RE 591: Open Up To Life

by Kris Oyen | Jun 15, 2026 | Podcast

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Today we have Meg. She is 36 years old, lives in Houston, TX and she took her last drink on October 11^th, 2020.

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[02:26] Thoughts from Paul:

You’ve heard the opposite of addiction is connection. Alcohol wants you turning away from people into a more isolated life. Paul encourages us to find small moments in the day when you can open up towards life and shares some examples of how we can engage with other people and nature throughout our lives.

[07:21] Paul introduces Meg:

Meg is 36 years old and lives in Houston, TX with her two cats Fred and George. She works as an HR coordinator for Meow Wolf and for fun, Meg enjoys walking, puzzling and writing.

Meg didn’t have her first drink until she was 18 years old but instantly knew it was a special elixir that was going to allow her to be more social and comfortable. Throughout college, Meg says she always drank, often to excess with the purpose of getting drunk. She didn’t recognize it as a problem at that point and just continued to spend time with friends who drank like her.

Meg got two DUIs when she was in her early 20s. She developed relationships where drinking was part of how they would relate to one another. It wasn’t until she was in a relationship with a normal drinker that her drinking became very noticeable. She found herself trying to moderate around him, but says it backfired often.

Meg’s says that she had some cognitive dissonance growing because she knew that the alcohol was pulling her away from her authenticity but found herself drinking more to try and shut that voice down. The drinking escalated during COVID when Meg was working at home, drinking all day, and hiding bottles from her boyfriend. She soon lost her job and the next day her boyfriend broke up with her.

Meg moved from California, back into her mom’s home in Las Vegas. Meg and her mother hadn’t lived together for the last 10 years, so her mother wasn’t aware how much Meg drank. After a day of drinking and blacking out, Meg and her mother got into a big fight that led to her trashing her room. Meg woke up the next day feeling really low and scared of the person she was becoming when she drank.

The day after the blowout, Meg and her mother had a long discussion where Meg revealed more to her about how drunk she was and that she had a problem with drinking. Her mother told her, “I love you and I don’t like you right now”. Meg says that was very painful, but it opened her up to working on recovery.

Meg knew she couldn’t say “never” so instead focused on taking things day by day. She was in a great environment for healing and had plenty of time to take walks and she came up with an idea to treat it like an experiment. She set goals of not drinking through several upcoming events and leaned on friends and family to help hold her accountable.

After around 90 days, Meg recognized that she was doing ok by herself but knew she needed community and connection. She joined the Café RE community and started attending retreats, which have been life-changing for her.

Meg quickly saw some positive results when she quit drinking. Her career has kicked off, and she has been promoted every year since she started at Meow Wolf. Meg says she went from being a reactive person to a proactive person. Sobriety has given Meg tools to navigate the full range of emotions. Journalling and writing are important to Meg. She is currently documenting her journey through treatment for Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma on her blog Sincerely, Nutmeg.

Meg’s parting piece of guidance: make sober a priority, because you are worth it.

We love you, Meg. Looking forward to seeing you dance at Bozeman 2027! 😊

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down.

You’ve got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

RE 589: The Little Things

by Kris Oyen | Jun 1, 2026 | Podcast

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Today we have Brooke. She is 55 years old, lives in Denver, CO and she took her last drink on February 17^th, 2026.

This episode is brought to you by:

If you’re wondering what you can expect in your first seven days alcohol free, well, we just created a FREE 7-day guide for your first seven days.

[02:39] Thoughts from Paul:

In the upcoming book, This is How We Quit, we are currently narrowing down the submissions from 66 to around 20. While reviewing these all, Paul shares with us a snippet from one of them by Kristi, who was the guest on episode 492.

[07:45] Paul introduces Brooke:

Brookes lives in Denver, CO, has been married for 25 years and they have two sons. She has a background in education and for fun she enjoys being outside. They enjoy hiking, skiing, walking and playing tennis.

Growing up, Brooke believed that alcohol was necessary part of living. She saw her parents drink casually and was in a lot of environments where drinking was a given. Brooke took her first drink in high school, and it was just part of socializing throughout high school, college and her early professional years.

Brooke says it’s hard to imagine a time when she didn’t think drinking was normalized. Whether drinking for celebration or drinking for grieving, alcohol was always present.

Once Brooke reached her 40s, she noticed that it wasn’t as easy to get up the next day without some sort of hangover symptoms even if all she had was one or two drinks after a hard day at work.

Brooke was starting to question her drinking but the talk about alcohol being “good for us” was conflicting. She was beginning to see the signs of alcohol interfering with her health. She was participating in cleanses for 10 or 30 days and found that she felt so much better when she took breaks from drinking. It was hard for her to think about quitting completely because if how much it was present socially.

When Brooke’s mother was diagnosed with cancer, she noticed that all of the doctors discouraged alcohol. This got the wheels turning for Brooke and she did a deep dive on the detriments of alcohol on our bodies.

Brooke was recovering from shingles this past February and that is when she decided she was done with alcohol. She doesn’t feel like it was a rock bottom moment, but more of a realization that she was just exhausted from the inner dialogue around her drinking.

When she initially quit, Brooke was questioning how she was going to show up in her life without the drinking. She had experience quitting from doing cleanses in the past, so she knew it would be tough initially, but was prepared to be kind to herself throughout the process. She focused on caring for herself as she would care for one of her children if they were in distress or sick.

Learning and reading research about what alcohol does to our bodies has been helpful for Brooke. She has learned to slow down and be more aware of her feelings and what she needs to make herself feel better, without alcohol. Brooke uses a breathwork to help calm her nervous system and has also found great healing in nature.

In addition to yoga, mediation, breathwork and nature, other resources Brooke has found helpful on her journey are attending therapy, reading Quitlit, research on functional medicine and reading the bible. Attending meetings with sober communities has been important as well.

At about two months sober at the time of this recording, Brooke says she feels stronger than she’s ever felt. She feels free and clear in both her head and heart spaces and is excited to explore life free of alcohol.

Recovery Elevator

Go big. Because eventually we’ll all go home.

I love you guys.

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RE 588: Religion

by Kris Oyen | May 25, 2026 | Podcast

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Today we have Anita. She is 49 years old from Bend, OR and she took her last drink on January 4^th, 2026.

This episode is brought to you by:

[03:14] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares with us that in the upcoming interview, he and the guest talk about religion. While he knows this can be a triggering topic for some, including him, he encourages us to be open minded to both the interview and religion in general.

[12:38] Paul introduces Anita:

Anita is 49 years old, lives in Bend, OR she is single and works as a family doctor. Much of her family also lives in the area. Anita enjoys hiking, cold plunges, dancing and frequently travels to Esalen in Big Sur.

Anita was raised in a Christian cult called but went to public schools which left her feeling anxious and nervous all the time. She says the didn’t have a TV at home, so Anita would find herself reading comics and snacking. This later developed into an eating disorder as she grew into adolescence.

Anita graduated from high school and attended a Christian college in Michigan. Being a rule follower, Anita didn’t drink much before she was 21. Her drinking remained rather moderate while she was addressing her eating disorder. She was attending Overeaters Anonymous and followed a meal plan that didn’t include alcohol.

After about five years, Anita became an atheist and decided she didn’t want to practice medicine anymore. She decided to trust the universe and move to southern California, but it didn’t go well for Anita, and she moved back to Oregon after four years.

Anita would go back and forth with alcohol over the years, but up until this past January, would always find herself going back. With a stressful job helping others, drinking was a way to regroup at the end of the day. On January 5^th, Anita stumbled across a copy of Paul’s book Alcohol is Shit she had in her office and started reading. From there, she started listening to the RE podcast and found herself deeply identifying with an interview Paul had with Sarah (episode 568).

Anita agrees that there is power in listening to others’ stories. Acknowledging that she was a high-functioning alcohol user, Anita believes that we get to choose how low we go. She says while she still thinks of alcohol, it doesn’t nip at her heels the way it used to. Intuitively she knows that it is toxic and no longer wants to use alcohol in her existence. Without alcohol she knows she can create more realness in her life that will help her address whatever is thrown at her.

Anita believes in being open about her recovery and telling others that she doesn’t drink. She continues to listen to podcasts, recently joined Café RE, reads books and watches YouTube videos. She has started interacting with nature more so it can reteach her where her place is in life.

Anita’s parting piece of guidance: give it a chance. If you’re listening to this, you’re already conflicted about it. Give your heart a chance to have a day without alcohol and see where that takes you.

Recovery Elevator

It all starts from the inside out.

I love you guys.

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Inner Conflict and Sobriety: Why Recovery Starts Within

by Kerri MacFarlane | Apr 15, 2026 | Blog, Early Sobriety, Helpful Tips

Inner Conflict: Why the Hardest Work in Sobriety Happens Within

Today we’re talking about inner conflict and sobriety.

Most people don’t like conflict, but conflict itself isn’t a bad thing. In fact, the inner conflict many people experience around alcohol is often the very thing that leads them toward sobriety, self-awareness, and lasting recovery.

Conflict exists on two levels: the micro level and the macro level.

The micro level is the inner conflict we experience within ourselves. For many people in recovery, it can sound like this:

Do I quit drinking… or do I not?

The macro level is the conflict we see in groups, cultures, and even between nations.

Both forms of conflict matter. And more importantly, both are connected.

Inner Conflict Is Part of the Human Experience

It is impossible to live a human life without conflict.

In fact, attempts to avoid it often create even more of it.

Conflict shows up everywhere—in relationships, at work, in technology that refuses to cooperate, and sometimes even with printers, websites, or online bill-pay platforms.

Conflict is part of being human.

At any given moment we’re reconciling opposing forces within ourselves. The yin and the yang. The light and the dark. The part of us that wants growth and the part that wants comfort.

Some days the darker side wins and the light takes a seat.

Other days the light breaks through.

Most people tiptoe around this inner conflict for as long as possible. Some individuals go their entire lives without addressing it.

They don’t have to.

But for others, the internal tension becomes impossible to ignore.

Eventually, it demands attention.

And this is often where addiction enters the story.

Why Inner Conflict Often Leads to Addiction and Sobriety

Most people who grapple with addiction never fully address the deeper inner conflict beneath it.

But those who do choose to face it are doing something incredibly courageous.

There are podcasts about true crime, travel, and home remodeling. Yet many people choose to spend their time listening to conversations about recovery, healing, and personal growth.

That’s a big commitment.

Addiction often develops when there is intense inner conflict—when parts of our personalities are out of balance or when pain inside us demands attention.

And this inner imbalance is rarely isolated.

Individual unrest is often connected to the larger imbalance within society itself.

Strangely enough, addiction can become the catalyst that forces us to look inward.

And when someone chooses recovery, that inner work becomes unavoidable.

Facing Inner Conflict in Addiction Recovery

Inner work is not easy.

Sometimes it’s painful. It comes with tears, frustration, and difficult moments where the ego takes a hit.

Recovery often requires looking honestly at past conflicts—at people, places, experiences, and beliefs that have shaped our reactions and behaviors.

It involves asking uncomfortable questions:

What happened?
What role did I play?
What can I learn from this?

For many people in recovery, there comes a moment when the choice becomes clear.

Continue down the same path—or choose life.

Choosing recovery means choosing the work.

It means facing those internal conflicts head-on and being willing to examine them honestly.

Many people in sobriety share that moment in common.

They chose life.

How Sobriety Helps Resolve Inner Conflict

So what does recovery actually look like?

At its core, recovery involves setting the ego aside and reconnecting with who we truly are.

It means rediscovering an authentic self that may have been buried beneath years of coping mechanisms, fear, or pain.

And perhaps most importantly, it means learning to accept and love all parts of ourselves.

The light and the shadow.

The strengths and the imperfections.

When that process begins, something remarkable happens.

Gradually, the way we relate to the outside world begins to shift as well.

People become easier to understand.

Situations become less triggering.

Even the frustrating things—like broken printers—start to feel a little less overwhelming.

“What the Hell Is Going On Right Now?”

A phrase that many people have been asking lately is:

“What the hell is going on right now?”

It’s a fair question.

But the answer may be simpler than it seems.

For many people, turning inward and examining their own blind spots feels too painful.

It’s much easier to project frustration outward than to confront the discomfort inside.

Instead of examining their own role in conflict, people often direct that unrest toward others.

That’s when blame becomes easier than reflection.

When Inner Conflict Becomes Global Conflict

There’s a simple truth that appears again and again throughout history:

People who struggle to love themselves often struggle to love others.

When individuals carry deep internal resentment or shame, it can easily manifest as anger toward other people or groups.

This dynamic doesn’t just occur at the personal level.

When entire groups or nations refuse to address internal conflict, that unrest can be projected outward onto others.

History has shown how dangerous this pattern can become.

Research in psychology continues to show that self-awareness is one of the most important factors in personal growth and long-term recovery.

Recovery is widely recognized as a process that involves personal growth, support, and ongoing self-reflection.

Why Facing Inner Conflict Leads to Lasting Sobriety

Given this, how do we respond to the chaos and tension that often seems to dominate the world?

The answer may be the same one found in recovery.

We start by doing the inner work.

We face the conflict within ourselves.

We learn from it.

And we allow that process to shape how we move through the world.

Many of the largest challenges facing humanity today—from environmental concerns to technological risks—are ultimately rooted in human decision-making.

In other words, they stem from the human ego.

However, meaningful change doesn’t always start with large systems or institutions.

It often begins with individuals.

Because of this, when people commit to self-awareness, healing, and growth, it changes how they show up in the world.

As a result, when enough individuals do that work, the collective direction of humanity can begin to shift.

In that sense, inner work may be one of the most powerful contributions anyone can make.

Sometimes the very things that once felt like obstacles—addiction, conflict, pain—become the catalyst for that change.

And that’s where recovery begins.

Author: Paul Churchill, founder of Recovery Elevator.

RE 582: What Are We Connecting To?

by Kris Oyen | Apr 13, 2026 | Podcast

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Today we have Ron. He is 67 years old from Milwaukee, WI and he took his last drink of alcohol on February 19^th, 2026.

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[02:57] Thoughts from Paul:

The village, the community, the tribe, has been completely destroyed in the last couple hundred years, and this messes with us big time. Okay, the opposite of addiction is connection, but what exactly are we connecting to?

The big one here is yourself. If you’re disconnected within, everything in your outside world will be fractured also. The next big one is when you connect with others. But even after that, probably the biggest connection is the one with nature.

There’s no coincidence as our war against nature intensifies, so do ailments such as addictions, chronic pain, depression, and anxiety disorders. We are being called home, and it’s a beautiful thing. So how do you build this connection with nature or the natural world?

I’ve got good news for you. You are the natural world. So, this separation is false from the first place, and it’s a mind-created fiction. So go outside, read a book outside, download the Merlin Bird app, and learn the birds that call your neighborhood home.

[08:04] Paul introduces Ron:

Ron is 67 and lives in Milwaukee, WI. He is the president of a large restaurant company. He has been married to his wife for 12 years, has two grown children, five grandchildren and two dogs. For fun Ron enjoys travelling, reading, golf and time with family.

Ron says he first drank when he was a teenager, but it was very occasional. He says that most of his adult life, he did not have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol until he was around 52 years old.

In 2010, Ron was going through a divorce and opened a sports bar. He spent a lot of time there buying and drinking shots while interacting with customers. Ron says going from a non-drinker to a daily drinker happened very quickly.

Ron’s drinking went unexamined. He was professional, he was doing well and it wasn’t impacting his work. He was working out, running marathons, everything on the outside looked functional. Around 2012, Ron realized he was having too many hangovers and tried many forms of moderation for eight years.

In 2020, Ron decided to quit and did it for 13 months. Although he was mindful during this time, Ron says he was a dry drunk and didn’t have the layers of tools that he would need to maintain sobriety. Alcohol was continuously around and he became tired of being the only person who did not drink. It only took two weeks for Ron to end up right back where he was.

Ron and his wife began golfing and drinking a lot during the pandemic. His wife went from being a moderate drinker to being a heavy drinker. In 2024, Ron began to notice she was having a challenging relationship with alcohol too.

Ron’s wife’s drinking habits were different than his, but they began having some issues communicating and connecting. He started talking to her about moderation, but those efforts didn’t work for her. She decided to check into a 30-day inpatient program and within three days, Ron says he saw his wife come back spiritually. It was then that Ron knew he had to quit with her.

Ron’s last drink was the day before his wife got home from rehab. This time he is using more resources and has additional accountability with his wife. He began reading and listening to podcasts and by the time she got home he was ready. Ron and his wife have started going to counseling and are doing the work together and individually. Included in their recovery is attending AA, SMART recovery and Café RE. Ron realizes how important community is on the recovery journey.

Ron’s parting piece of guidance: lean into people.

Recovery Elevator

We took the elevator down,

We got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

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