by Paul Churchill | Mar 13, 2017 | Podcast
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Amanda, with 19 months since her last drink, shares her story
Why we drink:
- Alcohol is everywhere. Drinking appears to be the norm. We are bombarded with alcohol advertisements 67 times a day. Our society has a love affair with booze.
- We have a genetic make-up to become addicted to alcohol.
- Our environment is flooded with alcohol. We think everything we do should be accompanied by alcohol.
- Alcohol is a highly addicted drug.
- We have shitty coping skills.
Not on the list of why we drink: a moral failing or a weakness of character
SHOW NOTES
[ 7:45 ] Paul Introduces Amanda. How long have you been sober?
Amanda – I have been sober for 19 months. This is the longest I have ever been sober. I feel very proud of myself.
[ 8:51 ] What is your background?
Amanda – I am from Mississippi but now live in Florida with my 15 year old daughter.
[ 10:27 ] Did you ever try to put rules in place to moderate your drinking?
Amanda – I started drinking when I was 16 so there were no rules in the beginning. I was that sloppy drunk girl in the room. I would start watching the clock for 5:00 which meant it was time to drink.
[ 12:34 ] When did you first realize that you had a problem?
Amanda – In 2010, one bad thing after another happened to me. I was put in jail for domestic violence. I was so ashamed of not being able to control myself with alcohol. I felt that I was a strong person since I had raised my daughter alone. I did not want to appear weak and vulnerable.
[ 14:26 ] Amanda and Paul discuss the stigma of addiction.
Amanda – I had twin cousins who died because of alcohol. Their memory and my daughter were the only reasons why I didn’t commit suicide myself. I felt like no one cared about me so why should I care about myself?
[ 16:01 ] How did you get sober?
Amanda – I did not use AA. I went to a rehab that taught the 12 steps but after I was released, there was no support. No one called or checked on me. My parents had basically just dropped me off at rehab. I still drank for 4 years and then turned to meth. I finally decided that I was either going to die or go back to jail. I moved to another state but was still hanging out with the same type of people. I knew I needed to give up booze so I started looking for something else to do. This led me to find a group of people who were into mud runs. I got into fitness.
[ 21:42 ] Amanda and Paul discuss her days in rehab and her personal development.
Amanda – I did not feel like anything had changed after my 60 days in rehab. Afterward I started looking into motivational development. Someone told me that I was born with a purpose. Everyone has the power to help others. I was under the false assumption that life was going to be a piece of cake. I joined a personal development community (Breather University). The people in this group accepted me and my life has completely changed. I am Amanda and I am amazing! I am not a part of sobriety groups because I hate the alcoholic label. What you say about yourself is what you are.
[ 33:36 ] What is your pump up song?
Paul – Limp Bizkit, “Nookie” (Life is an opportunity, not an obligation).
Amanda – Jason Aldean, “Gonna Know We Were Here” (Self-affirmations are super important to me).
[ 34:08 ] What is your relationship like with your daughter?
Amanda – We have had to rebuild our relationship. She lived with my parents for the last 6 months that I was using. She moved in with me when I went to Florida. There has been a lot of growing and we have had to push through the hard times.
[ 36:50 ] What is a typical day like for you?
Amanda – I say positive affirmations to myself every day. I list 3 things that I am grateful for every day. I try to exercise, read or watch personal development videos every day.
[ 39:09 ] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? getting knocked out by a big guy I had tried to beat up
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? jail
- What’s your plan moving forward? sharing my story to give others hope
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? everything that you go through, isn’t always about you
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? life is beautiful, fill your void with goodness
- You might be an alcoholic if….. you duct tape 2 beers to your hands so that you do not lose them
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Recovery Elevator Retreat
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
Amanda U-Tube videos – Patched Wangs
Book “Beyond the Influence,” by Katherine Ketcham
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Paul Churchill | Jan 23, 2017 | Podcast
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Erik, with 67 days since his last drink, shares his story….
What exactly is alcohol and how is it created? According to the book, Beyond the Influence, by Katherine Ketcham, the basic ingredient of alcohol is yeast. Let’s just call it what it is; yeast dung to be exact. The yeast eventually dies off during the fermenting process leaving alcohol in its’ basic form, which is ethanol. That’s right folks! We have been consuming the same ingredient that is used in lacquer and dyes. Once we drink, the alcohol quickly passes through our cell membranes and enters the blood stream. Depending on our age, gender, or whether or not we have eaten, etc., alcohol affects us all differently. Beyond just the physically changes, alcohol also affects our emotional state. It has been known to exacerbate anxiety, stress and fatigue by triggering the body to release adrenaline artificially. No wonder those hang overs are so awful!
SHOW NOTES:
[ 10:44 ] Paul Introduces Erik and asks when was his last drink?
Erik – 67 days ago and it feels good on most days
[ 11:13 ] Erik tell us a little about himself.
Erik – I am 31 years old and currently live in Dallas. I play and teach music and also enjoy cooking and exercise.
[ 13:42 ] When did you realize you had a problem with drinking?
Erik – After graduating from college, consequences started happening. I had crashed a few cars and received a few DWI’s.
[ 15:11 ] Did you ever try to implement rules in order to moderate your drinking?
Erik – I was not real great at even putting rules into place. But I had an interlock (breathalyzer) put on my car and would try to moderate so that I could still start the car. One time I blew over the limit 3 times. I was more of a binge drinker. Once I started, I could not stop drinking.
[ 17:24 ] After your probation ended, you started drinking again. What happened?
Erik – When you are on probation, I think mentally you are just waiting for the time to be over. Once it is over, you can drink again. I continued to drink for 2-3 years without suffering any real consequences
[ 19:00 ] Did your drinking progress or remain the same?
Erik – It progressed and I started driving when I shouldn’t be again. I also started experiencing episodes of anger and rage, which was completely uncharacteristic of me.
[ 20:45 ] Erik shares a recent story of a wedding he attended.
Erik – I was running late for a wedding in which I was a groomsman. My mind made this a much bigger deal than it actually was so when I finally arrived, I headed straight to the bar. I stumbled to the service and was late for the photo shoot. I continued to drink and my mood kept deteriorating. After the wedding was over, I went to the after party and eventually blacked out. When I came to, I was in the middle of a brawl with a friend. I was very disappointed in myself and was worried that I had destroyed some friendships.
[ 27:45 ] How did you get to 67 days without drinking?
Erik – I had worked the AA program many years ago and basically got re-plugged in. I reached out to some previous people that I knew in the program, started going to meetings and got a sponsor
[ 31:00 ] Paul and Erik discuss the gift of desperation
Erik – My last drinking memory was that wedding I attended. I am not sure if I can fix the damage that I did to some of those relationships. I do not want that last memory to define me
[ 32:00 ] What is your plan moving forward?
Erik – I will continue to work my program, meditate and go to meetings. I would also like to start my own life now, by moving out of my parent’s house and getting back on track
[ 33:33 ] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? wrecking 3 cars, being in jail and having to call my parents
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? One night I was playing a show in Dallas. I knew I should not have driven home but I did it anyway
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? AA meetings, listening to podcasts and reading.
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Recovery is a process. Stay busy with projects and fill in that time that you would normally drink with different things to do.
- You might be an alcoholic if…. You use a blood alcohol calculator (BAC) in order to get past your car interlock
****Congratulations to our very own Brandy for reaching 1 year of sobriety****
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Books – Beyond the Influence by Katherine Ketcham and Living Sober by AA
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Paul Churchill | Dec 19, 2016 | Podcast
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Wynn, with 28 years of sobriety, shares his story…
SHOW NOTES
Tis the season to be jolly and sober…..
What are the differences between food cravings and alcohol cravings? Our gut sends signals that tell us to eat. We can only go 14 days without food and 80% of our serotonin is created in our gut. This feeling is very similar when we are craving a drink. The mind starts chirping and gives us false ideas of how good a drink would be. The problem is that when we start drinking, the need is never satiated with only 1 drink and thus the saga continues. The main things to keep in mind is that food keeps us alive. Alcohol is nothing more than a poison in its’ basic form. Food also helps build muscle. Alcohol transforms your body into Barney from The Simpsons. We all needed food to survive from the beginning of our lives. Obviously we can survive without alcohol. Finally, food satiates our hunger cravings. Alcohol cravings are never satisfied until we are beaten to a pulp.
[ 6:20 ] Paul Introduces Wynn.
Wynn is a retired engineer. He has been married 3 times and has a total of 5 children. He currently lives a wonderful life in sobriety, although in his previous life he did many “unlawful” things in which he was never caught.
[ 9:15 ] When did you realize that you had a problem with alcohol?
Wynn – the first time I drank was at 12 years old and it just felt magical. I soon became known as wino Wynn. I came from a good family. Neither of my parents were alcoholics however, the disease was there with my aunts and uncles. Unfortunately my brother was also an alcoholic and his life ended too soon.
[ 14:22 ] Paul asks Wynn, “How do we know when alcohol is trying to convince us that we do not have a problem.”
Wynn – you will know when the change happens. Recognize the pain and do not hide from it. Own your problems. Your HP is showing you what your pain points are.
[ 18:00 ] Wynn discusses an interesting visit with his psychiatrist.
Wynn – my psychiatrist was asking me what I thought was important. I told her that my car, my money, and my house were important to me. She asked if I knew exactly, down to the penny, how much money I had in my account. I could not tell her. She then asked me if I knew how much booze I had at my house. I was able to tell her the amount and type of alcohol, down to the drop, that I currently had in my home. I realized that there was nothing in my life that I kept track of, like I kept track of alcohol.
[ 19:00 ] When was your bottom?
Wynn – I was putting up a new house and borrowed money from some shady characters. I signed a life insurance policy as collateral and walked away with a paper bag full of money. I knew that that bag of money would be my coffin if I did not pay it back. If I drank that money away, I would be dead. Once the house was completed, I paid the money back and tore up the life insurance policy. I started to read The Big Book and found it incredible.
[ 24:00 ] What did you do then?
Wynn – Even though I was talking the talk of AA, I was not walking the walk. I had lost my house, my family and my companies. I was 3 years into AA when I finally got a sponsor.
[ 25:32 ] Paul discusses terminal uniqueness and how dangerous it can be.
Wynn – you have to be trustworthy enough to believe that your HP will take care of you. Everything that happens is exactly how it is supposed to happen. You have to pay attention. I soon realized that my problem with misery was really about myself. I had fear, control and domination issues. We cannot play God. God is willing to be anything we need him to be.
[33:23] Paul asks Wynn if he has every had a close call in 28 years.
Wynn – Yes, I was at the airport and had just been fired. There were no flights outbound and the clerk literally poured me a shot of whiskey. He was handing me my new ticket in 1 hand and the shot of whiskey in the other. I found myself reaching for both when suddenly I heard a voice that told me not to reach for the glass of whiskey. I grabbed the ticket and left.
[ 36:40 ] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? Jail
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Too many times I woke up in the hospital or jail.
- What’s your plan moving forward? Keep redoing the 10th step
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? All of my sponsees’ who stay sober and watch them carry on the message
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Stop digging and put down your shovel
- You might be an alcoholic if? You know more about the quality and quantity of alcohol at home, than you do anything else.
[ 41:00 ] Paul ends the show with a shout out to Brandy – for hitting her 1 year of sobriety mark. He also shares a story about a recent airplane experience.
A flight from Orlando to Denver reinforces Paul’s conviction to remain alcohol free. It is never fun to have to sit next to 2 drunks on a plane. Even worse is to be escorted from the plane by the police.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
RE Retreat – Bozeman Montana – August 24-27. Check the website for details
Connect with Cafe RE
- For $12.00 per month, you can unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel.
- First month FREE with Promo Code Elevator.
Promo Code: Elevator
recoveryelevator.com/survey
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Paul Churchill | Dec 12, 2016 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Melissa has been sober for 1 month… This is her story…
SHOW NOTES
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times….
Many of us believe that we cannot quit drinking. “I am the life of the party, that’s just who I am!” (I bet the crowd around us would beg to differ but that’s besides’ the point.) Life will not be fun if I do not drink. Yeah right- blackouts, hangovers, depression, and anxiety; now that is fun. Paul reviews the time in his life when he owned a bar in Spain. You heard correctly. Paul C = Bar Owner. Seems like an entire lifetime ago. Listed below are the pros and cons of that time period in Spain:
Pro’s – I didn’t die, it accelerated me towards my bottom, I learned to play some fancy Flamenco guitar chords
Con’s – Ambien and booze are not a good combo, missed out on many opportunities/road trips with the senoritas, playing football after being awake for 30 hours straight (the next Peyton Manning? I think not), blackouts, blackouts, and more blackouts, DUI, re-introducing myself to a previous hookup (ouch!), contemplating a 5th floor sky dive
[ 8:38 ] Paul Introduces Melissa. How long have you been sober?
Melissa – 30 days. Melissa explains her background. She is a bartender, married, with 4 children. During her free time, she likes to go to the gym.
Paul asks Melissa what it is like being a bartender. Melissa has been in “The Industry” all of her life (Industry = restaurant, club or bar scene). She felt that bartending would be the way to go early on because of her love of drinking and it seemed fun. Melissa’s family are serious drinkers so she grew up in that environment. She thought normal drinking was boring. Melissa states that when you are in “The Industry” you tend to share similar stories of drinking and it justifies your own behavior.
[ 13:54 ] What is it like bartending with 30 days of sobriety?
Melissa – It’s been easier since I left Las Vegas and now live in Pennsylvania. The environment is also easier. I work in a fine dining establishment instead of a Las Vegas casino. I am used to going through shifts without drinking but would always drink after my shift ended. One of my go to drinks was a kids’ cup filled with ice and straight vodka. Five minutes from home, I would down it.
[ 17:54 ] Staying sober is easy when drunk people are idiots
Paul and Melissa swap stories about working in the industry surrounded by drunk people. Do your local DJ a favor and do not request any more Michael Jackson songs!
[ 18:47 ] What was your bottom?
Melissa – I was attending a birthday party and had brought my 14 year old daughter and her friend. We were staying at a hotel so there were no limits. My daughter and her friend had to come get me from the bar downstairs. She video-taped me while feeding me chicken nuggets. I was a mess and my daughter thought it was hysterical. I didn’t want her thinking that that situation was OK. Our family culture was turning into a dangerous life.
[ 23:55 ] Paul and Melissa discuss the tragic death of her sister
Melissa – she was drinking and driving and attempted to go around the car in front of her. Her car was hit. The accident caused her to break her neck. She was only 21 years old when she was killed. My sister’s story, however, did not stop me from continuing to drink.
Paul – we have all had plenty of “You would have thought (…insert tragic event here…) moments that should have stopped us from drinking. Fear can get you sober but it cannot keep you sober.
Melissa reviews her history of trying AA and remaining alcohol free for 2 years. During that time she picked up a pill addiction. After 2 years she was drinking and taking pills. She weaned herself off of the pills and suffered heavy withdrawal systems. She did not think she was an alcoholic because she was able to stop while pregnant with all of her children. Once the children were born, however, the pressure of motherhood soon had her reaching for the wine bottle.
[ 32:48 ] How have you made it to 30 days?
Melissa – RE podcast, constantly reminding myself of my worst drunk moments and comradery with other recovering alcoholics.
[ 42:35 ] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? Celebrating my 36th birthday and waking up in the hospital not remembering a thing
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Too many CRS (can’t remember shit) moments.
- What’s your plan moving forward? To find a local AA meeting and do the 12 steps. Time to locate those weeds and pull them out!
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Listening to the Big Book will driving and listening to various recovery podcasts
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Inside of every alcoholic’s home are 2 doors with different paths. Behind door #1, there is a monkey who is going to kick your ass down a shorter path. Behind door #2, there is simply a longer path. It’s time to choose door #2!
- You might be an alcoholic if? You have company over and you are sneaking gulps of vodka in between your glasses of wine.
[ 41:00 ] Paul ends the show discussing 3 main themes
Man in the Mirror – drinking causes us to not want to see ourselves in the mirror. What often reflects back is shame and disgust
False Dreams – drinking brings about the notion of false dreams. The actions needed to make these dreams come true are taken away by booze
Geographical Changes – Paul sells his bar in Spain and moves back to the states, eventually ending up in beautiful Bozeman MT. Recovery is an opportunity to change the course of our lives. It’s time to change everything in order to get there.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE
- For $12.00 per month, you can unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel.
- First month FREE with Promo Code Elevator.
Promo Code: Elevator
recoveryelevator.com/survey
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Paul Churchill | Nov 28, 2016 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Stephanie has been sober for 5 years… This is her story…
Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE!
SHOW NOTES
Why do some go down the path of alcoholism faster than others? Why do the wheels come off at different times for all of us? Is it an ‘addictive personality’ disorder? Well, truth is, we can’t find real scientific evidence to prove that an ‘addictive personality’ is a real thing. What we do know is that genetic makeup combined with environmental factors that someone is living with have huge factors in whether or not someone will become addicted to alcohol. For Paul, the wheels came off right around age 21, but there is no way to determine if and when someone will become addicted to alcohol. There are many environmental factors that can slow down or speed up this factor…
[ 7:25 ] Paul introduces Stephanie.
Stephanie has been sober for almost 5 years. She got sober December 31st, 2011. She is 33 and from Alabama. Stephanie works in a Bradford treatment center. She loves to run, kayak and hangout with her family.
[ 8:12 ] Do you have a pink cloud?
Stephanie tries to make her own ‘pink cloud’ every day in that she looks for the positive in everything. She is aware of the things she is grateful for and recognizes where she could be if she didn’t have her sobriety.
[ 14:09 ] Stephanie talks about her drinking experience and the associated health problems that she dealt with.
[ 23:04 ] Stephanie’s Mom and Dad took her to a treatment center on December 30th, 2011.
[ 24:39 ] Do you think you could’ve gotten sober without rehab?
“For me, I don’t think I could. I had to be removed from my situation, completely removed. I had tried little things here and there, but I didn’t know coping mechanisms. I know people can do it, but I just know that I couldn’t have done it.”
[ 25:35 ] Stephanie talk about her program.
Stephanie was able to relate to the AA program. She has had the same sponsor for almost 4 1/2 years. “It was necessary for me.”
[ 26:41 ] Can you pinpoint one rock bottom moment?
“After totalling my car and trying to hide it…” Stephanie was making frequent trips to the liquor store to buys half pints of vodka. When she started drinking in the morning, she realized something had the change.
[ 33:04 ] Walk us through a day in the life of Stephanie.
“Usually I wake up and do a reading from the Hazeldon Foundation and I use an app called ‘My Spiritual Toolkit. I also have a page saved on my phone which has a prayer for each step. Then I’ll take some quiet time. I’m not very good at meditation.” Stephanie takes time to herself in the mornings. She gets up early and tries to go for a run before heading into work. At work, she tries to take 3-4 minutes just to breath and calm down. At the end of the day, Stephanie takes time to reflect on her day, looking for the positive and places where she can do better tomorrow. “I try to get a lot of sleep. I need my 8 hours of sleep and my prayer and meditation time.”
[ 36:09 ] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? “Pancreatitis… That was pretty horrible.”
- What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward? “To not stay stagnant. To change and grow and try to help others as much as possible.”
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? “The Big Book, My Spiritual Toolkit and that prayer page.”
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? “Continue. Make a continuous effort to put one foot in front of the other.”
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? “Do it. Seek treatment if you can. Ask for help and know that you don’t have to be alone.”
“You Might be an Alcoholic If…”
“…You are waking up drinking vodka a 6am and hiding bottles all throughout your room!”
Resources mentioned in RE 93:
Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
Connect with Cafe RE
- For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel.
- First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator.
Hazeldon Foundation Digital Resources
My Spiritual Toolkit
Podcast Resource Info – ‘Addiction now defined as brain disorder, not behavior issue’
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up. WE can do this!”
Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
