by Paul Churchill | Mar 16, 2020 | Podcast
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Janine took her last drink October 6, 2019. This is her story.
If you have ever wanted to attend a Recovery Elevator event you should get yourself to Denver in June for the Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind – June 11-14th, 2020. This event will be, essentially, the closeout event for Recovery Elevator. You can find more information about our event here.
On today’s episode Paul talks about your comfort zone, why it’s important to have one, why it is so important to get outside of it, and how it is possible to get too far out of it. The true authentic you doesn’t exist in your comfort zone. Stepping outside your comfort zone even once, makes it easier that you’ll do it again.
As for ditching the booze, here are some strategies in regards to the comfort zone. Instead of quitting forever, aim for one day, or 50% of the days in a month. Burning the ships? Go at your own pace. 90 meetings in 90 days too much, aim for 1 a week, then 2 a week.
[20:00] Paul introduces Janine.
Janine is 32 years old and is from Pensacola, FL. She is married and has a 9-month-old daughter. Janine is a former kindergarten teacher. For fun she likes to go to the beach with her family, walking her dog and spending time with her daughter.
[24:00] Give us a background on your drinking.
Janine took her first drink when she was 17-years-old and she immediately loved the feeling it gave her. Through college she feels she drank like every other college student. Janine says her drinking didn’t take off until she started her teaching career, and that gradually over the years she was drinking more and more.
When she met her husband, and knew that it was something serious, she says she knew that she was going to have to do something about her drinking.
[26:45] Talk to us about the methods you used to try and control your drinking.
Janine said she tried them all. Switched from liquor to wine/beer. Still getting backout drunk after switching to wine she tried drinking a glass of water after every glass of wine. Not drinking during the week, but even when that worked, she was still getting blackout drunk all weekend.
[28:15] Was there a time when fear came in and you didn’t think you could stop?
Janine said yes, that that is exactly what happened.
[30:30] Can you tell us a little about postpartum depression?
Janine said for her she felt like she lost some of her identity, her whole life now revolved around another human being. She had days when she would look in the mirror and not even recognize herself. Her emotions were all over the place. Janine ended up going to her doctor and getting on antidepressants, but was still drinking.
[35:00] Tell us what happened next.
After trying to modify, by having no alcohol in the house, Janine said she went and bought 2 bottles of wine and drank them one night after the baby was in bed. She got blackout drunk, sent strange texts, and spent the next day crying and filled with anxiety. She couldn’t deny it anymore, she knew she had a problem and couldn’t control it.
Later that day her dad, a recovering alcoholic himself, called Janine. She says his first words were, “I just felt I needed to call and hear your voice.”. Janine said she just lost it and opened up to him for the first time.
[40:30] What was that first AA meeting like and what happened after that?
Janine said she was terrified to go that first meeting, but that after the meeting people came up and were very friendly. She said she was also comforted by the fact that there were other teachers there. She was still feeling like her life was over that first week.
[44:14] Was there a challenging moment when you wanted to drink, and how did you get past it?
Janine said she had several in the beginning. She said when those times came up, she would call a friend, or call her sponsor.
[45:25] How has the relationship with your husband changed?
Janine says her husband fully supports her and has also quit drinking. She feels like their relationship has gotten a lot deeper.
[54:30] Rapid Fire Round
- What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?
I would say when I made that last attempt to control my drinking by not having alcohol in my house
- What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you?
Spending my daughter’s 1st Christmas completely sober.
- What’s your favorite alcohol-free drink?
I am a big fan of water.
- What are some of your favorite resources?
I enjoy this podcast; I don’t get to attend AA meetings as much as I would like but I also enjoy reading.
- What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol?
I am actually thinking about taking up blogging.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
If you know in your heart that you can’t control your drinking anymore, don’t listen to the lies that your mind is telling you.
You might need to ditch the booze if…
You get blackout drunk while watching Dateline.
Upcoming Events and Retreats.
Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind – in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020
You can find more information about our event here.
The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this.”
by Paul Churchill | Feb 24, 2020 | Podcast
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Vinny took his last drink 9 ½ years ago. This is his story.
On today’s episode Paul talks about change. Whether you like it, or not, you are always changing. You’re either building new circuits or adding new blockages to your energy field. With an addiction it’s either gaining momentum or you’re lessening the energetic bonds of the addiction. You must make time to always do the work.
[15:45] Paul introduces Vinny.
Vinny is 61 years old and lives in Bangkok. For fun Vinny like to read, watch a good TV series, going to meetings and helping people.
[19:20] Give us a background on your drinking.
Vinny discovered alcohol in his late teens and continued to use it for 10 years. The next 10 years involved alcohol and smoking marijuana. He added crack to the mix and became a crack addict for the following 5 years. He went to 2 treatment centers and didn’t get clean until 2004. He hit his bottom while living (homeless) in Las Vegas. He managed to get sober after that and it lasted 3 years.
[22:45] What in your message you want to get out?
Vinny says that recovery can be simple. Simple means it’s not complicated.
[27:13] How can thinking get us into more trouble?
Vinny says that most of us do not think, or see, very clearly. He says we act based on the false evidence we see in front of us, so obviously if we are not relating to reality, we are always going to make the wrong choices.
[30:05] What do you see is the biggest challenge that someone on this journey will face?
Vinny says he thinks that people have the illusion that they have to do it all themselves.
[38:05] What do you think addiction is and where do you think it comes from?
Vinny says he doesn’t know where addiction comes from, and that it doesn’t matter.
[44:00] Talk to us a little bit about self-loathing.
Vinny says self-loathing is shame.
[46:35] Talk to us about burning the ships and being honest with others.
Vinny says that sometimes we are not even aware that we aren’t honest with ourselves.
[52:30] Do you think that someone can become recovered?
Vinny says if you want to use the word recovered in the present moment, yes. If recovered means you are cured, then no.
[54:50] Rapid Fire Round
- What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?
Pepsi-Cola
- What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you?
The energy here at my job, on a Saturday afternoon, seeing 30 recovering people connect with each other.
- What’s some of the best advice you’ve ever received?
Don’t take yourself too seriously.
- And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Take responsibility for yourself.
You might need to ditch the booze if…
You are a healthcare provider and you are taking care of somebody that needs you, and you have ran out of booze at 3 o’clock in the morning, and you abandon him and go and get booze.
Upcoming Events and Retreats.
Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind – in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020
Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach – October 8 – 18th, 2020
You can find more information about our events here.
The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
ZipRecruiter
This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this.”
by Paul Churchill | Apr 15, 2019 | Podcast
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Brad, with a sobriety date of August 31, 2018, shares his story.
Paul talks about the ‘now’ and ways we can ground ourselves while we find ourselves taking this thing one day at a time. At some period in our journey we will find ourselves logging our days in our tracker like it ‘ain’t no thing’. Then there are other days when we wake up and keeping the mind in check can be a constant struggle. Paul shares some of his own favorite personal techniques that he uses to ground himself.
- Acknowledge what is really happening.
- Think in terms of “we” rather than “I”
- Take your shoes off and walk barefooted outside.
- You are nature…take time to go out in your natural setting, nature.
- Slow down.
- Do not multitask
- Pay close attention to the body
- Go from saying, “I can get through this’, to saying, “I AM getting through this”.
- Go with the gut.
- Last one is I tell myself “Dude, Paul…this isn’t you!”
If you have a grounding technique that you use, that isn’t listed here, email it to Paul and put “Grounding Techniques” in the subject line.
SHOW NOTES
[12:10] Paul introduces Brad
Brad is 31 years old and is from Fort Wayne, Indiana. He is a traveling salesperson and sells health care products to providers. He is married and has a daughter. For fun he likes to golf and recently has joined a kick boxing gym.
[14:15] Give us a little background about your drinking.
Brad was a good kid all through high school. At 17 he had a job as a barback where he learned a lot about alcohol. He was pretty much alcohol free all through college. When he was 20 years old he went to England and that is when he started to drink, not having too many sober days while there.
Later, at 21 years old, he is back in the states working as a resident assistant and is spending as much time as he can at the bar. Later he moved back home into his parent’s basement and was sneaking off to the bars, rather than spending time with them, as much as he could. This is where he met his wife.
They got married and, on their honeymoon, because he had had so much to drink, he almost drowned himself. He continued to drink the duration of the honeymoon. Fast forward to his wife being pregnant with their daughter, a lot of changes taking place in their relationship and he is no longer the focus of it.
After his daughter was born, he was laid off from his job. He spent a lot of his nights, while helping care for his daughter, drinking heavily. In January of 2018 his grandfather committed suicide. Brad found another job and then there was a spiral from June to August, 2018. August 31, 2018, he got pulled over for drunk driving. He hit his bottom in a jail cell. The next day his dad took him to his first AA meeting. After appearing in front of a judge he his charges where dropped.
[19:40] Talk to us about a couple moments where the writing was on the wall (before your sobriety date).
He missed a flight home because he was drinking in the airport bar. Spending too much time drinking after golf.
[23:15] Did you ever try and quit before your sobriety date?
He tried to moderate, but never felt that the problem was great enough to quit.
[26:25] Walk us through the 3 options you gave yourself after your DUI.
Laying on the cot in jail, after just calling his wife who was driving all over Fort Wayne looking for him, he realized he had 3 options. He could run, he could figure out his life was meaningless, or he could get help. So he picked getting help. Getting to a meeting the next day and, if his wife didn’t divorce him, he could live in his parent’s guest bedroom until they figure it out. For 2 months after that he was going to AA meetings every day, making living amends to his wife every day, and going to work. On day 4 he found the Recovery Elevator podcast.
[31:25] Talk to us about burning the ships with your mom, dad, and wife.
His wife was pissed, his parents were in shock. He told them how he missed flights because of drinking, and how he needed to have a drink to help him sleep. His parents were in tears, but supportive. His wife told him that if he ever drank again, she was taking their daughter and would be gone.
[33:37] How did it feel when you let your parents and your wife know what’s going on with you?
A small weight was lifted, but there was an extreme sense of guilt. It felt freeing but he also knew he had a lot of work to do.
[34:45] Talk to us how the charges were dropped and then the bomb you got about the charges on January 31, 2019.
He appeared in court, expecting the worst, and was told ‘case dismissed’. That was not one of the options he was prepared for. His attorney told him to go live his life. His new life was to not touch alcohol, continue with his sobriety and his meetings, and that’s what he did. Sometime later he got a call from a friend, who is an attorney, that infored him that his case was back up. His case had been refiled. He was booked, back in and out of jail, sober this time. He was ready to accept responsibility. He called his employer and told them that he may need something to ‘blow into’ so he can drive. He realized that he may lose his job over this. He was fighting and was doing it sober.
[39:26] I feel like this is going to be a good thing for you Brad, how do feel about it?
Brad agrees. It has made him live day to day. It has made him mad at alcohol. He has stopped focusing on himself and more on his wife. It has helped him get through his 4th and 5th step.
[41:45] How did you get and stay sober?
He did a lot of candy eating. He did his best at doing the 90 AA meetings in 90 days. He tried not to put any pressure on his wife to forgive him. He tried to show what he wanted through his actions and not his words. He goes to a therapist/marriage counselor.
[43:47] What do you feel you were using alcohol to cover up?
He says he’s awkward and that there was some abuse growing up. Possibly some depression. Mostly it was just to find connections with other people.
[47:50] Rapid Fire Round
- When was your ah-ha moment?
When I was in an airport boozing with a pilot.
- What have you learned about yourself on this journey?
That it is OK to ask for help and OK to be vulnerable.
- What is you plan in sobriety moving forward?
I want to be a resource to help people.
- In regards to sobriety what’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
Stop kicking your own butt.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Never be afraid to reach out, you are never alone.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
If you switch from Maker’s Mark to vodka on the back nine because you think you play better with vodka in your system than whiskey.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
This episode is brought to you by the language learning app Babbel and right now, my listeners can try
Babbel for free. Download the app, or text Elevator to 48-48-48
This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Apr 1, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Ashley, with 192 days of sobriety, shares her story.
Paul talks about how alcohol is the invitation. What is this invitation? It’s called addiction. Depending on how you RSVP you could have a life filled with infinite joy. The fact that you are listening to this podcast right now is a good clue as to how you’re going to RSVP. At first the invitations may not show up with enough frequency to connect the dots. But, sooner or later, these invitations will start to show up more frequently, once a year, once every 6 months, once a week, once a day in every aspect of our lives. For many that struggle with addiction they ignore this invitation their entire lives and it is not pretty. If we stick to this long enough it will become clear that our addiction is the best thing that has happened for us.
For those of you listening, you have earned your invitation. Keep in mind the pain and suffering required to initiate this positive change in behind you. This thing called life, if it hasn’t already, is about to get good. So how will you RSVP to this invitation?
SHOW NOTES
[12:30] Paul Introduces Ashley.
Ashley lives in Chicago, IL with her sister and their 2 dogs. She is single and is 31 years old. She recently finished cosmetology school and is currently an apprentice to become a hair stylist at a salon in the city. For fun Ashley likes to cook, enjoys music and going to concerts, power lifting, meditation, and is back playing soccer.
[14:30] Give us a little background about your drinking.
She was 13/14 years old the first time she got drunk, in her neighbors’ basement. She remembers going home and telling her mom that she had been drinking, and that she got sick. During high school she hung out with a lot of different crowds so went to, and drank at, a lot of parties. She says she knew right away that she had a problem. From the moment she would start drinking she would fixate on how she could drink more.
When she got into college, she hit the ground running with partying. She did a lot of partying and blacking out, had a lot of fun and didn’t get into any sever trouble, which she says, she thinks is why she continued to drink like she did. In the back of her mind she was telling herself that once she was done with college things would change and she would grow up.
After college she moved to Chicago and continued to drink on the weekends (Thursday-Sunday), which felt normal to her. When she was 25, she woke up one morning, grabbed her phone, and Googled “what is an alcoholic?”.
At 27, after a relationship that ended badly, she found herself in a super dark place. She was depressed, having panic attacks, eating disorder flair ups, drinking, and drugging. She managed to pull herself out of that dark place, and to prove to herself that she didn’t have a problem she didn’t drink for 30 days.
[22:15] What was it like when you did prove it to yourself and not drink for 30 days?
She felt she had it under control, although she continued to do drugs. Then she slowly started drinking again until she was drinking more than she was before the 30 days. She started blacking out every time she drank.
After a really bad incident with her ex she walked into AA. She made it 65 days before she went back out for another year and ½. That year and ½ it got even worse, she was drinking hard and using a lot of drugs.
On July 23, 2018 she came clean with her doctor and walked back into AA where she found an amazing group of women and her home group.
[28:37] Comment a little more about honesty.
Because of her issues with depression and anxiety her whole life she had been in/out of going to therapists. She said she always lied to them about her alcohol/drug use. After also being diagnosed bi-polar she knew she had to come clean with her doctors.
[32:15] Why do you think you drank?
She said that to begin with, alcoholism runs in her family. She wanted to escape from the feeling of having to micromanage her up/down feelings all the time and that unfortunately she thinks she was just made for it.
[36:00] How did you do it? You talked about AA, what else did you do to get sober?
She stopped going to the places where she always drank, like concerts and bars. She sought out a higher power. She started running. She made sure she got to her AA meetings and listened to the podcast, of course.
[38:00] Tell us how you got through your week-long family reunion during the early days of your sobriety.
With about a week of sobriety she tried to look at the trip as a way to take advantage of the beautiful nature, instead of a big party. She listened to podcasts and hiked. With only a week of sobriety she wasn’t comfortable telling her family yet, and she was terrified of failing if she did.
[42:15] After burning the ships on FB you mentioned you got reactions you didn’t expect, what kind of reactions did you expect??
She thought that people really wouldn’t care, or that they would think that it would change who she is. She didn’t expect all the positive response.
[43:30] Talk to us about some wins in sobriety.
She can fly with out hitting the airport bar first. She can go to concerts and remember everything. She can go out with friends and have fun without drinking.
[44:50] What is something you learned about yourself during this journey?
She is super sensitive and can feel others emotions which used to be scary, but now that she is sober, she has learned how to use it to help other people.
[46:38] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your absolute worst memory from drinking?
My mom had surgery one time and we were in the recovery room and I was so hungover, and probably still drunk, from the night before that I threw up all over the hospital room.
- What was your ‘oh-shit’ moment, indicating that alcohol had to go?
The morning I woke up and just knew I couldn’t keep doing this.
- What is your plan in sobriety moving forward?
To keep building a network. Keep working the steps and stay in AA. To keep on doing what I’m doing, one day at a time.
- In regards to sobriety what’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
To take everything one day at a time.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Avoid things that are triggering to you and strive to do things that are healthy and look for self-care.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You constantly find yourself keeping tabs on other peoples’ drinking.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Kris Oyen | Nov 1, 2021 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 350 – What’s up holidays?
Today we have Blazik. He is 28, from Kansas, and took his last drink on July 25,2021.
Café RE’s annual on-line conference called Regionals starts 11/12-13/2021. This is a Café RE members’ only free event. This will include yoga, sound healing, meditations, and breakout rooms. Go to www. Recoveryelevator.com promo code: opportunity for more info.
Café RE just made a $5149 donation to the McShin Foundation. 10% of all Café RE monthly memberships go towards a nonprofit geared towards helping those affected by addiction. The McShin Foundation helps those struggling with addiction get access to detox facilities, sober living, transitional recovery houses and more. https://mcshin.org/
Highlights from Paul
Paul addresses the gauntlet of challenges coming up in the next sixty days, specifically Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. The holidays often spike anxiety. Paul suggests it’s time to create a game plan to enjoy your first of many AF holidays.
Challenges create opportunities. There is an opportunity to rewrite the script and create a new norm for the holidays. There are opportunities for self-love, self-reflection, self-care and putting the self aside. There are also opportunities for connection. Building deeper human connections requires us to exercise our vulnerability muscles. This is an opportunity to be less reactive, go with the flow and practice mindfulness. It is also a great time to be of service and give without expecting anything in return. It is an opportunity to set boundaries with yourself, your loved ones, and people in the supermarket. There is also an opportunity of the unknown, a time of repose and perhaps a chance to address loneliness.
Paul believes you can do this. It starts with how you view it. Simply reframing challenges to opportunities is a great start. Lean in on this podcast, Café RE or whatever it takes so you do not go through this alone. Willpower is not enough to stay sober. Paul will provide more tools to help you build a game plan. This year is your opportunity to enjoy sober holidays.
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
[9:47] Blazik took his last drink on July 25, 2021. He is 28, single and has his own podcast. He makes videos, music and is learning the guitar. He spends a lot of time burning energy with his dog so he can enjoy down time.
Blazik experienced anxiety through his childhood. He was high performing as an athlete and homecoming king. He acted like the person he wanted to be but was filled with anxiety. He drank to overcome anxiety and drinking made the feeling go away temporarily. Alcohol made him feel and act the way he wanted to. From age 17-27 he drank daily.
The effects of alcohol began to take their toll on him physically. He woke up regularly at 2-3AM with heart palpitations or anxiety attacks. He couldn’t overcome the fatigue without drinking again. He listened to several episodes of the RE podcast and decided to explore not drinking. He went 38 days on his first attempt to get sober. He drank again and found himself drinking when he didn’t want to, but he had to feel like himself. He loved the instant fix.
Blazik says that concerts, vibing and dancing are still fun AF, and you can remember the event! He is really enjoying learning to be present. He loves looking and stars and listening to music. He has learned that he doesn’t need alcohol to be creative or to make music.
Kris’s Summary
Kris talks about control and rejection. If he lives for the approval of others, he will die from their rejection, and exhausted from the chase. He is working on being authentically himself and that he is enough.
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
