by Kris Oyen | Feb 9, 2026 | Podcast
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Today we have Lewis. He is 39 years old from Burlington, VT and he took his last rink of alcohol on June 12th, 2025.
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August 12th – 16th: Get ready to elevate your alcohol-free life in Big Sky Country. Join RE in Bozeman, Montana for our annual sober summer retreat. Registration opens April 1st. This isn’t your typical retreat. We’re talking adventure, laughter and deep bonds with people who get it. This retreat will remind you why choosing freedom over booze was the best decision you ever made.
[01:52] Thoughts from Paul:
This week, Paul talks about something that doesn’t get discussed enough in recovery: patience and preparation.
Getting sober takes time. Preparing for your new life takes time. Some people are able to spontaneously quit drinking and never look back, but most have to slowly build momentum before trust falling into an alcohol-free life.
Some of you may have been listening to this podcast for years and feeling guilty for still drinking – DON’T. Maybe you think you are failing because you haven’t quit yet. You’re NOT. You are in preparation mode and intentional preparation is sacred work.
Every time you question whether alcohol is worth it, you’re gathering intelligence. Every moment you imagine life without drinking; you’re building the mental map you’ll need for the actual journey.
This week, give yourself permission to be exactly where you are. If you’re still drinking and listening, you’re right where you need to be. It doesn’t matter if you quit yesterday, last month or several years ago, you’re right where you need to be.
[06:46] Paul introduces Lewis:
Lewis is 39 years old and grew up in Australia but now lives in Burlington, VT. He runs a business. For fun, Lewis likes run and being outdoors snowboarding, surfing, eat good food and hang out with friends.
Lewis grew up with two brothers, who he is still close with, and says they had a great childhood living in a remote area in Western Australia. He tried alcohol for the first time when he was 14 and loved it immediately.
Lewis’ drinking took off while attending university in Perth where the social life mainly revolved around alcohol. He didn’t realize at the time that he was drinking more than others. He completed his studies in Canada where his drinking escalated because he was away from family and responsibilities. The drinking became a daily habit when he began his career as a bartender while in Greece.
Lewis moved back to Australia and began working in a brewery. He enjoyed that fact that there were less people there judging him. He knew his drinking was problematic when more and more negative things started happening, but he wasn’t ready to confront it. There were many attempts to moderate, and he was able to take breaks, but never got it completely under control.
In 2020, Lewis realized he was powerless over alcohol but wasn’t ready to accept it. Moderation attempts continued and Lewis moved to Vermont hoping the geographical cure would help him. He was a binge drinker, so daily drinking wasn’t a concern for him, but he began having falls and missing work due to his binges.
On his last binge, it finally occurred to him that if he kept going, he was going to lose everything or die. He woke up last June and made the decision to finally stop drinking.
Lewis joined AA and found a great community within it. He started out going to at least five meetings a week and found a sponsor in a friend he had previously met at the gym while he was still drinking. Lewis is very open about his recovery and has found that most people have been very supportive.
Tools that are helpful to Lewis include podcasts, quit-lit, The Phoenix (sober workout community), his higher power and AA. Lewis is learning he can make plans, have goals and follow through with them.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down
You gotta take the stairs back up.
We can do this!
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Café RE
by Kris Oyen | Feb 2, 2026 | Podcast
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Today we have Jack. He is 45 years old and from Los Angeles, CA. He took his last drink of alcohol on December 31st, 2024.
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[02:47] Thoughts from Paul:
Last week Paul talked about the intentional phase of sobriety: choosing what you want to explore next and how you are going to fill the void left by alcohol.
Looking at Lewis and Clark, we know that no expedition goes according to plan. So this week we will talk about setbacks because they’re part of life. Maybe it’s relapse (or Field Research as we refer to it in RE). Maybe it’s an injury that sidelines your new running routine or an illness that drains your energy for weeks. Or it may just be life being life.
The thing about setbacks – they don’t erase your progress; they’re just part of the terrain. If you drink again, you have not gone back to zero. You’ve gathered data. You know more now than you did before – about triggers, patterns, what works and what doesn’t.
The goal here is not perfection, it’s persistence. If you are facing a setback – big or small – ask yourself: what’s the adjusted route? Not “should I give up?” but “how do I keep moving forward from here?”
[7:46] Paul introduces Jack:
Jack grew up in New Jersey but now lives in LA. He is a runner and currently training for a marathon. He loves movies and video games, and he is currently taking a fragrance development course and plans to build his own brand and launch his own fragrance in the future.
Growing up, Jack was always sensitive and shy kid. His parents drank and alcohol was just a regular part of life with wine at dinner and craft beer always around.
As a teenager, Jack drank to fit in at parties. Jack is gay and used alcohol to cancel out his anxiety and the awkwardness he felt socially. He says he didn’t drink all the time and there were no real consequences, just teenage experimentation,
Jack drank on the weekends through college and enjoyed going out to gay clubs. After transferring from Savannah back to NYC, he finished school and got a job as a graphic designer. Drinking became a daily activity on his commutes and on weekends. Jack also began moonlighting as a DJ hosting parties in Manhattan and Brooklyn, something he always dreamed of doing when he was a teenager. This opened up a new world of nightlife for Jack.
Jack would drink all night while DJ’ing and go to work a few hours later. He had his first panic attack at work and while he knew that it was the hangover that triggered it but found that alcohol gave him instant relief. Blackouts began to happen regularly, and it dawned on Jack that he wasn’t sure he was going to be able to stop drinking.
Jack became sober-curious in 2016. He started reading books and taking time off from drinking. Soon after this started his partner had an opportunity to go to grad school in Boston and Jack felt like this could be a clean slate.
After a few years alcohol-free, Jack felt like he could handle alcohol again. He planned to drink on his birthday. This opened the door for regression and within 6 months, the pandemic found Jack drinking just like he was before.
Jack’s anxiety and panic attacks caused by his alcohol abuse were getting the best of him. After a rough weekend in Vegas, he drank through that holiday and knew that he couldn’t continue to drink. He had heard about RE’s Dry January course and burned the ships with his partner.
Jack said the course was exactly what he needed at the time and he knew within the first week that this is how he wants to live his life. He felt the pink cloud and euphoria from making the daily decision to be sober. He is an active member in Café RE, enjoys running, hiking, meditation and finding connections with community. Jack says he has gone from Passive Sobriety to Active Recovery.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down
You got to take the stairs back up
We can do this.
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by Kris Oyen | Dec 22, 2025 | Podcast
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Today we have Kristine. She is 34 years old from Toronto Canada, and she took her last drink on May 19th, 2025.
This episode is brought to you by:
Café RE – the social app for sober people
Café RE is now a registered 501c3 nonprofit. Please visit the website or email info@recoveryelevator.com if you are interested in making a yearend donation.
Join us for our Dry January course Restore at 8pm eastern time on January 1st. This is the first of 13 sessions throughout the month, and this course is all about accountability and having fun.
Paul’s new book Dolce Vita will be released in both in print and audiobook on January 1st, 2026.
RE Ukelele Course starts on January 10th. No prior ukulele or music experience needed for this beginner-friendly sober course.
[01:43] Thoughts from Paul:
An interview guest from an upcoming episode shared “if you think you’re too far gone, you’re not”. This is a message that Paul is choosing to relay early with Christmas coming up. He feels that the next 10 to 12 days can be the hardest days of the year when it comes to navigating sobriety. The Fuck-It button is large and seems to follow you everywhere.
If you think you’re too far gone, you’re not. The fact that you are asking the question means the answer is no – if you woke up this morning, you’re not too far gone. There is no such thing as being too broken to heal. You are not too far gone; you are just fashionably late to your own recovery.
[06:49] Paul introduces Kristine:
Kristine lives in Toronto with her husband and their rescue dog Flo. She works in tech sales and in her free time Kristine enjoys walking, exercise, reading and travelling.
Growing up, alcohol wasn’t prevalent in her life and Kristine hated the idea of drinking until she was 15. In an effort to feel included Kristine began drinking at parties with her group of friends. She initially enjoyed the fact that alcohol helped her come out of her shell, but the occasional party turned into drinking every weekend.
There were red flags that Kristine didn’t listen to, including waking up in the hospital after having her stomach pumped. Throughout college, friends and family would try to talk to her about it but she was convinced it was fun and wanted to live up to the party girl lifestyle.
After graduating, Kristine moved back home and her drinking was mainly on the weekends. She soon discovered craft beer, and it became a passion for her. Kristine began beer sales and drinking with clients became part of the job.
At 28 she met her husband. She says she brought her peace that she had never had before. Her drinking cut back and wasn’t as problematic until COVID happened. This time period found them both drinking excessively and eventually, he said they needed to slow down.
Moderation attempts were tried and failed, and Kristine’s consumption was more than her partner’s which created a lot of tension. She was encouraged to go to therapy where she would never talk about her drinking.
Kristine’s first attempt at quitting came after a fight with her husband. She felt great for the month she had quit, but old habits crept back and her drinking was worse than before. She was sad and/or angry all the time.
While her husband was out of town, Kristine had moment that found her realizing she could no longer live as a shell of herself. As soon as she acknowledged she could no longer drink, she felt a veil of darkness lift.
Kristine began listening to podcasts and identifying with others’ stories. She was able to share with her husband and work towards gaining his trust back. He has been very supportive along with her family. With the help of journalling, apps and podcasts, Kristine is able to focus on her recovery and future goals. She has opened up in therapy and has been learning how to talk through triggers and work on a prevention plan.
Recovery Elevator
Go big, because eventually we’ll all go home.
I love you guys.
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by Kris Oyen | Dec 15, 2025 | Podcast
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Today we have Nathan. He is 45 years old from Harrisburg, VA and took his last drink on January 24th, 2023.
This episode is brought to you by:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored
Café RE – the social app for sober people
Get your 2026 started off poison free and join us for our Dry January course Restore at 8pm eastern time on January 1st. This is the first of 13 sessions throughout the month, and this course is all about accountability and having fun.
January 1st, 2026 is the official release date for Paul’s new book Dolce Vita both in print and audiobook. He would love to have you on the launch team. Email info@recoveryelevator.com to join.
[01:59] Thoughts from Paul:
When asked what recovery has made possible, today’s guest Nathan responded with the one word “everything” almost before Paul could finish the question.
The sobriety space, especially the 12-step world, is full of cheesy recovery slogan, but Paul shares one that he laughed at when he first heard it. The saying is, you’re giving up one thing for everything. And that one thing is alcohol.
If you ride a drinking problem long enough, it will take everything from your life. But when you quit, nearly everything that was taken will be returned. Not all in one day of course, but a life without alcohol will give you everything. More money, more sunsets, more time with aging parents, more memories, a better outlook on life and more growth.
[05:56] Paul introduces Nathan:
Nathan lives in Harrisonburg, VA where he works in the philanthropy space in higher education. He and his wife have two children, 11 and 14 years old. For fun, he enjoys spending time with his family and out in nature.
In high school, Nathan was very active in a variety of high school activities. Having a reputation to maintain, Nathan kept his drinking private. Nathan went on to college and says it was the typical experience with the exception of losing a friend to a drunk driving incident in which he feels partially responsible for.
While he used alcohol to cope with the pain of the loss, he also used the loss to propel him into trying to make changes in programs at school and how he approached is own drinking. Nathan still did much of his drinking in private because he knew he couldn’t drink how he wanted to in public.
Over the years, Nathan didn’t think he had a problem, but he was hiding the quantity he drank from everyone. Once COVID came, the isolation, the unknowns, and the loss of multiple family members found Nathan’s consumption changing a bit. He began to realize the behavior wasn’t normal but believed it was a moral failing, or lack of discipline rather than the alcohol being the source of the problem.
At 41, Nathan began to use health related goals as motivation to moderate. He didn’t drink daily, but when he drank it was with the intention to get drunk. After finding himself in handcuffs with his car in the ditch, he wanted nothing more than to just “fix it”. It was at this time when his wife approached him and said it was time for him to go to AA.
Nathan didn’t identify as an alcoholic and was initially resistant, but a voice in his head said he had no excuse not to go. Getting some great advice at the first meeting that really resonated with him, Nathan left with the Big Book and went on to attend 90 meetings in 90 days.
The first three months were all about survival for Nathan. After his legal troubles ended he had a shift from “I have to do this” to “I want to do this”. Recognizing that he could use his recovery to help others, he and some friends are trying to reach the younger demographic in his area. Service has become very important, and Nathan is now a sponsor for others in the AA space.
Nathan’s parting piece of guidance: You’re never going to wake up in the morning and regret not drinking the night before.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
I love you guys.
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Sobriety Tracker iTunes
RE YouTube
by Kris Oyen | Dec 1, 2025 | Podcast
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Today we have Jack. He’s 39 years old from Phoenix, AZ and took his last drink of alcohol on June 23rd, 2025.
This episode is brought to you by:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored
Sober Link – sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus
Registration for Recovery Elevator’s Dry January course Restore opens today. We are meeting 13 times live in the month of January to give you the best chance of ditching the booze.
Recovery Elevator now has its own coffee created with Rise Up Coffee Co. 25% of each bag sold will be donated to the nonprofit Café RE.
January 1st, 2026 is the official release date for Paul’s new book Dolce Vita.
[03:43] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul wants to do a check-in today. How are you doing at the end of 2025? How are you feeling after Thanksgiving and heading into Christmas? How are you feeling about yourself and your sobriety? This time of year can be a lot for many of us, but he wants to remind us all that we are not alone, even if you are listening to this podcast alone.
Our drinking problem likes to tell us that we are the only one in the world that has or has had struggles with alcohol, but that’s simply not true. More than ever are struggling, more than ever are quitting and more than ever are putting down the drink. Addiction wants us to feel alone. The first step is to recognize this voice; the next step is to join the growing movement into alcohol-free living. You are a part of this movement.
[08:42] Paul introduces Jack:
Jack is 39 years old and lives in Phoenix, AZ. He works as a trial attorney and outside of work likes to help community organizations. In his free time, Jack enjoys playing music and spending time in nature.
Jack was adopted as a baby after his birth mother arrived in the US from Mexico. His parents were very supportive and loving of Jack, but they share different viewpoints from him.
Jack says he had his first experience with alcohol two years before his first drink at age 16. After an argument with his mother about going to a friends house, Jack had stormed into his room enraged. As he sat with his big emotions, he had the thought of “I need a drink” for the first time. His first actual drink came at high school graduation and he felt the desire to cut loose for the first time.
The drinking started as a weekend activity, but Jack says he really took to it. Drinking didn’t make him tired; it energized him and took the stress away. Over the course of his college attendance, the weekend drinking with friends turned into daily drinking alone for Jack. He says he didn’t feel normal unless he had a buzz.
For Jack, he always knew that eventually his drinking would become a problem. He says at one point it was his dream goal to survive through the week with normal drinking and then have a weekend where he could get a lot of alcohol and just spend time by himself getting wasted.
Given his career as public defender, Jack found himself frequently helping others with addiction issues but was hesitant to do anything about his own thinking he would get around to it eventually.
A year before his quit date, Jack says he entered recovery. There were some traumatic events that found Jack moving out of the house he shared with roommates due to a disagreement and breaking up with a girlfriend. He moved back into his childhood bedroom and for the first time realized he wasn’t the victim in everything and had to take ownership of his part of things.
Jack decided it was time for change. He began doing the research, counting the days and celebrating the milestones. There were hiccups and Jack wants to remind those struggling that it is ok. We just keep trying and eventually we will get there. Jack says he identifies with the idea that in recovery we become better people than we were before.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
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Sobriety Tracker iTunes
RE YouTube