RE 241: Life Synergies

RE 241: Life Synergies

Dan took his last drink on July 28, 2018.  This is his story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On today’s episode Paul talks about how we need to read his book, and others like it, with pride.  We have to shred the shame and ditch the stigma.

He shares a letter he received from someone that attended the Recovery Elevator Retreat in Bozeman recently, and as she was reading Alcohol is Sh!t on the plane the lady sitting next to her asked about the book.  And she was able to share.  Turned out the lady was on her way to help her daughter who had relapsed and needed to hear everything she had to say.

SHOW NOTES

 

[10:10] Paul introduces Dan. 

 

Dan is a father of 3, has a daughter in college and the youngest is 14.  He works as a retail executive.  He lives in New York and enjoys cycling.

 

[12:45] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Dan says he started drinking in high school and drank all through college.  He says that drinking is a big part of the business world and he fell right into that.  He didn’t realize he had an issue, but his wife did.  He said he was drinking 5-6 drinks a night.

 

[15:35] Talk to us about how you asked yourself, “how can I quit?”.    

 

Dan says he called a hypnotist to get some help, but after his initial call to her he never followed up.  About a month later, on July 29, 2018, he was in a bad bicycle accident.   His doctors took great care of him and he hasn’t had a drink since.

 

[18:10] What happened after the accident?

 

He had a bad brain injury so was told that he should not drink, if he did, he could have a seizure or a stroke.  After 10 days Dan came home from the hospital only to find out that his wife had removed all the alcohol from the house.  Dan says that was like being asleep and thrown into an ice-cold pool.  His brother told him he needed to go to AA so he walked into one only to feel like he didn’t belong.  He left that meeting angry and determined to show everyone wrong.

 

[24:05] How are you feeling now?

 

Dan says it’s a little bit of ‘he’s going to show them (his friends and family)’ and it’s a little bit of he likes the way he feels and he looks.

 

[26:47] You were told by your doctor not to drink for a year, because of the chance for a stroke…did you ever have the thought when that year was up to pick up a drink?

 

Dan says no, in fact he went to the conference he was supposed to be at the year before and never thought about it.

 

[28:17] At your yearly physical you asked your doctor if you could now have a glass of wine, and he asked you, “why would you?”, can you answer that question?

 

Dan says because of the social aspect, he admits to missing it.

 

[39:20] Dan talk to us about that connected feeling. 

 

Dan is feeling connected to life and not the alcohol.  He is feeling more connected to his family.

 

[40:25] What’s on your bucket list for an alcohol-free life?

 

Going to a sporting event AF and seeing what that’s like and racing again.

 

[43:00] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

When I was at my physical and I asked my doctor if I could have a glass of wine and he leaned across the table and asked, “why the F would you?”.

 

  1. What’s a memorable moment a life without alcohol has given you?

 

A better connection with my children and my wife.

 

  1. What is your favorite poison free drink?

 

Diet Coke, I drink too much of it.  I also like a nice latte.

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?  

 

My favorite resources would be my family, cycling, I have a lot of resources at work too.

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

It’s not all about work, life is a balance, and the more pressure you’re under you need a release and a hobby.

 

  1. You might have a drinking problem if…

 

You’re a business person that the alcohol is incorporated into the fabric of your life.

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

ZipRecruiter

This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator

 

 

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside out.”

RE 240: How do I Make it Stop?

RE 240: How do I Make it Stop?

Rose took her last drink on March 12, 2019.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your copy on Amazon here!

On today’s episode Paul talks about Recovery Elevator Bozeman Retreat that took place this past August.  One of the speakers at the retreat was a spiritual teacher that Paul has worked with, Elaine Huang, you can find out more about her here.

And a BIG thank you to the sponsors of the retreat.

Nutzo, an organic 7-nut seed butter, that provided a jar of said butter to everyone that attended!

Rise Brewing Co., provided Nitro Cold Brewed Coffee!

Fire Brew, an apple cider-based health tonic, provided shots for everyone!

And tajín, a seasoning blend of lime, chili peppers and sea salt, provided a bottle of zing for all!

The cool thing is that these sponsors wanted to be a part of this event.  Thank you to Odette who worked hard in setting it all up!

SHOW NOTES

 

[22:20] Paul introduces Rose. 

 

Rose is 37 years old.  She is from New Zealand but is currently living in France.  Rose is a physiotherapist by trade, but her degree is not recognized yet in France so she is teaching English.  She is a newlywed and they have a 3-year-old son.  For fun Rose likes to cook, sing, be outdoors, and go to gigs.

 

[25:20] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Rose started drinking as a teenager.  She says she grew up in a loving family but that everyone was a boozer, that it was normal.    At 18 she went off to university but dropped out after 2 years because it was getting in the way of her drinking.  She moved cities in search of new drinking friends and for the next 5 years was in an abusive relationship.  Rose says she spent a good chunk of her 20’s getting out of, and recovering from, that relationship.

 

Rose then spent time on a friend’s large sailing boat and sailed to Fiji, continuing her drinking.  She then went home and started studying to become a physiotherapist.  Rose says she slowed her drinking down while she was studying.

 

[28:25] What happens next? 

 

Rose got her degree, got a great job in a hospital where she wanted to work.  In 2016 she had her son.  She says after the birth of her son she fell into the ‘mommy drinking’ culture.  Rose also started to feel like an imposter.  Promoting health at work but doing the very opposite personally.

 

[32:20] Was there anything in particular that led you to ditch the booze?

 

Rose says a big part of it was moving to France in 2017.  She found France’s drinking culture to be the polar opposite of New Zealand’s which made her feel out of place.  Even though she knew she needed to stop her drinking ramped up at the beginning of this year after the death of a close friend.

 

[35:15] What happened on March 12th

 

Rose says she had started to drink during the daytime, when she wasn’t on pick-up duty with her son.  She also started smoking cigarettes.  She started feeling guilty about not being present as a parent.  She reached out to an American friend she had met on that sailing ship that was posting about being sober.  This friend led her to Café RE.

 

[38:50] How did you do it?

 

Rose says she told her husband, creating some accountability.  Her husband was very supportive.  The removed all the alcohol from the house and Rose declined engagements for a while.  She joined Café RE and jumped in and starting participating and getting involved.

 

[48:50] How have things changed in an alcohol-free life?

 

Rose says she’s a better mother, she’s present.  She has an increase in self-love and self-worth.

 

[55:05] Rapid Fire Round

 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Pineapple and lime sparkling water.

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?  

 

I loved The Joy of Being Sober book.    I also really love Josh Korda’s Dharmapunx podcast.   There is a New Zealand woman named Lotta Dann and she has a book, and blog, by the same name called, Mrs. D is Going Without.

 

  1. What’s on your bucket list now that alcohol isn’t part of your life?

 

A lot more travel, I love to travel.  To be able to help someone else get sober.

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Connect, connect with people.  Look for the similarities and not the differences.

 

  1. You might have a drinking problem if…

 

You’re drinking wine out of a coffee mug just so the neighbors won’t know because it’s 11 AM on a Monday.

 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up.”

RE 238: Ditch the Only

RE 238: Ditch the Only

Brandi took her last drink on July 17, 2019.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book was released 2 days ago!  Pick up your copy on Amazon here!

On today’s episode Paul talks about one of his pet peeves…the word “ONLY”.   For example, when someone says they have ‘only’ been sober for 3 days, 10 days, 2 weeks, etc.… We need to change this way of thinking, any amount of time away from alcohol is a major win.

The word ‘only’ equals limited, represents a lack of, and we want to be careful with this idea and energetic vibrations that encompass the word.

SHOW NOTES

 

[9:30] Paul introduces Brandi. 

 

Brandi is from Franklin, TN.  She is 48 years old and works in healthcare.  She has a 12-year-old daughter and for fun Brandi likes to make her own greeting cards, write poetry, and ride horses.

 

[14:50] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Brandi says she drank some in high school and college, but that she didn’t really enjoy it.  She says it wasn’t until she was 33-34 years old that she started to see alcohol as a problem.

 

In 2012 she started to notice how alcohol was impacting her life, her physical wellbeing, her job, and the people around her.  2 years ago, she was drinking about 2 bottles of wine a night, every day.

 

[23:00] Where do you think your self-loathing came from?

 

Brandi says it came from a lot of things; missed moments with her daughter; lost time; missed conversations.

 

[33:30] Tell us how the last 2 weeks have been?

 

Brandi says they have been good.  She felt a little of the pink cloud.  She’s been trying to do things differently, like getting up earlier.  She started a morning routine that includes her affirmation books.

 

[39:00] What’s your plan moving forward?

 

Brandi says she is going to be better at reaching out to people.  She plans on getting back to some meetings that she has gone to in the past.  Getting back to her morning routine.  She wants to slowly get back to the things she enjoys doing for fun.  Brandi says a big one for her is stepping outside her comfort zone.

 

[40:40] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve found on this journey?

 

How many times have I thrown wine glasses away.

 

  1. What is a memorable moment that sobriety has given you?

 

Sitting with my daughter, watching Disney movies, just being goofy and she put on Elton John and we just started dancing.

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Unfortunately, it’s Diet Dr. Pepper, but lemonade takes a close 2nd.

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?  

 

My friends that know me, my affirmation books.

 

  1. What’s on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

I used to travel; I want to go find a really cool place to take my daughter.  I want to do the things I used to do with her and start making memories.  Also, to get back into making my cards again and moving forward with dreams I had at making that part of my lifestyle.

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Even if it’s hard to step out, to reach out, it doesn’t have to be huge, just that one little thing that will change your path.

 

  1. You might have a drinking problem if…

 

Before you buy that next bottle of wine you have to figure out where you are in your rounds through your wine stores so you don’t hit one too soon.

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Honey

This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at www.joinhoney.com/elevator . Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you’re shopping online

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – Alcohol is shit…and we both know it.”

RE 234: The Scientist

RE 234: The Scientist

Tiffany took her last drink on July 14, 2018.  This is her story.

On today’s episode Paul talks about the DUIs he didn’t get.  For those of you that may not know what a DUI is…it is Driving Under the Influence, with a BAC that is higher than .08.

Those missed DUIs, going all the way back to one in 2006, in which he was following behind a friend that was drunk behind the wheel, rolled his vehicle and passed away with a BAC of .33…were a contributing factor in Paul telling himself he didn’t have a drinking problem.

He told himself he didn’t have a drinking problem because he didn’t have any DUIs.  Paul has said, ‘the only line you can cross, but cannot come back from, is death’.  He hopes that Adrian’s story can help save the life of someone listening to this podcast.

SHOW NOTES

 

[16:05] Paul introduces Tiffany. 

 

Tiffany is originally from Connecticut but has been in Maryland for the last 10 years.  She is a property manager and a licensed captain.  She is 35 years old, single and has no kids.  She enjoys hiking and recently has discovered she likes to macramé, and has been doing a lot of that.  DIY crafts and projects around her house bring her joy.

 

[18:15] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Tiffany started dinking when she was in 7th grade.  Drinking was the not the norm for her family or in her household growing up.  It wasn’t until she was in junior high and spending more time at friends’ houses that she was exposed to drinking being the norm.  Jr. high and high school was a lot of binge drinking on weekends.  Towards the end of high school Tiffany was more interested in being at work, she was working at a horse farm, and partying with her friends than being at school.  Work and partying became her priority and school was at the bottom of the totem pole.  She says she was a big pothead and felt that she could take, or leave, alcohol.

 

[20:50] When did you reach the moment when you couldn’t take it, or leave it? 

 

In 2006, when Tiffany was 21, she left everything behind and moved to New Zealand to work on a schooner.   She says that is when the switch happened.  Wine was everywhere.  She started to think of drinking as a reward for having a hard day, rather than just something she would binge on.

 

[22:45] Talk to us about the years between 21 and 34.

 

While on the schooner they went through a bad hurricane during a voyage.  Tiffany says it was terrifying, and it was at that time her drinking shifted from drinking as a reward for a hard day, to drinking to get out of her head.  She says she came home from that experience different, and that it is still something she is working through.

 

It was at this time she was drinking to not feel her feelings, and she started to isolate rather than drink socially.  In 2007 she moved to Baltimore and moved in to a neighborhood that was filled with bars, making it easy for her to drink and not be questioned.

 

[26:00] Get us up to speed closer to your sobriety date.

 

Between 2009-2012 not a lot really happened.  Tiffany says her drinking stayed about the same, she was still isolating amongst her group of drinking friends.  In 2014 she got into a relationship, that didn’t work out, but it was the first time she had ever heard someone refer to her as an alcoholic.

 

[26:45] What was it like hearing that?

 

Up until that time she says she had had a lot of nights that she regretted but that this was the first time she felt embarrassed.  This prompted Tiffany to lean into her isolation and she let all the self-negative talk that she had for herself beat her down.

 

In 2017 she was so depressed and isolating that she was afraid to leave her house unless it was for work.  Because she couldn’t control her drinking, she felt like she was failing in everything other than work.

[28:44] You said you knew you didn’t want to drink, but that all you knew was a life with drinking…talk to us about how that felt. 

 

It was insanity.  A snapshot of what felt like a normal day for Tiffany involved her waking up with a hangover, feeling like hell, getting herself together for work and then crying the whole way to work because she did not want to go home, because she did not want to drink again that night.  Her anxiety was crippling and things just didn’t get any better.  She lived like that for 3 years.

 

[30:20] What tipped the scales?

 

November 2017 Tiffany says she was at her bottom and she came across the Recovery Elevator podcast.  She hit play and binge listened to the episodes for a solid 2 weeks.

 

[33:55] What happened between November 2017 and July 2018?

 

Tiffany signed up for the RE Facebook group in June 2018 and made it 30 days AF.  On day 31 she walked into a store, thinking, “I got this”, and bought 5 bottles of wine and drank for 5 days.  She then decided she was done, drank all the alcohol in her house, and on July 14th 2018 had her last drink.

 

[44:00] So you got sober outside of AA?

 

Tiffany says that 12 step meetings are not for her, at least not right now.  She finds her peace and healing when she is outside of the rooms.  Knowing that she does need to talk to people and dive into some things

she did start talk therapy.

 

[45:56] What’s on your bucket list? 

 

The Asia trip is definitely being added.  Tiffany says she just wants to be happy.

 

[47:47] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. Worst memory from drinking?

 

My 18th birthday.  I got so drunk I fell down the side of a mountain and my friends had to drive me home.

 

  1. When was the moment you knew you needed to quit drinking?

 

That is a toss up between when I heard my ex say I was an alcoholic and when I started listening to this podcast.

 

  1. What is your plan moving forward?

 

Keeping connection and staying social.  I’m making the point to keep networking.

 

  1. What is your favorite resource in recovery?

 

Definitely Recovery Elevator podcast and the Café’RE group.

 

  1. In regards to sobriety what’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

 

That it’s ok not to have perfect day.

 

  1. What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?

 

If you think you have a problem you probably do.

 

  1. You might have a drinking problem if…

 

At the age of 15 you realize that if you only take shots, you don’t feel full, so you can drink more.

 

Upcoming retreats:

Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about these events here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Honey

This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at  www.joinhoney.com/elevator. Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you’re shopping online.

Zip Recruiter

This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator

Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”

RE 233: It’s Okay to Struggle

RE 233: It’s Okay to Struggle

Daz took his last drink on November 5, 2018.  This is his story.

This coming January Recovery Elevator is going to Thailand and Cambodia for 12 days.  Space is limited.  You can find more information about this event here

On today’s episode Paul discuses the double negative, not failing.  If you find yourself struggling to say no, to picking up a drink, you are not failing.  If you are not failing you are succeeding, accomplishing, flourishing, overcoming, conquering, thriving, winning, realizing your goal to become alcohol free.

Think about an accomplishment in your life that you are proud of.  Did that come without a struggle?   Most likely it did.  That struggle did not represent failure.  Growth is a big part of that struggle.

SHOW NOTES

[10:30] Paul introduces Daz. 

Daz is 43 years old, has been married for 5 years, and has 2 beautiful little girls.  He is from Vancouver Island and has lived in Vancouver for the last 17 years.  For fun Daz plays guitar, writes and records a lot of music, and his latest addiction is knowledge in recovery.

[13:31] Give us a background on your drinking.

When Daz was 13 he had his first drink, and first drunk.  At the age of 15 he was introduced to smoking pot which very quickly became a daily thing.  An honor roll student until his senior year of high school, when other drugs were introduced, and things really started to nosedive.

Daz didn’t start drinking regularly until he was 19.  It then quickly became a daily thing, helping him come out of his shell and be more social.  It became a staple that stuck with him through his 20s.

Daz hit his rock bottom on April 20, 2005.  He had gone through a really dysfunctional relationship and his life had completely veered off the path that he had expected.  He was ready to throw in the towel on life.  Daz called his parents at 2AM and told them he didn’t know what to do, that he thought he wanted to just go and finish it off.  His parents got him to come home and that was his first attempt to get sober. It lasted a couple weeks, through the Christmas holidays, and he attended his first AA meetings while there.

When he got back to Vancouver things went back to the way they had been for about another year.  He was struggling to get by, working in bars and drinking on the job.  Found himself in legal trouble and soon couldn’t pay his rent.  Daz says he was one step away from living on the street.

[19:00] That was early 2007, bridge the gap for us. 

Daz entered a 2-month treatment center and says that was the beginning of him starting to stand up and dust himself off.  It gave him time to think about what he was going to do with his life.  He worked in the fitness industry for a couple years.

He started to slide back into drinking but had enough of a foundation at this time, and had left some of the other drugs behind, that things were starting to get on the right path.

He moved from the fitness industry into the software business and started performing music in the evenings.  This gave him something to be excited about and even though he was still drinking he now felt he had a purpose.

Daz met his wife 7 years ago, 1.5 years later they had their first baby, and 2-3 years ago he went to the doctor and was told he had a fatty liver.

[21:55] What happened next?

He now has his 2nd baby and a fatty liver.  His doctor told him if he didn’t stop drinking, he would be dead in 10 years.  That was the motivation Daz needed.  He had gone through the 12 steps of AA while in the treatment center but just never felt like that was for him.  What he found was something called, Neuro Recover, which is an IV treatment where the person is hooked up to an IV for 8 hours a day, for 10 days.  He says he soon realized that being sober is not just about not drinking, it’s about rebuilding your body.

After a few months Daz went back ‘out’.  When he was ready to try again, he came with more of a plan and was going to include community.  He did the IV treatment for 3 days.

On day 5 he was having back and leg pain, anxiety, and feeling frustrated.  Daz says he was almost ready to go get alcohol.  Instead of going to the store for alcohol he recalled reading that L-glutamine can help with alcohol cravings.  Having some in his cupboard he drank some and says that instantly the craving was gone.  Daz started attending SMART Recovery soon after.

[32:32] What are your qualms about AA?

Daz says his biggest qualm is the powerless aspect.  He feels to overcome addiction you need to be empowered.

[39:16] What would you say to someone looking to get sober, that has tried AA, and is looking for something else?

Daz would suggest the SMART Recovery community, RE Café’ Facebook groups, L-glutamine.  He would tell them to stay connected with people, and that diet is important.

[44:14] What are your thoughts on relapse?

Daz says he doesn’t think relapse is a bad thing, that it is just part of the process.  He says people shouldn’t be too negative about it as long as you are continuing on and learning to understand yourself, the body, and how it works.

[47:41] Where does spirituality come into play on this journey?

Daz is not a religious person, per-se, but he thinks it’s really important for people to stop and look inward, and turn other things off.

[48:50] Rapid Fire Round

  1. Worst memory from drinking?

Driving down the road and not being able to keep his hands on the steering wheel because he was shaking so badly.

  1. What is your plan moving forward?

My plan moving forward is to finish my website that I have been working on, like I said, it’s EmpoweredNotPowerless.com.  Continue going to SMART meetings and I have some people that I am close to and to just continue to help each other. To continue to lead by example.

  1. What is your favorite resource?

Get yourself some glutamine, don’t leave out the supplementation part of recovery.  You’ve been killing yourself for years and your body needs to heal itself.  I would also shout out Omar Pinto and the SHAIR podcast.  Another book I would recommend is Addicted to the Monkey Mind.

  1. What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?

When it feels like it’s impossible, it’s not.

  1. You might have a drinking problem if…

You need to pull over on the side of the road because you can’t control your shaking.

 

Upcoming retreats:

Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about these events here

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”