Episode 365 – So Who Do I Connect With?
Today we have Joshua. He is 36 years old and from North Carolina. His last drink was on October 31, 2020.
Highlights from Paul:
Happy Valentine’s Day! The opposite of addiction is connection. Paul shares that reality is a mirror reflecting your inner world. The most important connection we have is the connection we have with ourselves. If we don’t love, treat ourselves with respect or stand up for ourselves, that will appear in our outer world. Connecting with yourself allows you to become your own healer. Once your inner connection/relationship is healthy, that will be reflected in your external connections.
Paul recommends splitting your internal and external actions 50/50. Connect with yourself first (via meditation, journaling, yoga, etc.), then connect externally (Café RE chat, Marco Polo chat, a family member).
Johan Hari’s Ted Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY9DcIMGxMs
[10:45] Odette introduces Joshua
Joshua is from North Carolina, loves music, and works as an optician.
“Should” never helped Joshua quit drinking. Focusing on what he wanted from his life helped him shift his thinking and made an alcohol-free life possible.
Joshua’s first drink was a Zima at a party in high school. He was generally a good kid and had a strong desire to belong. He recognized that alcohol did something for him early on before it did something to him. The first time he recalls getting drunk, he felt a euphoric escape. Alcohol was liberating and medicating. In college, a sneakiness appeared in his drinking. He wasn’t aware of alcohol being problematic until 2014.
After divorcing, pent-up resentments led to accelerated drinking for Joshua. His drinking progressed. He attended his first AA meeting in 2017. After several false starts, AA helped him get 18 months of continuous sobriety. He stopped working his program and returned to drinking. He began to observe his drinking, and by Halloween, a dream helped him realize he wanted to be his best, and alcohol wasn’t part of that vision.
Joshua credits AA for helping him and describes AA as binary; he has a realistic view of their history and acknowledges that many options are available for recovery today. Therapy helped him with harm reduction and to be less black and white.
Josh says quitting alcohol is hard, but the complications of drinking make your life exponentially harder. He is happier, more grateful, and knows the perceived benefits of alcohol were a lie. Life still has its ups and downs, which are easier to manage.
Odette’s final thoughts:
You are enough. You are everything you need. You are loved. You are worthy. You are whole and complete, and you deserve a peaceful life.
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