by Kris Oyen | Aug 25, 2025 | Podcast
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Today we have Justin. He is 40 years old and lives in Northern Ontario. He took his last drink on August 20th, 2023.
This episode brought to you by:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored
Café RE – the social app for sober people
[04:03] Thoughts from Paul:
In our question for sobriety, we often ask ourselves why the drinking? Why can’t I stop? What’s the problem here?
Paul shares his experience with the 12 Steps of AA, more specifically, step 4 where you list all of your resentments. He filled an entire notebook for his fourth step and after reading this out loud to his sponsor, it became clear to him that he was at least 50% of every problem that he encountered or had been part of. The fourth step showed him the patterns, and the data was clear – he was the problem. The same is true for all of us.
It turns out, in a non-shaming way, you are the problem, and you are not the solution. This should be empowering because if you are the problem, you’re the only thing you can control. The solution is not a one and done thing. The big one here is to burn the ships and to start building community.
We used alcohol to numb the pains of living in a super challenging world, and the solution is that we have to find a better way to respond to the world and we have to come together to make this happen.
[08:39] Paul introduces Justin:
Justin is from Northern Ontario, has been married for 14 years and they have two dogs and cat. Formerly an electrician, Justin is now a part-time day trader. He enjoys hiking, yoga and meditation. Justin and his wife Danielle quit drinking together just over two years ago.
Justin had his first drink at age 15 with some friends. He didn’t see the point in drinking at first but was happy to have friends to drink with. Over time he not only enjoyed spending time with friends he also began to enjoy the drinking too.
At 18, Justin had a job with a sound and lighting company, and they would do a lot of concerts. He reflects that the amount of booze that was around and available to him for free was insane. Within the next two years he developed a habit of drinking 10 to 20 beers a day. In addition to the drinking, Justin had developed an addiction to harder drugs.
When Justin was around age 23, he quit the job and doing hard drugs but used alcohol to help him. This contributed to his intake increasing and he was still drinking daily. Because he wasn’t doing hard drugs anymore, he thought it was ok, and he was living clean. After Justin’s third DUI charge in 2015, he begins to realize that he might have a problem. He quit for five days and decided he didn’t have a problem, so he went back to drinking.
Living in a small town where many people drank more than them, Justin and Danielle had the illusion that they “weren’t that bad”. They enjoyed drinking together most of the time, but when they began fighting more often, they acknowledged that there might be an issue. They began trying moderation techniques, but eventually knew they just needed to stop altogether.
They drank one last time after losing their horse and Justin says he had the worst hangover the next day. They both had already been listening to the RE podcast and had joined Café RE. Justin is grateful to being doing this with his partner and they find strength in one another.
Justin was just diagnosed with a brain tumor, so they are planning a big move back to Southern Ontario to be closer to family. Being sober for these life changes is a gift, Justin says. When asked what his mantra has been for the last few months Justin says “go with the flow, keep on truckin’, be like water. You can’t fight life. Life is just going to push you as it pushes you and generally, you’ll get what you need”.
Justin’s parting piece of guidance: the only way out is through. You gotta go through it to move out of it.
Recovery Elevator
We took the elevator down. We gotta take the stairs back up.
I love you guys.
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by Kris Oyen | Aug 4, 2025 | Podcast
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Today we have Lori. She is 58 years old from Vancouver, Canada. She took her last drink on February 21st, 2024.
This episode brought to you by:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored
Café RE – the social app for sober people
[03:11] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares that his second book, Dolce Vita, is currently in the editing process and should be out by November this year. This was also the name of the bar he owned Spain when he was in his 20’s. The name is Italian for “the good life” which Paul once thought he could find at the bottom of a bottle. He began to notice that his Dolce Vita had an expiration date that would get shorter and shorter over time.
The thing Paul thought was delivering the dolce vita was slowly and methodically destroying any chance of having one. It wasn’t until he finally ditched the booze that the good life actually showed up. He learned that the sweetness wasn’t in escaping life, it was finally showing up for it.
The good life is right here in front of us all, right here in this moment, as long as we stay away from a drink today.
[09:19] Paul introduces Lori:
Lori is 58 years old and lives in the suburbs of Vancouver, Canada. She has been married for 37 years, and they have two grown children and one grandchild. Lori has been a realtor for 35 years and for fun she enjoys golf and physical fitness.
Lori shares that she had a great childhood, but her mother was an alcoholic, and it affected her negatively throughout the years. In high school, Lori aspired to be an actress and craved attention. Having an already outgoing personality, it just got bigger when she was drinking and garnered more attention.
Lori had a lot of resentments towards her mother over the years and admits she treated her poorly. They did not make amends before her mother passed, and Lori says that is when her drinking started ramping up. On the outside, everything was going well with her career and her kids, but the weekends revolved around drinking.
Some mornings Lori would wake up depressed, regretful of her actions the night before and be plagued with the “not again” feelings. Lori and her husband would discuss cutting back on drinking and she acknowledges that he only drank as much as he did because of her.
In 2022 Lori was able to quit drinking for 77 days with the help of This Naked Mind and participated in two 30-day alcohol experiments. Then something negative happened and Lori found herself reaching for a glass of wine. Before long she was drinking at any time of day, hiding alcohol in her sock drawer and sneaking shots of moonshine.
After a weekend trip with some friends where Lori could not get the happy buzz that she was looking for from the alcohol, she knew that something had to change. She joined the RE Ukelele course and decided to stick around. With the help and encouragement of some fellow members, she started to believe that maybe she could be alcohol-free.
Lori began going to a lot of chats with Café RE, first with the camera off just taking notes. She began to participate by asking questions and listening. The community has helped Lori find her mantra to hit the pillow sober every night. The first 30 days felt like the calendar was moving backwards, but she kept going.
Lori still stays social with her friends but has recently been feeling like she is at a crossroads. Some events that used to be fun no longer are and she is feeling a shift. The RE community means a lot to her and she is currently seeking more sober connections local to her.
Some of the bright lights in sobriety for Lori are the ability to be heard, being reliable, and she now feels better physically as well as mentally.
Lori’s parting piece of guidance: please decide your “whys” If the cons outweigh the pros, you need to take alcohol out of your life.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
I love you guys.
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by Paul Churchill | Jul 14, 2025
October 17th - 24th 2026 Registration OPENS Monday, March 9, 2026 Sober Ukulele Retreat Costa Rica 2026 Strum, Speak Spanish & Soak Up Paradise – Alcohol-FreeOctober 17-24, 2026 | Venado, Costa Rica | Limited to 20 Travelers Ready to Trade Your Hangover for...
by Kris Oyen | Jun 9, 2025 | Podcast
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Today we have Kimmy. She is 34 years old from Montrose, Colorado and took her last drink on April 3rd, 2017.
This episode brought to you by Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Café RE – THE social app for sober people
Here are some upcoming events at RE:
Bozeman Retreat from August 6th-20th, 2025
Peru in October (registration closed)
Dry January 2026
Ukelele Course in February 2026
Costa Rica in February 2026
AF Songwriting Course in March 2026
[04:12] Thoughts from Paul:
A few weeks ago, Paul did an intro titled “How to Let Go” and then told us that had no idea how to let go. Since that episode, he has started looking at this from another angle.
Paul shares that there was a time in his life that he would drink over things that he was unable to let go of. He says that progress has not been in letting things go, but it has been in his reactions to events and happenings in life.
When drinking everything was a knee jerk reaction with no space between the stimulus and the response. Recovery has taught him how to pause, to wait, to gather his thoughts before responding to an event or trigger.
One strategy with this is to not add a good or bad label to whatever happens in life. What seems like an unfortunate life event now may later turn out to be a great thing. Our reactions to life in general are the key to letting go. If we lean into the space between stimulus and response, and remain neutral to all of life’s unfolding, there will be less that needs to be let go of.
[08:59] Paul introduces Kimmy:
Kimmy grew up Big Fork, Montana and grew up riding horses and competing in barrel racing and rodeos. She says overall she had a good childhood.
Kimmy says that she had her first drink when she was 17 and feels that drinking was a problem for her right from the start. Several events that happened in her teens drove Kimmy to use alcohol to cope with her feelings around them. She would take shots of her mom’s liquor and then drive 30 minutes to school already drunk.
After leaving college, a friend of Kimmy’s said she was moving to Telluride for ski season. Kimmy went with her and while the friend left after the season was over, Kimmy stayed because she enjoyed it there.
After having multiple rock bottom moments, Kimmy tried different techniques to quit drinking or moderate. They all backfired, she says. Eventually she turned to her faith in a moment of surrender. She didn’t quit drinking instantly, but over time grew to see that alcohol was no longer doing anything for her.
Kimmy took her last drink at the end of the ski season in 2017. It was one beer, and she isn’t even sure she finished it. She was able to quit and after nine months told her father, who also drinks, and he was so proud of her she just wanted to keep going.
Kimmy says working has been a big part of her recovery as she currently has four jobs. She stays close to her faith and although she doesn’t attend church, she reads her bible frequently. Kimmy has goals now and shares that she didn’t really have any after getting derailed by some events in her teenage years and turning to alcohol. It has taken time, but Kimmy is getting back to riding and competing and sees this current year of sobriety as a year of redemption as she looks forward to improving in these endeavors.
Recovery Elevator
It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
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by Kris Oyen | May 5, 2025 | Podcast
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Today we have Christopher. He is 27 years old from Melbourne, Australia and he took his last drink on July 13th, 2019.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
On October 4th-15th, we are going to Peru! There are still three spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley. Included in this journey are hiking the Inca Trail and a service project with Peruvian Hearts.
[02:38] Thoughts from Paul:
Today Paul presents the third of a three-part series where he covers the healing one may expect in the first year away from alcohol. This week he covers the spiritual (not necessarily religious) component of healing and what can generally be expected over the course of the first year away from alcohol.
Spiritual growth isn’t necessarily linear and likely won’t start in the first week. There may have been a moment before your last drink when time seemed to stop, and you were pulled into the present moment where you could see where things were headed if you didn’t quit drinking.
For some this growth may involve religious exploration and for others it may just be feeling the pull to be in nature or seeing life synchronicities and being able to decipher signals of intuition in your body. Creativity may return and books like Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way can help unblock creative channels.
Paul shares many different ways spiritual healing can show up for people on the journey to being alcohol-free.
[09:28] Paul introduces Christopher:
Chris is 27 and lives in Melbourne, Australia. He is about to start being a psychologist in a few weeks where he looks forward to being of service, but currently is working in the restaurant area of a pub. For fun he enjoys the outdoors, running, hiking and is a fan of philosophy.
Chris’ drinking began like many others when he was in his teens. He says he instantly felt free, and his problems slipped away. He drank when the opportunities arose, and it was mainly binge drinking on the weekends.
Chris said he cared a lot of what others thought of him or if they found him interesting, so he began to believe that he had to drink in order to please them. This led to an escalation in his drinking and not long after he began to question his it but didn’t feel like it was an addiction. He kept himself busy to avoid dealing with those thoughts.
When Chris was 19 or 20, he was going into another semester at school and was exhausted. He decided to take this time to quit alcohol and drugs. He found himself thinking about alcohol a lot during this time and began to explore what this meant to him. Chris didn’t want to share with anyone what he was doing so kept it to himself.
After the three-month break, Chris went back to drinking and it wasn’t the same. He realized that alcohol had been ruined for him. He was drinking just because he was terrified of the alternative but eventually decided to quit and this time shared his intention with others.
In spite of having multiple years away from alcohol, Chris didn’t feel completely sober.
He recently began to prioritize his sobriety and utilize more resources in his recovery. He was listening to the RE podcast but also became more active in Café RE and started going to AA meetings and getting a sponsor. Realizing that he couldn’t do it alone was a big revelation for Chris. He says that prioritizing his sobriety is the most important component to having control over the rest of his life.
Christopher’s parting piece of guidance: “do what’s right for you. Your truth is your truth and there is going to be a lot of outside noise, but you probably know what is going on deep down better than you realize.”
Recovery Elevator
Go big, because eventually we’ll all go home.
I love you guys.
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