by Kris Oyen | Dec 6, 2021 | Podcast
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Episode 355 – the Uno reverse card.
Today we have Rocio. She is 42, from Washington state, and took her last drink on August 31, 2020.
Registration is now open for Restore which begins January 1,2022. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/
Highlights from Paul
Paul reminds you if you drank over Thanksgiving or your sobriety plans aren’t going so hot, don’t kick the bucket to January or to the next holiday season.
This week’s tips from Paul include: 1) rest, 2) Uno reverse card – remember that most criticisms and judgments have nothing to do with you, 3) remind yourself that you are physically safe. Much of our addiction is tied to an overactive nervous system that prevents us from departing from the fight or flight emotions.
When we’re drinking, there is no time left to create, to explore, to discover, to get to know, or reflect upon. Instead, we are picking up the pieces, sometimes trying to put the pieces together from the night before. Much of this behavior is the body seeking safety and refuge from situations that may have occurred decades ago. Relax and let your inner guidance take over. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
[11:29] Rocio took her last drink August 31, 2020. Rocio is married with three sons and lives in Edmonds, WA. Rocio had an abusive marriage and had the courage to leave her marriage. Her drinking wasn’t a huge issue until the last 6 years. As her kids started to grow, she became part of the mommy wine culture and alcohol was part of everything from sports events to PTA meetings and family gatherings.
She noticed she was starting to plan around events. Her husband was concerned, and always approached her with an attitude of help. Rocio didn’t have a turn-off switch and she had some self-sabotaging characteristics. She described that hamster wheel of parenthood, work, and fun. Alcohol helped her numb.
Breaking her hip at a bike race became a turning point. She didn’t stop drinking but had to learn to walk again and the recovery took a year. Rocio was sober curious and did several dry January’s. During a family vacation, she had some great insights about the role alcohol played in her family including some questions from her son. About six months into sobriety, she started to get real clarity on her relationships and how she thinks. Connection, accountability, quit lit, boundaries and self-care were great tools. Her marriage is amazing, and she has great support.
Odette’s Summary
Odette reminds us to protect our energy during the holiday season. Give yourself permission to take care of you.
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide
- Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat.
- Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy.
- Develop a detailed craving game plan.
- FOMO to JOMO – Pick an upcoming event and sit it out.
- Select a Holiday Theme Song.
- Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy
- One minute of intense mindfulness
- Sticky Note – Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you’ll see it each day
- Have a fun escape plan
- Offer to do the dishes
- Study your why’s
- Rest
- Uno reverse card
- Remind yourself you are safe
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
by Kris Oyen | Nov 29, 2021 | Podcast
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Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 354
Today we have Cordell. He is 38, from North Dakota, and took his last drink on December 6, 2017.
Highlights from Odette
Odette has some helpful hints to contribute to Paul’s Holiday Survival Guide. Odette suggests 1) have a fun escape plan, 2) offer to do the dishes, 3) dig into your arsenal of why’s.
Beyond tips, Odette suggests really focusing on effective communications. Set expectations in advance, particularly with those closest to you so they understand you are committed to staying sober, even if it means leaving early. You don’t have to burn the ships either, you can reference plans early the next day. Odette says having a puppy is a great reason to leave a party early.
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
[6:05] Cordell took his last drink December 6, 2017. He is 38 and has a wife and 3 kids. He spends lots of time chasing kids and he works in a coal mine. Sobriety is the best choice he ever made.
Cordell was raised in a Christian family with lots of family gatherings in a small town with lots of alcohol. Taking a sip of his parents’ drink was common. In high school, alcohol was a given, part of the norm. Cordell didn’t drink to have fun; he drank to get wasted. He started working as a welder and drinking was part of the routine.
At 22 he decided he needed help. He smoked pot and took other drugs, and it had a spiraling effect. He went to a 30-day Intensive Outpatient program. He was sober for almost a year and decided he had it under control. He would drink 1-2 beers at a party and “drink responsibly”.
At 24, his girlfriend was pregnant. He wasn’t ready to be a father and his drinking really took off. He lost his job, his friends, his car and was at rock bottom. He met his son for the first time when he was 3 months old. Meeting his son encouraged him to clean up his act a bit. He quit taking drugs but continued to drink. He moved in with his girlfriend, got a job and maintained as a functioning alcoholic. His daughter was born two years later. Almost immediately after his daughter was born, his girlfriend was pregnant again.
Cordell was often put in jail for fighting with his girlfriend. He eventually got a job at the coal mine. He and his girlfriend got married. His drinking slowed, but extra income became an opportunity to start taking drugs again. He was fired after a random drug screen. His drinking and using escalated and his wife kicked him out. He moved in with a buddy who was also drinking and drugging.
Ultimately, he went to rehab. The withdrawal was hell, but he found new tools to have fun, and started to surround himself with healthy people. Now he coaches wrestling, volleyball and is actively engaged with his kids. He talks to his sponsor daily and he has learned how to apologize.
Kris’s Summary
Kris reminds us our path isn’t linear. He speaks about binging on feelings and emotions. He is physically and emotionally exhausted. Kris encourages us to shift our thinking an reframe recovery as a gift. We learn how to feel and sit with our feelings, know they aren’t permanent and move forward. Stick with it!
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide
- Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat.
- Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy.
- Develop a detailed craving game plan.
- FOMO to JOMO – Pick an upcoming event and sit it out.
- Select a Holiday Theme Song.
- Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy
- One minute of intense MINDFULNESS
- Sticky Note – Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you’ll see it each day
- Have a fun escape plan
- Offer to do the dishes
- Study your why’s
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
by Kris Oyen | Nov 22, 2021 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 353 – It’s a Week to be Thankful
Today we have Jan. She is from Connecticut and took her last drink on February 1, 2021.
- Restore – intensive on-online dry January 15 session course. Registration opens 12/1/21.
- Costa Rica starts January 15. Email kate@recoveryelevator.com to get on waiting list.
- AF Sober Ukulele (8 week) course starts 2/5/2022. Registration opens January 7th.
- Denver Retreat (3/31 – 4/2) Register: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/denver/
Café RE donated $15,094.73 to organizations and non-profits geared towards helping those affected by addiction.
Highlights from Paul
Paul is encouraging listeners to develop a game plan for the holidays. Last week he encouraged us to: 1) create a detailed craving plan, 2) turn FOMO into JOMO by saying no and, 3) pick a holiday theme song.
Paul shares that when we make the decision to not drink, an unbelievable amount of energy is released. This is less about staying away from alcohol and more about creating a life that doesn’t require alcohol. When we’re drinking there is no space mentally for this new life.
This week Paul encourages us to: 1) select a Thanksgiving AF beverage, 2) schedule one minute of intense mindfulness and, 3) sticky note – write a reminder, goal or affirmation and put it somewhere you can see it.
Remember what the holiday is all about, being grateful for all the gifts we have including the adversity that inspired us to go alcohol free. Paul’s pep talks can be found here: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
[14:34] Jan took her last drink 2/1/2021. She is 71 years old and has a son. She is a massage therapist, health coach, dog sitter and loves hiking, audiobooks, and photography.
Jan started drinking went she went to school overseas in Italy. It was part of the culture. She drank and experimented with drugs through college. She had serious health consequences because of her drinking. She worked at several resorts and met her husband who loved to drink. Jan went to AA and stayed sober for four years. She returned to drinking for twenty years.
She struggled with mental health issues, anxiety, and panic attacks. She spent a lot of time in psychiatric hospitals and was encouraged not to drink. Jan went to 4 or 5 different treatment centers. The tipping point came when her son pushed her to quit. Jan pretended to take Antabuse in front of her son and maintaining the facade was exhausting. A friend of her son’s recommended Café RE; the connection she found within Café RE was very helpful.
Jan loves “We are the Luckiest” by Laura McKowen and recalls hearing, “find a room that works and stick with it,” and that resonated for her. She steers clear of situations where people are drinking alcohol. The obsession has lifted.
Odette’s Summary
Odette reflects on Café Re’s recent regionals event. The theme was acceptance. Odette reads a beautiful passage from Melody Beattie about acceptance. https://melodybeattie.com/acceptance-2/
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Holiday 2021 AF Strategy Guide
- Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat.
- Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy.
- Develop a detailed craving game plan.
- FOMO to JOMO – Pick an upcoming event and sit it out.
- Select a Holiday Theme Song.
- Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy
- One minute of intense MINDFULNESS
- Sticky Note – Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you’ll see it each day
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
by Kris Oyen | Nov 15, 2021 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 352 – Allow the deeper you to emerge
Today we have Kendall. He is 30, from Texas, and took his last drink on March 13, 2021.
Paul shares some personal insights on the growth of Recovery Elevator.
Highlights from Paul
Paul resumes the discussion about having a game plan for the holidays. He reminds us that alcohol can have catastrophic effects.
A recap from last week: 1) Accountability, 2) Stock up on AF beverages, 3) Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy. Paul introduces three additional concepts: 1) Develop a cravings plan and get specific, 2) JOMO – find something this holiday season to say “no” to and savor the new boundary, 3) Pick your holiday theme song.
When you begin the journey in a life without alcohol, an incredible thing begins to take place. You get to experience a transformation that allows the deeper you to emerge. You get to know yourself, your true and authentic self, your needs, wants, desires and more. Paul encourages us to listen to the inner voice and the guidance it provides to tell us what we need, when we need it and how to get it. Our inner voice will help us to fully live a human life with all its ups and downs. When we are true to our authentic selves, we get to embrace the full palette of human emotions, we learn to stand up for ourselves and learn to create a life that no longer involves alcohol.
Listen to the pep talk segment here: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
[10:11] Kendall took his last drink 3/13/2021. He is 30 years old and has a young daughter and enjoys skate boarding. Kendall started drinking at age 14. He smoked, drank, and hung out with his friends. He didn’t drink frequently, but every time he did, he got very drunk.
Kendall’s sober journey began NYE 2019 when he was going through his divorce. He didn’t want to be “that guy” who drowned himself in alcohol. He thought he was healed at 50 days. He was out of control. His drinking escalated dramatically. He would quit for a day, but he was having fun. At some point he reflected on his behavior. His ex-wife sent him pictures of empty bottles she found in the house. Kendall realized he was resentful at his wife for not letting him drink the way he wanted to. Kendall hid his drinking. He used it as an outlet to escape his depression.
Odette found Kendall through his participation in the Café RE roll call. She watched him start to count days. In April 2020, Kendall found RE. He was in lockdown and still drinking daily. Kendall connected with Paul’s energy on the RE podcast. He tricked himself through several day ones and eventually he hit a day 3, then a day 7, then a day 27. He used the term, “field research” as a pass to drink. Publicly posting on his social media helped him gain accountability and receive love.
Kendall’s skating friends are incredibly supportive of his sobriety. They have come to his house when he was having cravings. Now Kendall is more emotionally aware. Kendall’s cravings are nostalgia cravings. His slip-ups have created a strong foundation for him to stay sober. Dating is hard because everybody wants to meet for a drink. He was falling apart one day, and he got support from his community and they helped him through.
Odette’s Summary
If you are on the struggle bus right now, hold on! Bad days and low emotions are part of the journey. Just when you are completely overwhelmed and spiraling, you will have a normal day. Emotions do level out and the intensity dissipates. Hold on! Know that you will turn a corner soon. Reach out for help. Slow and steady wins the race.
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events Emo
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
by Kris Oyen | Oct 18, 2021 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 348 – We don’t plug in.
Today we have Kerry. She is 31, from Philadelphia, and took her last drink on January 2,2021.
Recovery Elevator is going to be Denver Colorado at the Hilton Garden inn at Union Station. New Dates: March 31 – April 2. Register: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/denver/
Paul will be teaching a ukulele 101 course in February 2022. https://recoveryelevator.com/events
Highlights from Paul
Humans don’t plug in like a phone with a charger, however we do recharge. In the 21st century we are pulled in many different directions. Addictions are adaptive behaviors that manifest in unhealthy, stressful environments, especially when we are running on empty.
Paul offers some practical ways for us to recharge including go barefoot on the earth/grass, eat live foods 2x a day, eat less frequently, sleep more, nap, read a good book, socialize with other sober people, get out in nature, do something that brings you joy, and JOMO (joy of missing out) – skip those stressful events. Recharging takes practice. Remind yourself that it is a gift you are giving yourself.
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
[11:30] Odette welcomes Kerry
Kerry took her last drink January 2, 2021. She is a registered dietician, is married and has two cats. Her side hustle includes several books and mocktails. See: https://thesoberdietitians.com/ Instagram:thesoberdieticians
Kerry didn’t start drinking until college. She did drink wine. She was given an opportunity to write a mocktail book with her friend, Diana for pregnant women. As with many, her drinking increased in 2020. She was drinking daily.
Kerry read a lot about the rise of alcohol use during the pandemic. She and her friend, Diana were writing their 2nd book and began linking alcohol and health. Kerry started looking at her own relationship with alcohol. She completed a 30-day AF challenge. She returned to drinking but drank mindfully. She and Diana completed another 30-day challenge together. They explored several AF options. Diana quit drinking entirely and Kerry’s drinking diminished. Kerry celebrated a friend’s engagement with champagne and that was her last drink. She learned so much about alcohol as an author and realized she didn’t need alcohol anymore.
Kerry didn’t love the feeling that came with drinking alcohol. She realized that she couldn’t accomplish as much when she was hungover. She also realized how prevalent alcohol is on TV or in movies. We normalize problematic drinking.
She and her husband have enjoyed taking the sober curious journey together. She misses red wine and pumpkin beer and hasn’t found a great AF alternative to either yet. She is tempted to return to drinking, but her current plan is to stay AF. She served AF options including a signature mocktail at her wedding.
Kerry has become aware that ethanol is a carcinogen and has become more mindful about the ramifications of drinking while pregnant. She is concerned that we promote red wine as being heart healthy when we can’t measure how much of the antioxidants enter the body. She has made great connections with the sober and sober curious people on social media.
Odette’s Summary
Odette has been sober for nearly three years. She recognizes she is imposing a fair number of expectations on herself specific to what her recovery should look like. She encourages us not to beat ourselves up. Use the tools that are working for you.
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
