To reach the lowest or worst point of something; to descend to the lowest point possible, after which only an increase is possible; to reach a level that is as low as it will be.
Hitting bottom is as personal and individual as the God we pray to, or the spirituality we find in our journey to sobriety. Low bottoms, high bottoms all terms to describe what finally left us defeated enough to seek out help in the form of personal serenity. The point at which we admit we have a problem that we can no longer “control”. The sought after peace of sobriety is often driven by fear and shame.
Admitting our powerlessness is the first step in a healthy direction. Giving in isn’t giving up control, but is instrumental in regaining our independence. Handing our addiction over, asking for help, realizing that we are by no means alone in this battle.
I prefer to think of my rock bottom as the moment I surrendered and turned the whole affair over to the universe at large. It was the night, after weeks of intense drinking, that I finally did not want to live. I really didn’t want to die, but in my drunken, defeated stupor, realized that I could no longer keep up the pace and façade that I had built. All leading to a place of unfathomable hopelessness and demoralization. It was then that I just gave up. I quit fighting it, turned it over to my conception of God at the time.
What is your bottom? Are you there yet? How are you climbing your way back up?
I forgot to take care of the person that could do the help I was attempting to give to all my friends and family and because I didn’t help myself first I am hurting the people that matter most to me. They have given up and this . Everytime I got to get help I am faced with more obstacles than my embarrassed and drained spirit can fix. When I feel I am letting God take control and lead me to my better self I am blinded by this overwhelming sense of dept and redirected by my demons and see myself wondering in circles. Where do I go from hear and how do I know it’s true