Today’s blog entry is from Sher Bailey. Sher is a member of Café RE.
It’s Never Too Late to Quit Drinking: Better Late Than Never
By: Sher Bailey
Now seven months sober, I ask the question: How did I quit drinking? After trying so many things for so many years, what finally worked? I used to wonder if it was too late for me, but I’ve learned it’s never too late to quit drinking. While I’m not sure of the answer, I am hoping others on the sobriety journey can be helped by my suggestions. I am surprised at how many things I tried.
Listening to podcasts
Starting in 2015, I listened to thousands of podcasts from countless sources. No surprise that Paul’s Recovery Elevator was one of my first and still my favorite. A few years later, I started listening to Rachel Hart’s Take a Break from Drinking and more recently Deb Master’s Alcohol Tipping Point. I am in the habit of listening to podcasts while walking/jogging every day. Some times, I keep my Air Pods in while I run errands or make dinner.
Reading quit lit
I love to read, and I focused on my favorite subject: sobriety. I read Paul’s Alcohol is Sh!t, Holly Whitaker’s Quit Like a Woman, Byron Katie’s The Truth Behind Addiction and Laura McKowen’s We are the Luckiest and Push Off From Here. (I highly recommend the audio versions of both of Laura’s books Her story is full of pain and vulnerability, and her voice is too.) You name it, I read it. Seriously.
Therapy
For years, every time I walked in to a physician or therapist office the first words out of my mouth were “I drink every day and often too much.” I usually left with only the suggestion that I cut back or quit, but no real ideas on how. I tried two therapists who said they would use Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to address childhood trauma and the resulting depression and anxiety. I hoped by dealing with the underlying causes, my urge to drink would subside. But rather than experimenting with EMDR, I ended up doing talk therapy, a continuation of what I’d done off and on for decades.
Meditation/Hypnosis
Wise Monkey Way and Hypnozio are apps that talk you through meditations and hypnoses to curb the urge to drink. I listened to the Hypnozio recordings every day upon awakening for several months. But there was no immediate result. In addition to reading Holly Whitaker’s Quit Like a Woman, I listened to her 30 Days to a New Relationship with Alcohol on Audible. In this, Holly provides a 5-minute message or mantra that I listened to each morning and then, for the remainder of the day, thought about or meditated on. The messages include “I am allowed to say no” and “I allow myself to be surprised.” My very favorite of the series: “A part of me knows how to do this.”
My family
I can’t leave out the fact that in the past several years, my two adult sons and my husband got sober. At first their sobriety made me dig in with my drinking — just because they were now sober, didn’t mean I had to be.
Their sobriety planted seeds in me, even when I didn’t realize it. It reminded me that it’s never too late to quit drinking.
When you least expect it
And then one day, just before my 71st birthday (that’s right, 71), I realized I was no longer interested in drinking. That moment taught me it’s never too late to quit drinking. It was a Sunday, and the night before I’d had two or three vodka/sodas, which was a minimum for me. But when I went to bed, I experienced the spins and only avoided getting sick by going to sleep. I’ve never looked back. My first thought every morning is: I am grateful. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Other than when I was pregnant or taking a break for a few weeks here and there, I drank daily for 50 years. I had begun to feel that it was too late for me to quit. Besides, almost everyone I’d met or read were much, much younger than me. If that’s you, I’m happy that you will quit drinking with so much of your life ahead of you.
Everything counts
So what worked? I think it was everything. Convinced that hypnosis or therapy or all the other activities weren’t helping, I backed off even trying. And lo and behold, the cycle stopped.
I can’t say every day is easy but most are. When I think about having a drink, I play the tape forward, as so many people have suggested, and realize I don’t want to feel bad the next day because I so much enjoy waking up earlier, being fully-rested and ready for the day. Now I’d like to help others, no matter how young or old, enjoy sobriety too.
As in life, nothing you are doing or have done is a waste. Every podcast you hear, every word you read, every day you focus on drinking less or not at all holds meaning. It truly is never too late to quit drinking.
Because, after all, part of you knows how to do this.
