by Kris Oyen | May 18, 2026 | Podcast
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Today we have Will. He is 32 years old, lives in Allenstown, NH and took his last drink on October 5th, 2019.
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Bozeman 2026 – August 12th-16th, 2026
[06:22] Paul introduces Will:
Will is 32 years old, lives in New Hampshire and works for the US Postal Service. Will enjoys writing, watching films, hiking and traveling.
Will grew up in a strict, religious household. From middle school through high school, Will did homeschooling which left him feeling like he didn’t really have any friends. By the time he was 15 or 16, he felt like he was missing out on a lot of life experiences. Will moved out of home with his brother when he turned 18 and says this is when his partying began as a way to make up for lost time.
Will began working in the food service industry and says it was his first taste of life outside of the religious bubble he had grown up in. While he had a level of social anxiety that kept him out of nightclubs and things of that nature, his brother enjoyed the nightlife and typically had alcohol in the house which Will would drink by himself.
Between the ages of 19 and 21, Will had found some friends he calls kindred spirits in that they were all creative and a little nerdy. He says his life was simple back then: go to work and then go hang out with his friends and play/watch video games while drinking.
At 22, Will got a DUI. This was not enough to make him feel like he needed to stop drinking but he thought he should try moderating. The financial struggles after the DUI were hard on Will and he was beginning to feel like he screwed his life up already. Between ages 22 and 24, Will references them as his rock bottom years. He was losing friends due to his behavior when he drank and felt haunted by social failures and missing opportunities.
Will tried going to therapy at 24 but didn’t address his drinking at all. The anxiety and depression were crippling, and he began having suicidal ideations. Will tried going to AA but struggled not to focus on the things he didn’t agree with. It was a TV series called Patrick Melrose that helped inspire Will to try something new. Will decided to try going to rehab.
Will started burning the ships with his family and the supervisory staff at his jobs so that he could plan to go to detox. He was there for nine days and says it was an amazing experience. He felt good about the decision to go and says he got a lot of out of it.
The cycle of starts and stops began, Will was trying to hide his drinking unsuccessfully. In this middle of this time, he had started dating someone and fell in love. They ended up moving in together. Will says the move was helpful for him, but he was still trying to drink and hide it from her.
The night before a planned trip to NYC, Will drank a couple of beers, and his girlfriend could smell it on him the next morning. They talked about it on the way to their Airbnb and Will spent his first day sober walking around the city. This experience left an impression on Will, and he recognized he could have fun sober and it made him crave more life experiences.
Will’s girlfriend was very supportive; he returned to AA meetings and got a new therapist that specialized in addiction. After several months, he began taking classes for recovery support. An internship led to a job and Will says it was life changing.
Since being in recovery, Will says that his depression is gone and he is better at holding himself accountable in his life. A lot has happened since he quit drinking, but he feels that all of the challenges have made him stronger.
Recovery Elevator
We took the elevator down.
You’ve got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
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by Kris Oyen | Apr 27, 2026 | Podcast
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Today we have Chris. He is 55 years old, from Madison, WI, and he took his last drink of alcohol on April 7th, 2015.
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Bozeman 2026 – August 12th-16th, 2026
[02:02] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul recently gave an opening talk at a fundraising gala for Yellowstone Alliance Adventures. This is the venue where the annual Bozeman retreat is held. He shared with the guests that he holds an annual sober retreat there but initially hadn’t rehearsed sharing that he was also sober. After a few moments of silence, mid-talk, Paul shared that he is also in recovery.
Paul says he knows he didn’t have to share that part, but when he did, it felt good to be up there in front of a crowd as his authentic self. In a world that can very fake and shallow, people are craving authenticity. Paul wants to go places where he can be himself.
Listeners, where can you show up as yourself in your life? What curtains, walls, or barriers are you hiding behind where you think people don’t want to see you? While it isn’t easy to show up as your authentic self, you will be rewarded by doing so.
We are here; we are whole.
[07:03] Paul introduces Chris:
Chris is 55 years old, works in IT by day, has three kids across two marriages and for fun he likes to make music, create games, and enjoys working on art.
Chris’ parents divorced when he was young due to his father’s drinking. Because there was so much going on at home, Chris says he focused much of his attention on school, sports, drama and choir to remain out of the house. He shares that he only drank one time in high school and got caught and ended up with some consequences.
Once in college, Chris had the freedom to drinking and other drugs pretty heavily right away. Early on, he got kicked out of a bar. During is freshman year, depression kicked in and he had a suicide attempt. Chris says drinking was never good for him. He never felt like it was solving any problems, but he was entranced by it.
Chris never really saw his drinking as a problem and surrounded himself by people that drank like he did. He enjoyed playing in bands and going to bars. Over the next 15 years he began to get away from the drugs but found his alcohol use increasing to compensate. By his mid-30’s, Chris says it was just him in his basement pretending to record music or write a book, but the reality was it was just him down there drinking.
At this point in time, Chris knew he had to try and control his drinking but was unable to do so. His second marriage was to someone who drank more than he did, which he assumed meant she wouldn’t hassle him about what he was doing.
Chris says there wasn’t a definitive moment that led him to quit, it was more a gradual decent. He lost his job because he wasn’t very present, he got a DUI and then got a divorce, all within six months’ time. He had court ordered sobriety and white knuckled it for a while but ultimately planned his relapse which led to him drinking all hours of the day and realizing alcohol wasn’t working anymore.
Chris reflects that this realization was a good thing. He tried a lot of different things in the beginning: AA, SMART recovery, podcasts, Quitlit – anything to fill the void he initially felt by not drinking. He was always willing to try different things and acknowledges that some things come and go. He joined Café RE for a songwriting course as he was approaching 10 years sober. Chris knows that staying strong in his recovery daily is what will keep him from relapsing.
Chris is grateful for his sobriety as he has navigated some difficult things over the last several years. He is glad he no longer uses alcohol as a crutch to make it through life. When times are tough, he leans more into more meetings or talking to friends.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down
You got to take the stairs back up
We can do this
I love you guys
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by Kris Oyen | Apr 6, 2026 | Podcast
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Today we have Lidia. She is 41 years old from Seattle, WA and she took her last drink of alcohol on August 31st, 2025.
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[01:40] Thoughts from Paul:
Some of you may have seen the title of today’s episode which is The Best Way to Feel Better. And that’s why you’re tuning in – to feel better. Maybe you’re in early sobriety and you’re not feeling good.
Paul shares with us how the best way of feeling better has taken place in his life. It comes when he may be having a bad day but has an interview with a new guest scheduled. There have been a few times where he was hoping that they wouldn’t show but has discovered that within the first few minutes of talking with them – he feels better.
The best way to feel better is to talk to another human being. Talk to someone you trust, maybe make an unplanned visit to a friend’s house. There is a reason they call it the 10,000-pound phone. Because the mind (or addiction) wants you alone. Just knowing this makes it easier to pick up the phone.
[06:09] Paul introduces Lidia:
Lidia is 41 years old, and lives outside of Seattle with her husband, their daughter and their dog. For fun, Lidia enjoys hiking, puppy yoga, her daughter’s Girl Scouts and the local community theater.
Lidia was born in Warsaw, Poland to young parents and says alcohol was a big part of the culture. She recalls having her first drink to celebrate her second or third birthday. When she was six, she and her mom immigrated to the US. Her mother worked a lot, which left Lidia to fend for herself a good bit.
During her teen years, Lidia would attend summer camps where it was easy to find older kids to buy her alcohol. The closest relationship she had was with
Throughout the teen years and college, Lidia says she was good at drinking and wore it as a badge of honor. After reaching adulthood, the drinking was a daily occurrence finding any excuse to drink whether at home or out with friends. Alcohol was correlated with fun at this time in her life.
Lidia met her husband when she was 27. They were both members of a rock-climbing community and became climbing partners. It wasn’t long after meeting that they ended up married and having their daughter. This was the first time that her relationship with alcohol was threatened because she felt they needed to be more responsible with a child.
Lidia used alcohol to cope with postpartum depression. The first red flag first showed when she realized she was drinking and driving with her daughter. Lidia didn’t know much about recovery or how to support herself through it, so she was full of shame and guilt. Eventually she told her husband and ended up enrolling in an IOP, attending AA and got sober for four years.
Because Lidia had quit for her daughter and not herself, she began to have resentments and felt like she wasn’t having any fun. Since she related fun with alcohol, she went back to drinking. It was then that others were watching her and she assured them she was fine. Lidia began trying to hide her drinking because she didn’t want to feel the judgment.
Last summer, Lidia was told by her husband that she would lose her family if she continued drinking like she was. They chose a quit date of September 1st and for motivation, Lidia registered for an RE trip to Costa Rica which was five months away.
The first 30 days went well for Lidia. The pink cloud arrived and she started feeling better physically. Month two found her crashing a bit and she began learning how to slow down. Going forward, Lidia is looking forward to spending more time with her daughter and the Girl Scout troop, getting involved in the local community theater and celebrating all of her wins, big and small.
Recovery Elevator
We took the elevator down; we’ve got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
I love you guys.
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by Kris Oyen | Jan 26, 2026 | Podcast
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Today we have Veronica. She is 52 years old, lives in Alabama and she had her last drink on May 1st, 2000.
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Upcoming Events with Recovery Elevator
February 21st – 28th we are traveling to Costa Rica. The event is full, but you can email info@recoveryelevator.com to get on the waiting list.
August 12th – 16th we will be having our annual Bozeman retreat. Registration opens on April 1st at 9am Eastern Time.
October 17th – 24th we will host our Sober Ukelele Retreat in Costa Rica
[03:07] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul wants to talk about the exploration he mentioned at the end of last week’s intro. When you first quit drinking, things kind of happen to you – sleep improves, your head clears and maybe a hobby resurfaces on it’s own. It’s passive.
But at some point, you realize that your not just not drinking anymore. You’re actually living. And you get to decide what that looks like. This is the intentional phase where you stop wandering and start exploring with purpose.
Now is the time to think about some things that you may have wanted to do but didn’t have the space for because alcohol consumed it all. Now you have the bandwidth to explore what you want to make space for in your life.
This week, Paul wants you to ask yourself, “what’s one thing I’ve been curious about that I haven’t made time for?” Just one small piece of unexplored territory.
Next week we will talk about what happens when you start building momentum but for now, just pick your direction. The expedition starts with a single step – now take it.
[7:40] Paul introduces Veronica:
Veronica is British but has lived in the US for about 15 years. She is married and has two sons. Veronica has worked as a psychotherapist and sobriety coach for many years, has written three books and has a strong online presence in the recovery space with Soberful (also the name of her most recent book).
Veronica started drinking when she was around age 13. She felt like it fixed the issues she had with being uncomfortable in her own skin. She says she was a binge drinker and began to use hallucinogenic drugs which impacted her negatively and triggered major anxiety for which she used alcohol to control.
Veronica was always looking for help for her anxiety and depression but never considered alcohol was contributing. When she moved to Florida, she met someone sober and it changed her outlook. Additionally, she was taking college courses in addiction counseling and after brief time of accidental sobriety, she began attending 12 step meetings to learn more about the people she planned to help.
Initially she didn’t identify with anyone at the meetings until someone spoke about fear. Veronica says this was her moment of clarity. Veronica feels that fear is the engine of an alcohol problem and it manifests anxiety and panic attacks in a lot of people.
Veronica went all in with getting a sponsor and doing the steps, becoming a therapist and began to work in a rehab. At 3 years sober, she hit an emotional rock bottom and discovered the work of emotional sobriety. She has discovered that this is 90% of the work of getting sober. Veronica acknowledges that working on emotional sobriety is a lifelong journey and changing our perceptions of things to overcome resentment is an important part of it.
Veronica Valli
Soberful
Veronica’s Instagram
Recovery Elevator
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We can do this.
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by Kris Oyen | Nov 10, 2025 | Podcast
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Today we have Dennis. He is 36 years old and lives near Vancouver, Canada. Dennis took his last drink on September 5th, 2025.
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There are some new alcohol-free options coming out. First is Wild AF created by Charlie Sheen and Luba Libations coming out of Wisconsin.
[03:20] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares with us an article about stress by Dr. Rebecca Harris
Most stress management advice gets it wrong. We’re often told to focus inward and practice self-care like bubble baths, meditation and getting a massage. While these activities aren’t harmful, they’re missing something critical.
When we experience stress, our bodies release a cocktail of hormones. Most people focus on cortisol and adrenaline, but there’s another key player: oxytocin. This is the connection chemical that is primed when we are stressed.
Dr. Harris says that 58% of people stress out more when trying to control their stress. She says when researching workplace wellness programs, all of them fail to reduce stress with the exception of those programs that encourage employees to do charity or volunteer work.
So, when you are feeling stressed, try finding a way to help someone else. Or a pet? Take a dog for a walk, or your neighbor’s dog. Maybe it’s the planet. Get a trash bag and walk up and down your road. Get on the phone with someone and don’t talk about your problem but ask them how their life is going.
The magic of an addiction is that it is trying to bring us back to our roots. When you start feeling the feels, start thinking not about how to make yourself feel better, but how you can make someone else feel better.
[10:38] Paul introduces Dennis:
Dennis is 36 years old and lives outside of Vancouver, Canada. He is married and they have two kids and two dogs. For work, Dennis is a millwright working in industrial mechanics.
Dennis grew up with an alcoholic father. When he was younger, he was turned off by alcohol due to what it did to his family, but around age 15 he tried drinking and says it was a problem for him from the beginning. Some early experiences found him in precarious situations,
Dennis met his wife when he was 19 and they drank together until they had kids. His wife was able to cut back while Dennis was not. This put some stress on the marriage over time with his wife trying to give him reality checks that drove him to try and take breaks. Those would last nine or so months and then Dennis would think that he could moderate, but that never lasted long before he was back where he was or worse.
On the evening of September 5th, Dennis was very drunk and behaving poorly. Upon waking the next morning, Dennis passed out and cut his cheek. Instead of going to the hospital, he went to his tee time and played the worst round of golf ever, he says. He was dwelling on the incident and his drinking, realizing that he could not continue living this way.
The first week without alcohol Dennis just tried to stay busy while listening to other people’s stories on the RE podcast. This helped him recognize that he couldn’t do it alone and he began to burn the ships. This included a talk with his oldest son who told Dennis they were proud of him for wanting to get help.
After the first week, Dennis attended his first AA meeting. For the first time he felt proud of his decision to quit. He had a great conversation with his wife later when she told him she was proud of him. Dennis said since then his life has done a 180.
Dennis says this time he is doing more than just “not drinking”. He is exercising, working on being more present, attending AA and relearning his hobbies without alcohol. His goal is to be a better father, husband and person – and just a better version of himself.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.
You can do this.
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