Bill, with a sobriety date of October 8, 2018, shares her story.
We want to thank Mike Null for his commitment to doing the podcast show notes for the previous 35 episodes and welcome Kerri, from California, to the position, who will take over doing the next 26 episodes.
We still have a couple spots left for our Nashville event coming up this February 22 – 24. Registration for Bozeman Retreat will open up on March 1, and registration for our Asia Adventure will open up on July 1. You can find more information about events here
Paul shares the news he is writing a book, which he hopes to launch by July 1. As that date gets closer, he will be asking for volunteers to be part of the launch team so be on the lookout for that opportunity if that is something you would like to be a part of.
After doing something long enough some trends start to appear. In Ep. 52, after 1 year of podcasting, Paul did a summery of what he learned during the 1st year. In this episode he will cover the 4 themes that people successful in sobriety have fully embraced.
[10:15] Paul Introduces Bill.
Bill, with a sobriety date of October 8, 2018, is 49 years old and is from northern New Jersey. He does investment research for an insurance company. Bill has been married for a little over 20 years and has two kids. Bill finds fun in outdoor activities such as camping and fishing.
[12:56] Give us a little background about your drinking.
Bill started drinking at an early age and drank all throughout college and through his 20s. He got married, finished grad school, their daughter was born, and things seemed fine. Although he was drinking during this time there was nothing significant that made him feel as if he had an alcohol problem. His son was born in 2005 and there were complications. They soon realized his son was not meeting his milestones or developing like their daughter had. When his son was 14/15 mos. old, after watching a Home Improvement episode about a family with 4 autistic children, they just knew what their son’s problem was. The day that the doctor confirmed their fears is the day that Tom feels he became an alcoholic. That was in 2006 and when the progression started.
[18:53] When did you decide you needed to evaluate your alcohol consumption?
Things started to unravel for Bill in April of 2017. After a mini-breakdown and a call to a sister, who called their father, an intervention was set up. He started seeing a counselor who was the only person he was honest with, including himself. At this time, he was not drinking, but white knuckling it. By May he was drinking again. He tried moderation and no matter what he tried it always failed.
Fast forward to October 8, 2018, at the gym Bill pulls up podcasts, types in alcohol addiction and finds the RE podcast for the first time.
[29:30] When did you finally get honest with yourself?
The point of surrender was driving home the evening of Sunday, October 7th. He finally said he had had enough.
[32:34] Who are the first 3 people you ”burned the ships” with?
The first person he told was his best friend. The second person he told was his cousin, who actually confronted him about his drinking. The third person was the most difficult. That was his wife and that was just two weeks ago.
[38:36] Back to October 8, what were the things you put in place to get you to 90 days?
The first few weeks he broke his days into 3 parts, the mornings, the afternoons, and the evenings. All he was wanting to do was make it through the day to make it to bed. The biggest differentiator is instead of pushing the cravings away he acknowledges them.
[43:00] Talk to us about the progress you have made in accepting your son for who he is.
He has gone from the feelings knowing that his son wasn’t going to be the baseball star to now recognizing the potential he does have. His son has made great strides. He tries to live in the present and not look too far into the future and celebrates his son’s accomplishments daily.
[46:00] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking?
When his daughter wanted to watch the first Star Wars with him one Sunday night and he drank so many Vodka Cranberries during the day that he got violently ill after the 1st five minutes of the movie.
- Did you have an “Ah-Ha” moment?
The mini-breakdown I had in April 2017.
- What is your plan moving forward?
Reminding myself that I need to make progress each week and I can’t be complacent.
- What is your favorite resource in recovery?
Recovery Elevator podcasts.
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)?
Burn the ships.
- What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?
Alcohol is but a symptom.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
Your 14 year old daughter says to you, at 10:45 in the morning, “Hey Dad, aren’t ya hitting the bottle a little too early?”, and you simply ignore her and walk away with the glass of wine in your hand.
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to firstname.lastname@example.org
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside.”