by Paul Churchill | Sep 3, 2018 | Podcast
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Jennifer, with 568 days since her last drink, shares her story…
Tracking your sobriety time – Do the numbers matter?
To begin with, know that it’s not a competition. We’re going for quality over quantity! We quit alcohol because we want to improve our lives. The end goal isn’t in the numbers, but in the increase in one’s quality of life. Removing alcohol was the first step in a journey of getting to know ourselves, finding out what we really want from life and making the best of each and every day. The real tracker is how you feel about who you are, where you’re going and what is meaningful in your life.
SHOW NOTES
[9:52] Paul Introduces Jennifer.
Jennifer is 36 years old from Cleveland, OH. She has 3 cats and runs a business walking dogs.
[11:52] Describe to us your background with drinking.
She started drinking at 15. She always thought it was normal to binge drink. She thought it was a part of youth. Her drinking held pretty steady until her mid 30’s. She realized that we live in a drinking culture. She has often struggled with codependency. She never thought she was the problem. She always thought it was other people.
[16:29] Where was your lightbulb moment indicating you had to stop?
4 months before this recent attempt, she appeared on a podcast about addiction and codependency. She grew up with addiction in her family. She had to be the parent as a child. She had a negative image in her head of what an addict was, and because she wasn’t close to that image, she wasn’t able to see the progression of her own addiction. She began to realize that addiction has many forms by listening to other people’s stories and it gave her permission to acknowledge her own addictive behavior.
[21:52] How were you able to finally make the change when the time came?
She was exhausted by the idea of continuing to drink. Her own drinking behavior started to wear her out and she became tired and resentful. She wanted to be able to enjoy activities without alcohol. She went through a breakup and had to seek out grounding. Her hangovers were getting darker and more difficult. She began to fear the impact it was having on her health. She couldn’t handle the shame and embarrassment. She found Recovery Elevator and it helped give her the confidence to try and quit. She realized that she’s not alone. She didn’t really connect with AA when she tried it. Her first year of sobriety she kind of transferred her alcoholism to workaholism. She didn’t realize there were options other than AA. She didn’t realize how much she needed people until she started talking to other people about being sober.
[31:30] How did you manage your early recovery?
She became hyper focused on her work. She tried to avoid social situations so she could avoid alcohol. She lost some friends.
[35:05] What are you working on now in sobriety?
She is working on maintenance. She wants to achieve big things in life but she’s trying to keep simple and to focus on taking care of herself and relaxing. She’s learning how to be kind to herself. She’s working on being able to regulate her emotional life. She realized that she used to be too focused on what others thought about her. She feels transformed on the inside, even though there is little change on the outside.
[41:00] What is the “Shift Doughnut”?
She used to work at the doughnut shop in Cleveland. She would just get a doughnut after her shift. She called them “shift doughnuts” but her coworker helped her realize that she was just stealing doughnuts.
[42:10] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking?Shortly after her 30th birthday, she went home with a lover and was raped after she blacked out. She tried to ignore it for a long time but in sobriety it bubbles up to the surface.
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment?She invented the Triple Pipe Classic, which is when you lose control of all bodily functions.
- What’s your plan moving forward?Learning to like herself, love herself, deepening her meditation practice. Learning to go slower and relax. She’s looking forward to the Café RE trip to Peru. She wants to travel more and do more things with her life.
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery?An app called Marco Polo. It’s like having a little therapist in your pocket. She feels like she is able to see thought patterns that she missed before. It’s easy to connect with people.
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)?Early in sobriety, someone said “You know you can start your day over at any time..”
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking?Don’t compare yourself out of recovery. Your recovery is your own. The only opinion of you that matters is your own. Alcoholism is a symptom of things not going well. Be grateful for the opportunity to sort yourself out. Also, be open to the idea that you may not know yourself like you think. What if you’re wrong about yourself? The story tape reel repeating in your head about yourself might be completely wrong. Be open to a new and better and you.
- You might be an alcoholic if…“you post a video on your social media channels of you home alone, drunk, dancing to Lady Gaga and juggling cigarettes.” Or “if you complete a Triple Pipe Classic”
Resources mentioned in this episode:
The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck – A book by Mark Manson
Marco Polo (Android) (iTunes) – An video chat app
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Kerri MacFarlane | Feb 15, 2026 | Alcohol Free, Blog, Healing, Miscarriage, Moms in Recovery, Womens health
Today’s blog entry is from Hali Morehouse. Hali is a member of Café RE.
Where Heartbreak Meets Redemption: A Story of Miscarriage, Faith, and Sobriety
By: Hali Morehouse
There I am—sitting in the brown chair, awaiting the doctor’s arrival, unaware that this moment would mark the beginning of a journey through miscarriage and sobriety. From the outside, one might see the image of a young woman who appears calm, confident, healthy, and mentally stable—never realizing that the upcoming conversation is about to crack her soul wide open and leave her heart broken, crumbled, and lost in the wilderness of the unknown.
I could see it in the doctor’s eyes—in her posture, her tone of voice, and in the way she carried the information throughout our conversation. Contained within the questions, concerns, and curiosity she expressed, the word miscarriage was the boulder that became the riverblock in my never-ending flow of life.
As that ten-letter word found its place inside my ears, the beats within my chest began to pound. Louder and louder—like a drum set being played inside a closed room. For a brief moment, my world began to spin. I could feel sweat forming in my palms as I nervously played with the rings on my fingers.
There it goes.
No pause. Only raw, deep, unfiltered tears. The internal dam burst wide open—broken into the smallest particles of rubble. Eyes red. Mildly bloodshot. My heart still pounding.
The Waiting, the Body, and Miscarriage and Sobriety
Gathering my personal items with all the strength I could muster, I walked down two flights of stairs to my next destination—the laboratory for a blood test. After placing my belongings in their designated spots, I sat once again in a thick, brown chair.
The internal waterfall, deep in the crevice of my soul, cried out to be released. It took every ounce of energy to pull back—to contain what felt like an ever-lasting flow—to place that dreadful STOP sign in front of my heart.
For the first time I can remember, my veins were visible—for the world to see, or in this case, for the nurses to see. A storm building. Bubbling violently.
Time slowed once that small yet powerful needle entered my arm. I tried—oh, how I tried—to engage in active conversation. But uncertainty filled the space. The unknown lingered. My vision and thoughts grew cloudy, as if I had entered a temporary black cloud.
Then, just as quickly, the needle was removed. A Band-Aid placed over the spot where my world shifted.
When Loss Becomes Real
That dreadful period—the waiting game from hell—where your heart pounds harder and harder, like sitting in the front row of a rock concert. External vibrations paired with internal panic, enough to bring a person to their knees. Unable to breathe. Unable to see clearly.
Oh, the dread. The devastating, anxiety-inducing dread.
My insides twisted into an absolute knot. I felt nauseous, though vomiting never came. As moments passed, my self-awareness heightened.
After the appointment, my fiancé and I headed home. Suddenly, my body felt different. A pinching—almost poking—sensation below my abdomen, deep within my pelvic region. Not painful, just noticeable. Stirring.
Once home, I went to the restroom.
And then it happened.
Blood—about the size of a small lemon—had left my body.
In that instant, my physical body entered a different realm. Where firmness and fullness had existed only moments before, there was now softness. Emptiness. Pure emptiness.
The Confirmation
The emptiness was indescribable.
Then—ding.
A notification from MyChart appeared on my phone. I opened the app and saw that my test results had arrived. Dread and panic returned instantly.
Based on my symptoms and the bleeding, a super-early miscarriage had either taken place or was coming to an end. The early signs of pregnancy I once felt had disappeared.
It was like watching a magician pull a rabbit from a hat—except there was no applause. No fascination. No joy.
Only fog.
My mind clouded with confusion, frustration, and deep sadness.
Faith in the Midst of Grief
In my 33 years of lived experience, I’ve learned there is no way to prepare for the tragedies, tribulations, trials, devastation, and loss that exist in this lifetime—the suffering that comes with living on this side of Heaven.
I am not promised an easy life.
But I am promised that I am never alone.
Through the darkest valleys, the highest mountaintops, the deepest oceans, and the strongest storms—I have remained, and will continue to remain, anchored to the foundation of my faith.
Miscarriage and Sobriety Are Not a Straight Line
Two days have passed since receiving the heartbreaking news of our miscarriage. In recovery, it is often said that miscarriage and sobriety are both non-linear journeys—and this truth deserves the highest regard.
Whether navigating recovery, returning to faith, or searching for light while walking through loss, a straight and narrow line is nowhere to be found. Expecting linearity to appear like a bright, flashing sign only creates roadblocks—or gravel roads—toward self-detriment.
Healing Through Community
One truth remains: when navigating miscarriage and sobriety, we cannot walk this path alone.
We were not created to journey in isolation. We are meant to embrace the gift—the blessing—the sacred gem of community.
The opposite of addiction is connection.
That connection arrived in my life through a global tribe: Café RE. As a fellow warrior within this community, I have laid my soul bare. I have shared from the darkest places of my heart. I have exposed my vulnerability completely—and in return, I have received unconditional love, compassion, grace, empathy, encouragement, and support from others who have faced their own battlefields and demons.
Choosing Belonging Over Fitting In
When we choose to stop trying to fit in with the outside world and instead discover the beauty of belonging, the right people will find us.
All we must do is remain still.
Honest.
Transparent.
Open-minded.
Willing to be vulnerable.
This is the magic of community.
“Sharing your story isn’t just a nice idea. It’s a neural intervention.”
Touch the Sky — Hillsong UNITED
by Kerri MacFarlane | Sep 15, 2025 | Alcohol Free, Early Sobriety, The first Year
Mental healing after quitting alcohol begins almost immediately—but it doesn’t always look the way we expect it to. Welcome to Part 2 of our three-part series on what happens in your first year alcohol-free. In this installment, we’re exploring the psychological and emotional recovery that takes place when you remove alcohol from your life.
In Part 1, we covered physical healing. Next month, we’ll wrap up with spiritual healing (don’t worry—it’s not about religion).
🧠 Mental Healing After Quitting Alcohol: What Happens in the First Week
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The first 24–72 hours? Don’t expect much mentally. Maybe a headache.
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Brain fog begins to lift by the end of the week (it doesn’t clear, just starts lifting).
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Suppressed emotions start showing up—this is a good thing. Let them come.
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Slight improvements in focus.
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Mood swings might hit hard. You may alternate between “I’m a radiant being of pure light” and “I’m the saddest human ever created” approximately every 23 minutes.
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Memory recall starts improving.
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Anxiety spikes, then begins to settle.
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Depressive symptoms lighten slightly. The internal weather shifts from “apocalyptic storm” to “light drizzle with a chance of sun.”
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Your self-image starts to shift. Shame softens, guilt fades.
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A quiet sense of morale reappears. Your inner cheerleader shows up to practice again—tentatively, but there.
💡Cognitive Changes in Sobriety: Mental Healing in the First Month
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Thoughts become clearer. Concentration improves. The mental fog now resembles a mist.
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Dopamine starts showing up for things like sunsets, puppy videos, and hugs—not just alcohol.
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Moods stabilize a bit. Emotional storms downgrade from hurricanes to unpredictable showers.
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The amygdala (fear center) calms down without the fuel of alcohol.
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Stress is managed more skillfully. You’ve already navigated a few sober challenges.
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Mental stamina improves—reading a whole book chapter or watching a full movie without checking your phone 17 times? Big win.
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You notice tiny sparks of joy in small things.
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Decisions start aligning with your values. Fewer time-travel regrets.
🔁 Psychological Recovery After Quitting Alcohol: Months 2–6
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Emotional regulation improves. You now respond instead of react—most of the time.
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You start seeing thoughts as thoughts, not truths. “I’m a failure” becomes “I had a thought that I’m a failure.” Huge shift.
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You start collecting emotional data—what triggered you, what helped, and what didn’t.
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Dopamine rewiring continues. Activities like hiking, reading, or deep convos become satisfying.
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Oxytocin joins the party—you might prefer puppy snuggles over pints.
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Melatonin returns to baseline. Sleep becomes a friend again.
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Emotions feel richer and more layered—life is now in emotional HD.
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Long-term memory returns. Gaps in memory shrink.
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Serotonin production stabilizes. Your brain is making its own joy—no booze required.
🎉 Mental Health After Stopping Drinking: What Year One Looks Like
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Significant brain tissue repair. The brain’s “skeleton crew” has been replaced by a full team with blueprints and fresh paint.
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Forgiveness becomes real—especially self-forgiveness.
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Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphin systems are functioning as intended. No artificial boosters needed.
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Shame and guilt dramatically reduce. You know you’re doing what’s right for your body, brain, and soul.
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You can be alone with your thoughts without needing to numb out, scroll endlessly, or eat three dozen cookies.
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Mental clarity returns—along with the belief that you can do hard things. (Maybe not calculus, but let’s keep expectations realistic.)
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Anxiety is mostly gone. What remains is manageable and often just excitement in disguise.
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Sadness and depression still happen—but they pass on their own, no longer swallowing you whole.
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You can problem-solve. IKEA furniture? Bring it on.
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Confidence and self-worth return. You are no longer on a path of destruction—you’re building something beautiful.
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Emotions become allies. You don’t run from them—you listen to them.
🚀 Mental Healing After Alcohol: Why It Only Gets Better From Here
This is just a short list of what’s possible in your first year alcohol-free. Mental healing continues far beyond 12 months. The longer you stay the course, the more peace, clarity, and confidence you build.
Maybe the biggest shift of all?
How you feel about yourself.
Because you’re not just quitting alcohol.
You’re choosing to live. Fully.
📖 Missed part 1? Check out the Physical Healing post here.
🧘 Stay tuned for next month: Spiritual Healing (No Religion Required).
#AlcoholFreeLife #MentalHealthRecovery #SobrietyTools #RecoveryElevator #WeDoRecover #ThisIsAF #SoberNotBoring #EmotionalGrowth #AFJourney
by Paul Churchill | Jul 10, 2017 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Paul discusses the webinar, which took place in Café Re, and focused on why taking action is so hard. It’s much better to focus on the action and not the results. We are definitely in a results oriented society. Focus on the journey and not the destination. Success can follow a flawed effort, and failure can follow a flawless effort.
If your happiness is predicated on your success, and if your success is predicated on a specific outcome, then you are setting yourself up for a high likelihood of frustration and disappointment. If you instead let go the need for any particular outcome, you increase your chances for success and contentment. View each attempt as practice for the next attempt.
Dawn with a sobriety date of November 27th 2016, shares her story.
SHOW NOTES
[8:09] Paul Introduces Dawn. I’m single, 42, and I’m from Poole in the U.K. In the daytime I work in accounts, in the evening I’m generally working on my blog. I love going out to dinner with friends, and walking to work. Set myself a challenge to do 10,000 steps a day.
[10:10] Paul- Tell us more about this experiment to live you life without alcohol.
Dawn- The plan was to give up alcohol for a year. I was struck down with flu, and I gave up alcohol then, instead of waiting until the New Year. I decided to write down my journey, and document it on my blog. It’s been filled with positivity.
[13:35] Paul- The way I’ve made it this far in sobriety, and been successful, is that I looking at it as an opportunity instead of a sacrifice. Is that something that you are experiencing as well? You’re looking at this as an opportunity instead of a sacrifice?
Dawn- Yeah, definitely. I don’t think I realized how unhappy I was drinking. I was more of a binge drinker than a drink everyday, drink in the morning type person. My weekend would be properly drinking from Friday through Sunday. Drinking copious amounts of alcohol to the point that I was sick the next day. I don’t see that as a sacrifice, giving that up that kind of mentality, since it was so much binging and purging.
[14:53] Paul- When did you first realize that perhaps that you wanted to quit drinking? Was it something that happened?
Dawn- I was conscience that I was drinking too much in one sitting, not remembering how I got home, kind of dangerous drinking really. If I drove somewhere I would have nothing, instead of a single glass of wine. Because if I had one, it wouldn’t stay at one. Once I started, it was difficult to stop.
[18:06] Paul- Can you tell me about a time when you started drinking and you found the “off switch” a little difficult to find? Was that progressive for you? Did it become harder and harder to stop?
Dawn- Yeah, I was born without an “off switch”. The first time I really remember getting drunk I was probably about 15 or 16. Early twenties living with friends, drinking was a massive part of our lives together. The men that I met were a massive part of that as well. It didn’t spiral rapidly.
[22:16] Paul- How are you staying sober now?
Dawn- It’s a matter of changing everything. I thought life would carry on the same. Everything has changed. I write a post for my blog at least once a week. Trying to keep other people encouraged to carry on. I used to always have a special drink as a reward for hard work. I no longer do that. I have a drink when I am thirsty.
[26:31] Paul- There’s a quote in recovery- You don’t have to change much, you just gotta change everything. Is that how it went down for you?
Dawn- I still struggle with the social side of things. I was the party animal. It’s difficult to go from that to- it’s dark and I’ve got to get home. I find it hard to socialize without alcohol. I’m not good with big crowds. I’ve come to terms that I won’t be that person again.
[28:40] Paul- What have you learned most about yourself in these past 6 months of sobriety?
Dawn- I’ve never really believed in loving yourself. Now I keep saying to people you have to love yourself. I haven’t loved myself for 40 years. I realized I’m not the person I thought I was. In my previous job I wasn’t really helping people and I didn’t think I could. It’s being confident in myself, rather than what other people think.
[31:31] Paul- How do you feel about alcohol being an addictive substance, and perhaps there is no void?
Dawn- For me, the feeling is what was addictive. I was the crier. Alcohol gave me an emotional release. For me it gave me an emotional release, woe is me! For a window of 15 minutes I would feel amazing, then I would go over the top. Then you’re miserable. I think really it was the way it made me feel for 15 minutes before the crying would start.
[33:27] Paul- What are your goals in sobriety?
Dawn- I’ve always wanted to go to Thailand. Stop waiting around for something to happen. I was too tired, and lazy, and in bed. Now I’m full of energy, and I’m going to make it happen on my own in January.
[35:18] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? Getting home, and waking up the next day at 4:00, and not remembering getting home in a taxi.
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? I was a drunk texter. Sometimes I couldn’t even touch my phone. They were my worst moments really working out who I had contacted the night before.
- What’s your plan moving forward? Keep the blog going beyond being sober. Maybe the hope rehab center in January. Listening to podcasts more than music, listening to other people’s journeys.
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? I love the online forums. Club soda, team sober UK, and listening to Podcasts. It is amazing listening to other peoples journeys
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? The best thing to do is go for each day at a time. Breaking it into chunks can work. Un-break the habit.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Never give up. I admire those who never give up. I recommend writing down how you’re feeling. I literally flooded my mind with sobriety.
- You might be an alcoholic if you find yourself questioning that you might be an alcoholic, then you probably are.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
dawn@soberfish.co.uk
http://www.soberfish.co.uk
http://www.belvoirfruitfarms.com/
Recovery Elevator Retreat
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Kerri MacFarlane | Aug 15, 2025 | Alcohol Free, Blog, Early Sobriety, Helpful Tips, The first Year
Physical Healing After Quitting Alcohol: Year One Overview
One of the most common questions I hear in Café RE is: What happens to your body after you quit drinking? While everyone’s recovery looks a little different, the first year is full of powerful changes. This post outlines what physical healing after quitting alcohol may look like in those early days, weeks, and months—highlighting how your body begins to repair itself as soon as you stop drinking. 🌸
🌬 Week 1: Detox & New Beginnings
During the first 7 days you may notice:
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Withdrawal symptoms peak then begin to clear
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Heart rate & blood pressure start normalizing
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Digestive lining begins repairing
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Sleep improves after the first few rough nights
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Hydration and inflammation drop
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Liver begins its amazing regeneration
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Dopamine systems rebalance—you may even crack a real smile
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Confidence returns—24 hours sober feels like a win
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You feel more… human, emotional, alive
🌟 Month 1: The Glow Emerges
By week 4, many report:
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Better liver function and bile production
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Less puffiness and clearer skin
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More stable weight and metabolism
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Brighter eyes & improved immune response
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Blood sugar regulation and less acid reflux
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Boosted energy levels and reduced caffeine dependence
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A noticeable glow and curiosity—“Maybe I could do a 5K?”
🧭 Six Months: Strength Returns
Around the six-month mark, your inner systems realign:
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Reduced stress responses and cortisol levels
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Increased neurogenesis—new brain cells 🧠
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Cardiovascular improvements and steady liver enzymes
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Better stamina—stairs don’t feel like a mountain climb
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Friends may sense “something different”—your energy shifts
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A true inner glow begins to radiate
🏃♀️ One Year: Full-Body Recalibration
In your first sober year, expect:
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Ongoing liver regeneration
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Lowered risk of heart disease and certain cancers
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Balanced hormones and metabolism
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Deeper, more consistent sleep
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Improved insulin sensitivity
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Skin renewal and a luminous complexion
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A new steady state in weight and energy levels
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A renewed spark in your eyes—healing really is in the gaze
🩺 External Evidence
Research from Johns Hopkins Medicine confirms this—especially the liver’s ability to recover from early alcohol-related injury, including fatty liver and alcoholic hepatitis, when drinking stops.
🤔 About Weight & Expectations
Weight change varies—some lose, others gain. Instead of stressing, let your body find its natural setpoint. Trust its wisdom and let reassurance follow: your body wants to heal.
🎧 Have You Listened to RE 531?
Tune into – RE 531: What to Expect When We Put the Bottle Down to hear Paul’s full intro and supporting research. Or join our insightful conversations in Café RE.
🔑 Final Takeaway
Healing starts with your body. It’s quiet, ongoing, and profoundly real.
That glow in your eyes? It’s the beginning of a lifelong recovery.
