by Kris Oyen | Nov 30, 2020 | Podcast
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Jamie took her last drink April 16, 2019. With 485 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You
She is currently re-reading The Compound Effect. The general idea is that baby steps add up into large rewards. Change is hard. Gaining momentum on a decision is hard. This applies to our alcohol-free journey: turning down drinks, one at a time. Once we reframe the idea of this being a sacrifice and think of it as an opportunity instead, the trajectory changes. We must think of all the things we can add into our lives without alcohol. Odette makes a list of the things she has room for in her life now. Why don’t you make one too?
[7:00] Odette introduces Jamie
Jamie is 35 years old and lives on Long Island, NY. Her immediate family lives close and she lives with her 2 black cats. Jamie is a social worker. For fun she likes to run, go kayaking, reading, cooking and hanging out with friends. Being in nature is the best, it’s where she finds her higher power.
[9:57] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Jamie said she started drinking at the end of high school. In college her drinking seemed normal. She found there were hills and valleys with her drinking. When Jamie lost her mother at the age of 22 she remembers she was in a club in Greece and she identifies the synergy with that happening. The last 3-4 years her drinking escalated. She was blacking out and making poor choices. Looking back she can see the pattern of co-dependency.
[12:57] Did you notice after your mother passed that you used alcohol to deal with your grief?
Jamie said at first, she was so busy taking care of her father and making sure he was ok that alcohol was a secondary thought. But once she had some time away and time with her own feelings, she could see she was using alcohol the same as her mother, to numb down any emotions.
[18:05] Tell me about the first couple weeks of your journey?
Jamie said this was really the first time she honestly tried to get stop drinking. She had been living on the river of denial before this. Growing up her family didn’t express feelings, they drank or got angry. So, the first few weeks were new. She started a 12-step program and therapy. Jamie only knew 2 sober people at the time and she spoke to them a lot.
[23:49] What did you do initially when you had a craving?
Jamie said she didn’t really have a craving for the drink, but it was an emotional craving instead. She used a new found self-awareness to explore the feelings. She would pause and ask herself some questions about why she was feeling that way.
[28:18] After making the decision to not drinking, did you talk to your friends and family about it?
Jamie said she told people very quickly. She said the safe sentence “I’m not drinking right now”. After about a month, she started to see how this could be a lifestyle for her. 5-6 months in she began to share very openly on social media.
[30:48] What’s been the hardest part of this journey for you?
Jamie said feeling her feelings and not fighting them. Allowing the feelings to just be there.
[34:27] What’s your morning routine?
Wakes up at 6am, feeds cats, reads and then moves her body. For the last 81 days (at the time of recording) Jamie has been running every morning. New Fashioned Sobriety and their Zero Proof Run Club hosted and a streaker challenge that she completed. Initially it was 41 days, which she completed. And now her pledge to herself is to move her body daily. She also makes sure to meditate daily.
[37:01] Did you used to have a witching hour?
Jamie said right after work, 5-7pm when before she would be at happy hour and now she fills the time with new routines. A fun mocktail, some tea, go for a walk, walk with a friend.
[40:13] Rapid Fire Round
- What are you excited about right now?
Have her first sober healthy relationship.
- What books are you reading right now?
Good Morning, Destroyer of Men’s Souls: A Memoir of Women, Addiction, and Love
- What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had in this journey?
I can do almost anything sober that I did drunk.
- If you could talk to day 1 Jamie, what would you say?
Jamie you are a warrior, you are a force you have no idea what this is going to bring you. You can be a light for other people.
- What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Anything with chocolate or peanut butter in it and even together!
- What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?
Café RE, Podcasts- Recovery Elevator, Recovery Happy Hour, Seltzer Squad, yoga, walking, running, kayaking and This Naked Mind and Sober Curious.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give people thinking about ditching the booze?
You are a brave, gentle soul and I applaud you. I wish you so much fun on your journey. It’s about taking that pain and making it fun. Tell somebody.
You may have to say adios to booze…
You drank so much while living in your parents basement and you couldn’t make it upstairs to the bathroom, so you throw up in the washing machine.
Odette’s weekly challenge:
Think about your AF journey. How much have you been trying to hold onto things you think this journey will take from you? Is that realistic? Make a shift, start thinking about what you want to set out of this. About what you want to add to your life? Open your eyes, beauty is all around us. Choose you, stay sober, you’re also subscribing to abundance.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
- You can find more information about our events here.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – The birds are singing and when we are sober, we can actually hear them – I love you guys.”
by Kris Oyen | Dec 27, 2021 | Podcast
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Episode 358 – Don’t Forget to Sing Your Song
Today we have Randy. He is 43, from Indianapolis, and took his last drink on December 30, 2016.
Registration is now open for Restore which begins January 1,2022. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/
Highlights from Paul
This week’s tips from Paul include: 1) not everyone drinks, 2) sing, 3) give yourself a hug and say I love you.
There is a lot of uncertainty in the world and change is hard. Find your song, that melody in your soul that is uniquely you that you sing over and over. You are the master creator of your life. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
[9:27] Randy has been sober for nearly 5 years. He is married with 4 kids and loves animals and running.
Randy was on episode 129. Randy was in the restaurant business, and he was always surrounded by people who drank. Toward the end, the hangovers and anxiety began to take a toll on him.
Drinking was a reward for Randy. Today, Randy doesn’t have to think about drinking. He isn’t spending money on alcohol. Now he can afford season tickets to the Colt’s game. He doesn’t have to think about getting there or getting back, because he is sober.
Randy is now methodical vs living on instant gratification. He is more approachable and he loves giving service to others.
Initially watching football was really hard for Randy, because the sport was so engrained with alcohol. Now he enjoys games more than ever.
Kris’s Summary
Kris speaks to the term chosen family. Kris’ recovery family wants him to be successful and free. They take him at his best and his worst. They laugh together, cry together, dance and walk the path together. We need to open up, be vulnerable and let others love us until we learn to love ourselves. You can do this.
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide
- Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat.
- Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy.
- Develop a detailed craving game plan.
- FOMO to JOMO – Pick an upcoming event and sit it out.
- Select a Holiday Theme Song.
- Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy
- One minute of intense mindfulness
- Sticky Note – Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you’ll see it each day
- Have a fun escape plan
- Offer to do the dishes
- Study your why’s
- Rest
- Uno reverse card
- Remind yourself you are safe
- Play the tape forward
- Treat yourself to a gift
- Take 3 deep breaths
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
by Kris Oyen | Dec 20, 2021 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 357 – Practice Saying No
Today we have Jenn. She is 34, from Michigan, and took her last drink on April 10, 2020.
Registration is now open for Restore which begins January 1,2022. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/. AF Ukulele course starts 2/5/22 at 3 PM EST. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/ukulele/
Highlights from Paul
Paul talks about the parameters for success. There’s an unhealthy paradigm in the sobriety world that it’s all a bust if we drink once. While continuous sobriety is the ultimate goal, getting there is never pretty, and most likely is launched off a series of relapses or field research. If you are drinking less than you did last holiday season, that’s a huge improvement.
This week’s tips from Paul include: 1) say no, 2) practice saying no, 3) create your own pep talk.
Sometimes the desire to stop drinking only swirls in our thoughts. Don’t underestimate the power of thought. Our thoughts are powerful. They create our world. Immediately discard the thoughts that don’t align with your goals. Deconstruct them and become aware of thoughts that are not congruent with what you want and need in life. Use the thinking mind for creation and visualization. Visualize that you no longer drink. Repeat it, say it out loud and repeat it again. What you put in is what you get back. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
[12;43] Jenn took her last drink April 10, 2020. She has a husband, two children and loves hiking, being in nature and spending time with her family.
Jenn said from her first sip of alcohol she felt some inner peace. Her first black out was at age 14. She started off with a bang and got in plenty of trouble. She experienced some trauma and started to use alcohol as her coping mechanism. She had suicidal ideations and started cutting. She drank a 5th a night. Before she turned 21, she added cocaine.
She was a functioning alcoholic through her twenties and early thirties. In her thirties, her drinking took on a dark shift. She was suicidal and she knew that she had to save herself and get some help. Jenn had to be brutally honest with herself. She was asking the wrong people for help. Her internal and external worlds were completely opposed.
Jenn had multiple attempts at sobriety. She worked with a therapist for two years and real change began. The accountability of Café RE reinforced her commitment to sobriety. She is now a recovery coach.
Odette’s Summary
Odette reminds us that change starts with us. If you are waiting for things to change, for people to change, for life to change, you may be waiting for a long time. Recovery is our responsibility. Everything that we wish to see in others needs to start with us. Be the person you wish everyone around you was and see how life can change.
“I really think the secret to being loved is to love. And the secret to being interesting is being interested. And the secret to having a friend is being a friend.”
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide
- Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat.
- Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy.
- Develop a detailed craving game plan.
- FOMO to JOMO – Pick an upcoming event and sit it out.
- Select a Holiday Theme Song.
- Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy
- One minute of intense mindfulness
- Sticky Note – Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you’ll see it each day
- Have a fun escape plan
- Offer to do the dishes
- Study your why’s
- Rest
- Uno reverse card
- Remind yourself you are safe
- Play the tape forward
- Treat yourself to a gift
- Take 3 deep breaths
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
by Kerri MacFarlane | Dec 16, 2021 | Blog, Early Sobriety, Expectations, Helpful Tips
Are you thinking about giving up alcohol? What is stopping you?
Maybe you know that you have a problem with alcohol, that it is no longer serving you, it’s causing wreckage throughout your life…but the thought of quitting makes you nervous and scared?
Maybe you are sober curious. Alcohol hasn’t really caused any problems in your life but you still would like to see what living a life free from it would be like.
And maybe you’re hesitant because of some of the myths, misconceptions and rumors floating around out there about what living a life without alcohol is like. Societal stigmas exist everywhere. And although there have been great strides and growth in the AF (alcohol free) movement in recent years it is often the fear of feeling stigmatized, labeled or judged that stops people from seeking out a life free from alcohol.
Don’t fall victim to the many myths about sobriety. Let’s look at some of them.
1. YOU HAVE TO LABEL YOURSELF AN ALCOHOLIC
FALSE 👎🏼 👎🏼.
First of all, what is an alcoholic? It is an outdated term that the medical and scientific communities don’t even use anymore. Instead it’s called alcohol use disorder (AUD). AUD can be diagnosed as mild, moderate or severe…and the bar for mild AUD is pretty low. Which makes it not surprising to me that a large chunk of my friends and family exhibit it.
Second of all, you don’t have to label yourself as anything…labels are for file folders.
Personally I am neutral when it comes to calling myself an alcoholic. It doesn’t bother me. I can take it or leave it. But the word carries so much stigma and people have such a specific image in their head when they hear it…that it turns people away from getting help.
Before I get hate mail from the ‘alcoholics’ out there let me continue. I know that for some people identifying as an alcoholic is an important part of your sobriety…and there is nothing wrong with that! GO TEAM ALCOHOLICS! 📣
2. YOU “HAVE” TO GO TO AA
FALSE 👎🏼 👎🏼.
You also don’t HAVE to go to AA…but it’s perfectly fine if you do! When I first decided to get sober…many moons ago…AA is the first place I went. I think that is how it was for a lot of people, because there was a time that AA was all that was out there.
AA is not part of my program currently, but it was as recent as a couple years ago. I even held a service position for an entire year!
What matters most is finding what works for and is the best fit for you. As long as it is keeping you sober, that is all that matters.
3. IF YOU ARE SOBER, OR CHOOSING TO LIVE A LIFE WITHOUT ALCOHOL, YOU MUST HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM.
FALSE 👎🏼 👎🏼.
You don’t have to have a severe drinking problem to want sobriety. You don’t have to have a drinking problem at all.
You can just want to feel better. Maybe you’ve decided that alcohol isn’t bringing anything positive into your life so you are just going to remove it from your life. It doesn’t have to be awful to want better.
Anyone, anywhere, with any kind of drinking habit can make the decision to stop drinking…there is no prerequisite for how bad your drinking has to get first.
4. YOU HAVE TO HIT ROCK-BOTTOM TO GET SOBER
FALSE 👎🏼 👎🏼.
You don’t have to hit rock bottom to want sobriety. You don’t have to be suffering from the repercussions from drinking to want sobriety. You don’t have to have lost everything…the job, the money, the house, the friends, the family… to want sobriety.
And can you really even say what your rock bottom would be? Everyone’s rock bottom doesn’t look the same.
5. SOBER LIFE IS BORING
FALSE 👎🏼 👎🏼.
This preconceived notion could not be further from the truth. Alcohol numbs our senses and feelings. And guess what… when you numb the bad, you also numb the good.
Remove the alcohol and discover how much more time you have, how much more money you have. Discover and rediscover hobbies and interests you once had. You will discover your FOMO turn into JOMO.
If you find that sober life is boring I hate to say it…your life is boring. Make some changes. Sobriety provides a greater amount of opportunities for freedom and fun than a bottle of booze could ever offer.
It’s not a no to alcohol…but yes to a better life. Sobriety…there is probably no healthier, kinder, loving thing you could do for yourself. ❤️
Until next time, be well.
Kerri Mac 🤟
by Kris Oyen | Dec 13, 2021 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 356 – Play the Tape Forward
Today we have Ashley. She is 35 from Orange County, CA, and took her last drink on January 7, 2006.
Registration is now open for Restore, which begins January 1, 2022. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/
Café RE: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/
Highlights from Paul
Paul encourages you to check in with yourself about your feelings about your AF journey. There are more recovery modalities than ever. Keep searching for the one that works for you. This week’s tips are: Play the tape forward. Treat yourself to a gift. Take three deep breaths into the lower lobes of the lung.
Drinking served a purpose for you initially. Alcohol suppresses your inner turmoil: It gives you a sense of calm. As you continue to suppress those voices, they grow louder, and you must drink more to make those feelings go away. If you continue to override your internal guidance system, you live life truly blind, and nothing of significance takes place. When do the miracles of sobriety occur? Day 1, day 500? It’s up to you to find out. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
[12:45] Ashley took her last drink on January 7, 2006. She is married, has twin boys, and in 2010 co-founded an SV start-up that offers online outpatient addiction treatment. She has a podcast called the courage to change. https://www.lionrock.life/couragetochangepodcast She is finishing her MBA, loves yoga, the outdoors, reading and comedy. Since she got sober at 19, she has been revisiting fun at her current stage of life.
Ashley’s first drink was a beer she stole from her parents’ fridge, and it took her a week to finish it. She felt like she was born with her skin too tight and always believed she was too much. She tried to make herself into what others wanted her to be.
Ashley hired alcohol and drugs to do a job for her to make her feel okay and want to be on the planet. By age 14, she was addicted to cocaine. Through a boyfriend, she got addicted to heroin. She was sent to several lockdown programs that were popular in early 2000. She couldn’t stay sober in treatment. She would create disasters, leave, and change treatment centers. She eventually left treatment and decided to drink instead of doing drugs.
In 2006 she started going to AA meetings, listening, and letting go of her old ideas, which was hard to do. Her life became different when she let others help her and did what they said. She went to college, had relationships, and started a company.
Instagram: @sobermomsquad ; https://www.lionrockrecovery.com/
Ashley went to meetings four days a week in early sobriety and participated in the fellowship. Ashley did not heal her trauma in 12-step; therapy was essential for Ashley to do the work. A young people’s AA group in So CA allowed her to meet some great young people, and they partied without the alcohol. She has been reinventing her recovery since having children.
Odette’s Summary
Where do I feel safe enough to be my best calm self?
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide
- Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat.
- Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy.
- Develop a detailed craving game plan.
- FOMO to JOMO – Pick an upcoming event and sit it out.
- Select a Holiday Theme Song.
- Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy
- One minute of intense MINDFULNESS
- Sticky Note – Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you’ll see it each day
- Have a fun escape plan
- Offer to do the dishes
- Study your why’s
- Play the tape forward
- Buy yourself a gift
- Take three deep breaths
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
