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RE 581: The BEST Way to Feel Better

by Kris Oyen | Apr 6, 2026 | Podcast

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Today we have Lidia. She is 41 years old from Seattle, WA and she took her last drink of alcohol on August 31^st, 2025.

This episode is brought to you by:

[01:40] Thoughts from Paul:

Some of you may have seen the title of today’s episode which is The Best Way to Feel Better. And that’s why you’re tuning in – to feel better. Maybe you’re in early sobriety and you’re not feeling good.

Paul shares with us how the best way of feeling better has taken place in his life. It comes when he may be having a bad day but has an interview with a new guest scheduled. There have been a few times where he was hoping that they wouldn’t show but has discovered that within the first few minutes of talking with them – he feels better.

The best way to feel better is to talk to another human being. Talk to someone you trust, maybe make an unplanned visit to a friend’s house. There is a reason they call it the 10,000-pound phone. Because the mind (or addiction) wants you alone. Just knowing this makes it easier to pick up the phone.

[06:09] Paul introduces Lidia:

Lidia is 41 years old, and lives outside of Seattle with her husband, their daughter and their dog. For fun, Lidia enjoys hiking, puppy yoga, her daughter’s Girl Scouts and the local community theater.

Lidia was born in Warsaw, Poland to young parents and says alcohol was a big part of the culture. She recalls having her first drink to celebrate her second or third birthday. When she was six, she and her mom immigrated to the US. Her mother worked a lot, which left Lidia to fend for herself a good bit.

During her teen years, Lidia would attend summer camps where it was easy to find older kids to buy her alcohol. The closest relationship she had was with

Throughout the teen years and college, Lidia says she was good at drinking and wore it as a badge of honor. After reaching adulthood, the drinking was a daily occurrence finding any excuse to drink whether at home or out with friends. Alcohol was correlated with fun at this time in her life.

Lidia met her husband when she was 27. They were both members of a rock-climbing community and became climbing partners. It wasn’t long after meeting that they ended up married and having their daughter. This was the first time that her relationship with alcohol was threatened because she felt they needed to be more responsible with a child.

Lidia used alcohol to cope with postpartum depression. The first red flag first showed when she realized she was drinking and driving with her daughter. Lidia didn’t know much about recovery or how to support herself through it, so she was full of shame and guilt. Eventually she told her husband and ended up enrolling in an IOP, attending AA and got sober for four years.

Because Lidia had quit for her daughter and not herself, she began to have resentments and felt like she wasn’t having any fun. Since she related fun with alcohol, she went back to drinking. It was then that others were watching her and she assured them she was fine. Lidia began trying to hide her drinking because she didn’t want to feel the judgment.

Last summer, Lidia was told by her husband that she would lose her family if she continued drinking like she was. They chose a quit date of September 1^st and for motivation, Lidia registered for an RE trip to Costa Rica which was five months away.

The first 30 days went well for Lidia. The pink cloud arrived and she started feeling better physically. Month two found her crashing a bit and she began learning how to slow down. Going forward, Lidia is looking forward to spending more time with her daughter and the Girl Scout troop, getting involved in the local community theater and celebrating all of her wins, big and small.

Recovery Elevator

We took the elevator down; we’ve got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

I love you guys.

Café RE

RE 578: Protect Your Energy

by Kris Oyen | Mar 16, 2026 | Podcast

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Today we have Jan. She is 75 years old from Winchester, VA and took her last drink on February 1^st, 2021.

This episode is brought to you by:

Café RE – THE social app for sober people

Recovery Elevator is compiling a list of recovery stories and we’re going to put them in a book called This is How We Quit. If you want to be part of this book, and submit your story, we’d love to have you. There is no sobriety time requirement so if your saying to yourself, well, I’ve only been sober 30 days, I can’t submit my story, then nonsense. Send an email to info@recoveryelevator.com and you’ll get a google form to fill out and submit your story.

**TRIGGER WARNING** this episode references firearms and sexual assault

[02:48] Thoughts from Paul:

A common phrase in the recovery space is “protect your energy”. Paul feels it is a solid idea and tries to practice it as well. His goal in life had always been to bring people together and it has been a major pain point for him to see the current administration purposely trying to separate or divide Americans.

Paul tries to focus on what he can control and turn everything else – especially the news. He shares a story about a recent visit to his parents’ house where the news was on and he couldn’t find the remote to turn it off.

Paull mentions all of this to remind us of what RE stands for, which is community, connection, inclusivity and love. Many of the things going on in our country go completely against our mission so we have to protect our energy and turn that stuff off, and you should too.

[07:49] Paul introduces Jan:

Jan currently lives in Winchester, VA, she is divorced, has one adult son named Sam and a 14-year-old Pekingese. For fun Jan enjoys walking, hiking, being outside and dancing.

Jan started drinking when she was 19 and attending school in Europe. She reflects that she spent time with the wildest group where they did a lot of drugs and drank. When she returned to the US, she attended the University of Arizona and did a lot of traveling back in forth to Mexico and eventually ended up in Puerto Vallarta. Jan says she always gravitated to the people she shouldn’t have.

Bad things began happening to Jan due to her drug and alcohol use. She found herself in a lot of scary situations that eventually led to her depression and desire to move back to the US. Jan began to attend AA and was able to maintain four years of sobriety about fifteen years ago but started drinking again.

There was no rock-bottom moment leading up Jan’s quit date in 2021, but she was tired of the mental obsession with alcohol. She tried naltrexone and The Sinclair Method, Antabuse and discovered Café RE after a friend of her son suggested it. She quit drinking right around the same time she joined.

Over the years prior to quitting drinking, Jan had been misdiagnosed with different mental health disorders. Since she has quit, she no longer needs the meds they believed she did. Jan says she sees things more clearly and enjoys photography now. Her love of nature has increased. The connection piece in recovery has also been very important to Jan, and she enjoys hosting some of the chats within Café RE. She stresses that we can’t do this alone and having community is vital to recovery.

One of Jan’s favorite recovery quotes is that it’s a lot easier to stay sober than to get sober. Some of her advice for those new in recovery is to get involved with community, listen to podcasts, read quit lit and attend meetups.

Recovery Elevator

Go big because eventually we’ll all go home.

Love thy neighbor.

I love you guys.

RE 575: What Finally Makes One Quit Drinking

by Kris Oyen | Feb 23, 2026 | Podcast

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Today we have Greg. He is 57 years old and from Midlothian, VA. He took his last drink on December 8^th, 2025.

This episode is brought to you by:

Café RE – the social app for sober people

Recovery Elevator is compiling a list of recovery stories and we’re going to put them in a book called This is How We Quit. If you want to be part of this book, please submit your story. There is no sobriety time requirement. Send an email to info@recoveryelevator.com and you’ll get a google form to fill out and submit your story.

If you have been thinking about joining Café RE, now is the time. The monthly price is increasing to $29 per month on March 1^st. If you’re already a member, your price will not increase, this is only for new membership. Keep in mind that $29 per month is most likely a fraction of what you may have spent on alcohol per month.

[03:55] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares with us a beautifully written piece someone shared with him a few months ago.

In summary, they didn’t quit drinking after a dramatic rock bottom, but after a quiet realization. Alcohol had become an automatic habit used to avoid feelings, slowly eroding sleep , mood, health, clarity, and self-respect. “Functioning” wasn’t truly living. When they stopped lying to themselves about its cost and stopped romanticizing it, drinking felt pointless—and they simply chose honesty over pretending.

[10:12] Paul introduces Greg:

Greg is 57 years old from Midlothian, VA. For work, Greg is self-employed and does lawn, landscape and maintenance work. He has been married for 24 years, and he has four adult children, one grandchild, two dogs and a cat. For fun, Greg enjoys going to yard sales, is a big sports fan and enjoys music of all kinds.

Greg rarely drank in high school but began drinking regularly in college, which hurt his grades. After his GPA fell below 2.0, his father refused to keep paying for school unless he transferred to a Christian university. Greg initially moved out and continued partying while working a minimum-wage job but eventually accepted his father’s offer. Despite strict no-drinking rules at the new school, he found ways to keep partying.

With his first child on the way after graduation, Greg got a position working in retail management. A few years later he shifted to working in the restaurant business, which found him drinking every evening after work and staying at the bar through all hours.

After his sister’s sudden death, Greg’s drinking intensified and shifted from social partying to drinking alone as a way to cope. He didn’t see himself as an alcoholic – it just felt normal to him. When his relationship with the mother of his first two children ended, his drinking continued to worsen.

Within a few years, Greg and his current wife married and had two kids together. Greg continued to drink daily and over the years, his wife’s tolerance decreased. She tried everything she could to help him stop, but eventually she began talking about divorce and separation, but he didn’t believe she would do it.

In March 2025, his wife moved out. Greg had made a statement that this was just who he was, and he was done trying to quit drinking and he now believes that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He still had no interest in quitting drinking until August 2025 when he heard a voice telling him to start going back to church.

This was the catalyst Greg needed, and he surrendered control of his life to Jesus Christ and became active in his church community. He starts his mornings with reading the bible, journalling and reviewing his thoughts and feelings. He is currently starting a recovery group at his church. Greg and his wife are working on reconciliation. Now 45 days away from alcohol at the time of recording, Greg feels like a completely different person.

Recovery Elevator

This isn’t a no to alcohol,

But a hell yes to a better life

I love you guys,

RE 574: Your Sobriety Team

by Kris Oyen | Feb 16, 2026 | Podcast

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Today we have Kerri. She is 51 years old from Maine and took her last drink on June 7^th, 2025.

This episode is brought to you by:

Soberlink – sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus

[04:09] Thoughts from Paul:

Last week we talked about patience and how preparation is sacred work. This week, we are talking about building your expedition team a.k.a., your sobriety team.

First, there is this podcast. Paul and the RE production team are part of your team. All interviewees are part of your team.

Then you need community. This can be in-person or online with other sober people. You need people who get it, who’ve been where you are, and who can remind you why you are doing this. There is also no shame in seeking professional help or a therapist.

And don’t forget God, or a higher power, or the universe, or whatever you want to call that thing bigger than yourself. Because when you’re in the wilderness and the map runs out.

This week, ask yourself: who’s on my team? And if the answer is “nobody yet” then your mission is to find at least one person. Because you can’t do this alone. You weren’t meant to do this alone. Lean in.

[08:14] Paul introduces Kerri:

Kerri is 51 and lives in Maine. She is a registered nurse, divorced and has two older teenagers. For fun she loves live music, yoga, sauna, kayak, writing and spending time with her kids.

Kerri first tried alcohol when she was 12. She grew up in a townhouse community with lots of other kids and limited supervision. Kerri went to college in Boston where she says she partied like the guys did and was the girl that was let in. Her 20’s were pretty healthy and she doesn’t feel her drinking was a problem at that point.

Kerri has a sister in recovery. She says their alcoholism was more overt and people would comment on it, but Kerri kept drinking privately and faked control over it. When she got married, she and her husband were drinking partners and would drink daily. Over time she says she felt a switch flip and began to try and control her drinking with little luck.

When she got divorced, Kerri says she was undone. Alcohol became her coping mechanism, but she kept it concealed and remained functional. She tried to quit after her first DUI, but it lasted nine months and then she began to test the water again every few months afterwards. Kerri feels that moderation is a lie, from her experience.

Last June, Kerri lost her job as a school nurse and says she hit an emotional rock bottom. She no longer cared about herself, drank a box of wine and then drove leading to another DUI. Prior to this event, her drinking had been ramping up to the point her kids were noticing it. Her kids reaction to her DUI led Kerri to decide she needed to quit.

Utilizing her sister as a resource and attending AA, Kerri was determined to work on her recovery. Her life was crashing down around her, and her sister asked her what she was going to do differently. Kerri found herself on her knees surrendering and asking for help, which is something that has never been easy for her.

Podcasts have been a great tool for Kerri because she lives in a rural area and it’s hard to get to meetings. Other tools she uses are journaling, sauna, yoga and she is committed to attending AA once a week.

Kerri’s message to those that are still struggling: “your life will get better. It is so incredibly worth it. It could be the most challenging thing you’re ever going to go through but imagine being clear and present for your own life”.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down

You’ve got to take the stairs back up

We can do this