you stop wandering and start exploring with purpose.
Now is the time to think about some things that you may have wanted to do but didn’t have the space for because alcohol consumed it all. Now you have the bandwidth to explore what you want to make space for in your life.
This week, Paul wants you to ask yourself, “what’s one thing I’ve been curious about that I haven’t made time for?” Just one small piece of unexplored territory.
Next week we will talk about what happens when you start building momentum but for now, just pick your direction. The expedition starts with a single step – now take it.
[7:40] Paul introduces Veronica:
Veronica is British but has lived in the US for about 15 years. She is married and has two sons. Veronica has worked as a psychotherapist and sobriety coach for many years, has written three books and has a strong online presence in the recovery space with Soberful (also the name of her most recent book).
Veronica started drinking when she was around age 13. She felt like it fixed the issues she had with being uncomfortable in her own skin. She says she was a binge drinker and began to use hallucinogenic drugs which impacted her negatively and triggered major anxiety for which she used alcohol to control.
Veronica was always looking for help for her anxiety and depression but never considered alcohol was contributing. When she moved to Florida, she met someone sober and it changed her outlook. Additionally, she was taking college courses in addiction counseling and after brief time of accidental sobriety, she began attending 12 step meetings to learn more about the people she planned to help.
Initially she didn’t identify with anyone at the meetings until someone spoke about fear. Veronica says this was her moment of clarity. Veronica feels that fear is the engine of an alcohol problem and it manifests anxiety and panic attacks in a lot of people.
Veronica went all in with getting a sponsor and doing the steps, becoming a therapist and began to work in a rehab. At 3 years sober, she hit an emotional rock bottom and discovered the work of emotional sobriety. She has discovered that this is 90% of the work of getting sober. Veronica acknowledges that working on emotional sobriety is a lifelong journey and changing our perceptions of things to overcome resentment is an important part of it.
Veronica Valli
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by Kris Oyen | Nov 10, 2025 | Podcast
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Today we have Dennis. He is 36 years old and lives near Vancouver, Canada. Dennis took his last drink on September 5th, 2025.
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[03:20] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares with us an article about stress by Dr. Rebecca Harris
Most stress management advice gets it wrong. We’re often told to focus inward and practice self-care like bubble baths, meditation and getting a massage. While these activities aren’t harmful, they’re missing something critical.
When we experience stress, our bodies release a cocktail of hormones. Most people focus on cortisol and adrenaline, but there’s another key player: oxytocin. This is the connection chemical that is primed when we are stressed.
Dr. Harris says that 58% of people stress out more when trying to control their stress. She says when researching workplace wellness programs, all of them fail to reduce stress with the exception of those programs that encourage employees to do charity or volunteer work.
So, when you are feeling stressed, try finding a way to help someone else. Or a pet? Take a dog for a walk, or your neighbor’s dog. Maybe it’s the planet. Get a trash bag and walk up and down your road. Get on the phone with someone and don’t talk about your problem but ask them how their life is going.
The magic of an addiction is that it is trying to bring us back to our roots. When you start feeling the feels, start thinking not about how to make yourself feel better, but how you can make someone else feel better.
[10:38] Paul introduces Dennis:
Dennis is 36 years old and lives outside of Vancouver, Canada. He is married and they have two kids and two dogs. For work, Dennis is a millwright working in industrial mechanics.
Dennis grew up with an alcoholic father. When he was younger, he was turned off by alcohol due to what it did to his family, but around age 15 he tried drinking and says it was a problem for him from the beginning. Some early experiences found him in precarious situations,
Dennis met his wife when he was 19 and they drank together until they had kids. His wife was able to cut back while Dennis was not. This put some stress on the marriage over time with his wife trying to give him reality checks that drove him to try and take breaks. Those would last nine or so months and then Dennis would think that he could moderate, but that never lasted long before he was back where he was or worse.
On the evening of September 5th, Dennis was very drunk and behaving poorly. Upon waking the next morning, Dennis passed out and cut his cheek. Instead of going to the hospital, he went to his tee time and played the worst round of golf ever, he says. He was dwelling on the incident and his drinking, realizing that he could not continue living this way.
The first week without alcohol Dennis just tried to stay busy while listening to other people’s stories on the RE podcast. This helped him recognize that he couldn’t do it alone and he began to burn the ships. This included a talk with his oldest son who told Dennis they were proud of him for wanting to get help.
After the first week, Dennis attended his first AA meeting. For the first time he felt proud of his decision to quit. He had a great conversation with his wife later when she told him she was proud of him. Dennis said since then his life has done a 180.
Dennis says this time he is doing more than just “not drinking”. He is exercising, working on being more present, attending AA and relearning his hobbies without alcohol. His goal is to be a better father, husband and person – and just a better version of himself.
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You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.
You can do this.
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by Kris Oyen | Nov 3, 2025 | Podcast
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Today we have Robyn. She is 49 years old from Columbia, SC and took her last drink on June 30th, 2020.
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[02:39] Thoughts from Paul:
We have all heard the word recovery, but what does that mean? And does it ever end? Paul recently came across a line he likes that says, “If substance use or drinking no longer interferes with your ability to live a productive and loving life, then recovery has been achieved.”
Using the logic of this line, Paul shares with us several ways that we can see if recovery has been achieved. Maybe you’ll have to (or get to) attend meetings or chats for the rest of your life or maybe your recovery has already been achieved. So now what?
A simple answer is don’t go back to drinking but in addition to that, sticking with the pack or community that helped you achieve recovery in the first place is a good start.
[07:54] Paul introduces Robyn:
Robyn is 49 and she lives in Columbia, SC with her husband, stepdaughter and two pit bulls. She is an office manager for a transportation company and enjoys reading, playing games and spending time with her family. Robyn was previously interviewed on episode 306.
Robyn grew up very shy and quiet and never really felt she fit in. The desire to rebel was building up and when she moved from Maine to South Carolina towards the end of high school, she viewed it as an opportunity to try new things including alcohol and other drugs.
After graduating high school, Robyn met someone and ended up getting married at the age of 18. She didn’t realize the issues he had, and it was her first exposure to an abusive relationship with an addict.
Fortunately, she was able to escape that relationship but jumped right into another one that she considers her first real relationship. Their drinking looked normal for their age but over time, it started to create cracks in their relationship, and they split up soon after moving away from friends and family.
Feeling abandoned again and not knowing anyone, Robyn started going out and meeting people at bars alone after work. The relationships she had were with others who partied like she did, which helped her ignore the addictions that were creeping in. Her codependent nature found her feeling stuck in another abusive relationship, but over time she was able to start pulling away and made attempts to regulate her drinking.
After their break-up, Robyn began a close friendship with a friend from work. With his influence and help, she began to explore her traumas and started to organically cut back on her drinking as he rarely drank. They eventually began a relationship, and Robyn happily assumed the role of stepmother to his two children. She still drank, but it looked very different, and “mommy wine culture” made it seem ok.
After the sudden death of Robyn’s mother, she took on the role of caretaker to her stepfather. This meant helping him with his grief and moving him closer to her. The drinking was beginning to become unmanageable. In September 2017, she discovered the upside of quitting drinking through a Google search that led her to Holly Whittaker and Annie Grace.
Upon discovering that going alcohol free could be a good thing, Robyn began to read a lot of quit lit and found podcasts. She told her husband about her struggles and felt a weight lift immediately. A few months later she joined Café RE and being part of a community was life changing. There were several stops and starts and she almost gave up quitting just before the announcement of the first Ditching the Booze course. That was the fuel Robyn needed to try again.
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by Kerri MacFarlane | Oct 15, 2025 | Alcohol Free, Blog, Helpful Tips, The first Year
Spiritual healing after quitting alcohol can be subtle, surprising, and deeply meaningful. It’s also the focus of Part 3 in our three-month series on the healing that takes place in your first year alcohol-free.
In Part 1 we explored physical healing, and in Part 2 we covered mental healing. Now, we’re shifting to something less tangible but equally powerful—your connection to self, others, and the world around you.
Let’s dig in.
🌱 Spiritual Healing After Quitting Alcohol: What May Happen in Week One
- For many, nothing profound happens immediately. That’s normal.
- But you might have had a moment before your last drink when time seemed to pause—a flicker of presence that let you really see where alcohol was taking you.
- That moment of clarity, however fleeting, may have been the start.
🍃 First Month of Spiritual Healing After Quitting Alcohol
- Your intuition might quietly peek out and ask, “Is it safe to return yet?”
- You may feel a pull toward nature—a walk in the woods, leaning on a tree, or just sitting still under the sky.
- You might experience a few moments of pure gratitude—not for things, but for being.
- Even something simple, like watching a bird or a breeze in the trees, might hold your attention longer than usual.
🌌 Spiritual Growth and Awareness in Months 1–6 Alcohol-Free
- Synchronicities start happening—those “too weird to be coincidence” moments.
- You begin to feel the emotions of others more deeply, maybe even animals or the earth itself.
- You start listening to your intuition and trusting it.
- Your connection to something greater than yourself—something that doesn’t come in a bottle—starts to take root.
- Authentic wisdom bubbles up. Sometimes you surprise yourself with what you say (and yes, you sound a bit like a fortune cookie).
- You begin to sense the universe has a sense of humor—and you’re in on the joke.
✨ Spiritual Healing in Year One of Sobriety: A New Connection to Life
- You start to notice the spaces between life’s events, not just the events themselves.
- You realize this journey isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about unbecoming what was never really you.
- Books like The Power of Now, The Dao, or The Artist’s Way might find their way into your life—often “accidentally.”
- You may pause before killing a spider, recognizing you’re both part of something shared.
- Decisions shift—you’re guided more by intuition than logic.
- Material things matter less. Moments matter more.
- You find yourself standing in awe of a canyon, a sunset, or a mountain—and feeling it all in a way you never used to.
- You begin seeking wisdom from ancestors, indigenous cultures, spiritual texts—things you once dismissed.
- You may start meditating or exploring your inner self.
- You discover flow states—where time disappears, and presence takes over.
🌊 Long-Term Spiritual Healing and Transformation in Sobriety
- You begin helping others heal, not by fixing, but by simply walking alongside them.
- You value silence and listening as much as speaking.
- Gratitude becomes your default mode—less about what’s missing, more about what already is.
- Creativity returns: music, poetry, painting, dancing—even spontaneous singing while cooking. (The Artist’s Way is a great guide here.)
- The dream world and waking world start to dance—you dream of an owl, then see one the next day.
- Your inner child reawakens—you feel playful, curious, light again.
- You feel less like a wave, more like the ocean. Life moves around you, but it no longer knocks you down.
- You stop labeling life events as “good” or “bad”—they just are, and somehow, they all fit.
- You begin to trust that everything is unfolding exactly as it should.
- And eventually, you realize:
What you’ve been searching for all along has been inside you the whole time.
🌟 The Healing Never Stops
So here we are—three parts, three layers of healing: physical, mental, and spiritual. This list? It’s just the beginning.
Sobriety doesn’t just take something away—it gives you back a connection you didn’t know you were missing. The healing deepens, the awareness expands, and the sense of peace grows.
Whether you’re a week in or years down the road—keep going. You’re not becoming someone new. You’re just remembering who you were all along.
📖 Missed a part? Catch up here:
👉 Part 1: Physical Healing After Quitting Alcohol
👉 Part 2: Mental Healing After Quitting Alcohol
#SpiritualHealingAfterQuittingAlcohol #AlcoholFreeLiving #SobrietyJourney #YearOneAF #EmotionalRecovery #SpiritualGrowth #SoberCurious #HealingInSobriety #RecoveryElevator #ThisIsAF #ConnectionIsTheOppositeOfAddiction
by Kris Oyen | Aug 18, 2025 | Podcast
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Today we have Amy. She is 41 years old and lives in Raleigh, NC. She took her last drink on December 12th, 2023.
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October 2026 we have a new retreat we have yet to do. This is an in-person alcohol-free ukulele retreat taking place in Guanacaste, Costa Rica. There will be ukulele instruction in the mornings and Spanish immersion courses in the afternoon.
[02:01] Thoughts from Paul:
Addiction is disconnecting with the self and your fellow humans. More sobriety is connection with the self, your fellow humans and more. “I” equals illness, “we” equals wellness.
Quitting drinking is a perfect circle. Your drinking crisis is an opportunity for someone to help. Phrased with 12 step verbiage, your first step is someone else’s 12th step. And when you find your footing, you can then assist someone else in their drinking crisis.
When the soul is hurting, the healing only happens when you’re not alone. And speaking of being alone, listeners, you are not alone. You are not the only one who struggles with alcohol. You, along with the other listeners, are seeking not only sobriety but seeking a deeper connection with all. Seeking answers that the bottle can’t deliver. You are in the right place.
[07:37] Paul introduces Amy:
Amy is 41 years old and lives in Raleigh, NC with her husband and a three-year-old son. Amy says she is a theater nerd and does improv comedy for fun.
Amy grew up in the southwest side of Chicago where she says her father was an alcoholic. She has memories of being a child at AA and Al-Anon meetings with her parents as well as memories of her father taking her to bars when they would tell her mother they were somewhere else.
Amy had her first drink when she was 15 while going to a concert with older teens. There was a bottle passed around the group and they all got drunk. Later that night she was found in the field of the concert venue by paramedics and taken to the hospital to have her stomach pumped.
She began to live a double life throughout high school and college. Amy saw that if she got good grades and joined all of the clubs, she would get praise and recognition. On the flip side she would drink very hard, and it wasn’t uncommon for her to get alcohol poisoning. Only after going to grad school in New York was Amy able to calm down a bit.
After COVID, Amy and her husband were doing IVF. Amy says she didn’t drink much at this point, but after having the baby, she suffered from postpartum anxiety which led her to daily drinking as a tool to cope with it. Over time she would begin to try moderation but limiting herself to two drinks was difficult and led to binges.
Amy’s last bender was at a holiday work party. The next day she found herself hungover and asked herself how her drinking was any better than her father’s was when she was younger. She knew that she may be heading down a dangerous path, so Amy decided to call the local AA helpline.
Amy began going to AA meetings and found a sponsor. She shares that her mother was a great support because of her experience with Al-Anon and she understood what Amy was going through.
One of the best things for Amy was burning the ships and gaining accountability. Even after 18 months, Amy admits there is white knuckling at times. She realizes that after 25 years of drinking, it doesn’t all heal within 18 months, but she is grateful to be where she is and says that since getting sober, she hasn’t missed a day of her son’s life.
Amy’s parting piece of guidance: everything that she was looking for while getting drunk can be found in recovery and she found it in Café RE and AA. Take what works and leave the rest.
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It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
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