Episode 397  – The Ultimate Connection


Today we have Santino.   He is 43, from Massachusetts, and took his last drink 43 days ago.


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Highlights from Paul


Paul shares that our actions are felt for seven generations in our lineage.  When you quit drinking, do the inner work, the ripple effect can last 150 years.


Eckhart Tolle defines love as recognizing oneness in a world of duality. The ego craves separation, judgements. When we are drinking, we are reinforcing that divide. The worst side effect of alcohol is isolation. But when we drop the bottle,  we give ourselves a chance to find love, or maybe let love find us.


Congratulations Dusty and Lotus on your recent nuptials.


Love yourself and love yourself first.  Love in recovery can be rediscovering nature, it can be planting a garden, it can be zipping around on a one wheel, it can be learning a new instrument, picking up an old instrument. It can be laughter.


Make sure to stay tuned to the end of the episode. Our outro music is from one of our Café Re members, Ron.


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[9:50]  Santino works for a nonprofit homeless organization; he is married with a son and enjoys being a father.


Being present, in the moment and the ability to remember the moment are the early perks of sobriety for Santino.   His first taste of alcohol was at age 10.  He took a sip of his Dad’s drink and enjoyed the taste.


Paul and Santino discussed how college culture and military culture both celebrate drinking.  Santino said his drinking was normalized because of the culture of drinking in the military.    His wake up calls around drinking came when he left the military.  He got his first DWI and went to court ordered AA.  He drank before and after the meetings.


Santino noticed a pattern of lying, about all kinds of things, but particularly about what he was drinking, when and how much.  AA is now part of his life.  He has learned to say “alcoholic” to be accountable for what was happening with him.  He is well informed about withdrawal and his most recent experience was painful and a reckoning.  Santino encourages listeners to be honest with themselves.  Give yourself grace AND accountability.  He did a 72 hour fast.  He listens to the Recovery Elevator podcast.  He burned the ships with his childhood friend, his sister and his wife.


The Uvalde shooting had a major impact on Santino and became an impetus for him to quit drinking.


[55:20] Paul’s Summary


Paul introduces Ron who is a musician  who wrote and performed today’s outro music.


[56:51] We walk each other home.


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