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In this Episode, Ronnie, with 25 years of sobriety shares how he did it. We also discuss 50 ways to stay sober this summer.
Episode #74 RE with Ronnie Marmo
Ronnie got sober a few times throughout his life, once at age 17 and again at age 20. At age 20, he found himself smoking crack on the sidewalk after 3 years of sobriety… One drink of alcohol was his gateway drug.
Ronnie’s background:
Lives in L.A. and works as an actor and director, running two theater companies. Check out 68 Theatre Company. Ronnie is 45 and married with a dear family… For more information on Ronnie and his work – ronniemarmo.com.
Take us back to age 20…
Was that your bottom?
For me, “I was out of control ever since I started drinking. I always drank and got high in the same way. I was never a social drinker, I had no interest in drinking socially.”
It went something like this – one gallon of vodka, one quart of Yukon Jack, and then I found myself waking up at a sober picnic. My sponsor asked me if I was humble enough… I said yes, and went back to rehab for the 3rd time.
What is it like being sober in your industry?
It’s like anything, many people are sober, once you start talking “our” language. Those who do drink and get high, it’s never an issue, but I tend to gravitate towards people who are sober.
Let’s talk rules: Did you ever try to put rules into place?
“I thought alcohol was a problem, but I didn’t think it was my biggest problem. I constantly negotiated with myself. Normal people don’t hide bottles. Normal people don’t wake up needing a drink.”
People have gone on retreats and think that anxiety is the issue, or depression is the issues, when underneath it is really the alcohol.
Literally, every day of my life I spent my day trying to figure out how to get more booze.
Do you remember your first intensive rehab?
“I hadn’t even seen the STEPS on the wall!”
Now, I have a healthy fear of booze.
Talk to me more about this healthy fear, I’m terrified of this stuff…
When I look at it, it’s rare that I glorify a drink. When I see booze, I get nervous. If I ever take a second to glorify it. I immediately think I could destroy my life. It happens quickly.
That thought is so fleeting, it’s not even an option.
Bill W. and Dr. Bob:
Playing in north Hollywood, CA
Soon to star in the movie, Back in the Day.
Walk me through a day in your sobriety:
I don’t go to as many meetings as I should, but I never miss my Wednesday home meeting.
If I do these things daily:
- Give thanks
- Reach out to a newcomer
- Walk with love and grace
- Attend a meeting
If I don’t do these things, life is just harder…
What are your thoughts on relapse:
It’s a weird disease because you have to self-diagnose it. It’s 2:30 in L.A. right now, if I had a drink right now, I’d be smoking crack by 7:30pm… Relapse doesn’t have to happen, but if it does, hopefully you can choose sobriety again quickly.
What would you say to your younger Ronnie:
“The sooner you can get past being so dependent on the drink or the drug the sooner you can get on with your life, doing what you really want to do.”
“No matter where you go or what you do, drink a lot of water and walk slow.”
What’s still on your bucketlist:
- Doing what I love
- Helping others
- Shoot a movie in Italy for a summer…
All these items are attainable with sobriety.
Rapid Fire Round:
1.What was your worst memory from drinking?
Stealing my mother’s pocket book.
2.Did you ever have an oh-shit moment?
I had a spiritual awakening in the courtroom, asking the judge for help. The things that came out of my mouth were nothing that I had intended to say when I walked in.
3.What is your plan for sobriety moving forward?
Keep showing up and trying to be graceful, reaching out to others, and trying my best on a daily basis to stay with a formula that works. Keeping it super simple!
- Favorite resources?
Meetings
- Best advice you’ve ever received?
Drink a lot of water and walk slow
- What parting piece of guidance can you give?
If you are thinking about it (getting sober) and it’s on your mind, there’s a really good chance that you should be doing it. Give it a really strong 90 days.
“You might be an alcoholic if…”
You might be an alcoholic if you steal from someone you love just to get a drink or a drug.
You might be an alcoholic if after 2 years of sobriety you take a drink and later you end up smoking crack.
Connect with Ronnie:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ronnie.marmo
Twitter: @Ronniemo22
50 Ways to stay sober this summer
- Wear sun screen – Lots of sunscreen
- La Croix Soda water. Drink lots of soda water
- Enjoy time in a hot tub / spring or sauna
- Beach trip: The small stream behind your neighbor’s house even has a beach
- Movie Day: The Anonymous People
- Scroll through your phone contacts and call someone you did wrong in the past. Don’t tell them what they did wrong, but what you did wrong
- Binge watch old TV episodes: Prefably not Mad Men, they drink like fish
- Yoga / Meditation
- Create a new sober drink concoction. Watermelon and milk is one I stumbled upon
- Do that fitness thing: Biking, swimming, whiffle ball, golf etc.
- Join a Book Club that actually reads the book
- Adopt-A-Pet, dog, cat, gecko
- Think of the most pressing issue in your life right now… and then write down what your part of it is.
- Go to a museum
- Pinterest – find new recipes or a DIY project on Diypete.com
- Google Mindfulness and what that really means
- Buy a new car; one that you have never drank in
- Learn how to shoot a bow and arrow
- Find something like Jolly Ranchers to subside cravings
- Build a pergola or Sauna at your house
- Gauge your emotional sobriety (in the future) by purposefully removing the staples out of your stapler
- Volunteer – be of service (This is a big one)
- Acceptance is the answer – period
- Take a look in the mirror and observe what you see. Get REal with yourself
- New Hobbies- Painting / Coloring
- Travel – take photos of you wearing your RE shirt
- Fundraise for the Recovery Elevator trip to Peru in April 2017
- Go to an outing wearing a shirt that says something like “sober as shit” so no one offers you a drink
- Listen to the RE Podcast episode 52 – one of my favorites
- Play a good natured joke someone
- Pay for the person’s order behind you – Regardless of what line you find yourself in
- Attend a 12 step meeting on the other side of town that speaks a different language
- Enjoy NA Drinks such as a virgin a piña colada
- Announce to the world you’re an Alcoholic via facebook and become accountable – the results will pleasantly surprise you
- Read page 471 in the big blue book: daily
- Once again, tell yourself acceptance is the answer
- Put your forehead on a baseball bat, spin around 15 times, and give the person closest to you a hug
- Google CBT – Charlie Beta Typhoid
- Jump rope – I’ve never heard of a relapse while jump roping
- We all know someone who should probably think about giving the bottle a rest. Invite them to Dairy Queen for their lunch specials from 11:30pm – 2pm and then take them to an AA meeting. They will most likely thank you later
- Water balloon fight – freezing balloons the night before is optional
- Watch the movie dodgeball with Ben Stiller, and then watch it again
- Third Eye Blind – All of it – #bestbandever
- Check out your local events calendar and go to an event you’re not interested in attending
- Laser Tag
- Take a sober road trip with another sober buddy of at least 100 miles each way. On your way, stop and say hello to me in Bozeman MT
- Get flowers or a gift card for someone you absolutely cannot stand to be around
- Ask yourself if you’re where you want to be in life at this very moment. If the answer is now, ask yourself if you’re willing to something about it
- Sunscreen – wear Lots of sunscreen
- Go get a natural high – sky diving, jump off the high dive at the local pool, go carts etc.
- Don’t Drink
Let me know at info@recoveryelevator.com how many of these you tried this summer!
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