RE 504: A Dopamine Feast

by Kris Oyen | Oct 14, 2024 | Podcast

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Episode 504 – A Dopamine Feast

Today we have Don. He is 44 and lives in Clarkson, MI. He took his last drink on November 15^th, 2021.

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The theme for this podcast is I am Here, I am Whole. What does that mean? It means, that in this moment, the only moment that has ever mattered or ever existed, I choose to be here, and I will view myself as whole.

Please don’t kick the can of wholeness, authenticity and self-love down the road. It has to be now.

[04:22] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares that he really enjoyed the book Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke, minus one part of it that talks about a dopamine fast as a way to beat an addiction.

A recent NYT article summarizes why Paul doesn’t like the dopamine fast idea. It has to do with the quote that “it’s less about quitting drinking, and more about creating a life that doesn’t require alcohol”. There are many healthier ways to release dopamine, such as hobbies you enjoy, that don’t involve your drug of choice. Trying new things helps us release dopamine as well.

The last paragraph of the article says “consequently, America’s problem isn’t that we’re a bunch of hedonists hooked on capitalism’s dopamine hits, it’s that so many of us aren’t able to get our social, physical and emotional needs met in healthy ways. Instead of a dopamine fast, we need a dopamine feast – one that makes us want experiences we actually like, rather than compulsively responding to craving”.

[08:36] Paul introduces Don:

Don is an anesthesiologist, and he lives in Clarkston, MI. He started enjoying traveling since his mid-30s and has been to 30 countries, five continents and heading to Antarctica at the end of the year. Don is a big fan of sports and roots for the teams out of Detroit.

Alcohol always seemed to have a positive light around it when Don was younger. Whether it was a gathering or party the adults seemed more relaxed, happy and silly. It always seemed like something to look forward to when he got older. Being more of a goody-two-shoes, Don says, he didn’t try alcohol until the summer after school ended. He recalls feeling like he was comfortable in his own skin and his racing thoughts relaxed. Don says he was immediately someone that couldn’t stop drinking once he started.

Don says his 20s were spent in school and would drink heavily maybe once a month. In his 30s after graduating and feeling he achieved all of his goals, he wondered “what’s next?” Don says that alcohol didn’t answer the question, but it prevented him from having to answer it. Don says that he realized he was gay as a young man and never wanted to deal with it. Drinking helped him push that away too.

COVID sped up the inevitable, Don says. Having more time off work due to less surgeries being performed; Don would start drinking more on his off days. Once work became busy again, he’s drinking continued where it was and started affecting his work.

When Don arrived at work still drunk after a Labor Day weekend binge, he says receiving a call from his boss was relief.

When Don started rehab, he knew he was going to need to address being gay in addition to having a drinking problem. After completing rehab, Don began attending a program for health professionals that gives him the accountability he needed.

Don says AA is a big part of his life now. He says he enjoys the community and accountability. He is testing out dating to see if it’s something that he wants to do. After falling in love with Costa Rica, he decided to build a house there. The greatest gift Don says he was given in sobriety is the ability to be present.

Don’s parting piece of guidance: Just start. You’ve got to start somewhere and if that’s rehab, than so be it. Take a break from your job, people will be much more supportive than you think they will.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down, got to take the stairs back up.

I love you guys.

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RE 500: I am Here, I am Whole

by Kris Oyen | Sep 16, 2024 | Podcast

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Episode 500 – I Am Here, I Am Whole

Today we have Brady. He is 43 years old from Denver, CO and took his last drink on July 18^th, 2023.

Whatever day you are on, we want to hear it, see it and support you. On Sundays, head on over to RE on Instagram and post on our Roll Call. Let the world know where you are at.

There are still a few spots open on our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam. This upcoming January 9^th-20^th, 2025, we’re heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers.

Starting Monday September 16^th, all new registration for Café RE will be added to our community, which is no longer on Facebook. We have found a place that allows us to make these connections better. Beginning October 1^st, all current members will start shifting over there as well.

Sponsors mentioned in this episode:

Better Help  – code ELEVATOR

[03:57] Thoughts from Paul:

For 500 straight Mondays, Recovery Elevator has released an episode with someone sharing how they quit drinking. We do this to help, to serve, and also selfishly since Paul and all members of the team are also on this AF journey.

Paul started this podcast in 2015 and just celebrated 10 years since his last drink. He shares how he started the Recovery Elevator Sobriety Tracker. He also shares that since starting, we now have Café RE, have done five international sober travel trips, have had 15 official RE retreats, and over 1500 people have signed up for our courses.

Paul shares what he is most happy about are the gains in his personal life. He is married and has a three-month-old son and is well into a creating a life that no longer requires alcohol.

The lyrics to the new intro song: “I am here, I am whole” remind us that there is nothing wrong with us, we are not fractured, and we can correct the imbalance in our lives. And we don’t have to do it alone.

[11:00] Paul introduces Brady:

At the time of recording, Brady just celebrated one year alcohol free!

Paul and Brady have been friends for a very long time, and both acknowledge that it’s good be on the other side of their drinking times to now sharing sobriety with one another.

Brady and lives in the suburbs of Denver, he is 43 years old and is a realtor and formerly a high school teacher. Brady is married and they have a five-year-old son.

Brady says he drank more than the average high school student. He thinks his drinking in college was on par with normal for that time of life. It wasn’t until his late thirties that he started to realize that his relationship with alcohol wasn’t good. He feels that the time during COVID just normalized drinking at home for him. It became an everyday thing, and he slowly stopped having any interest in anything other than drinking.

An acute panic attack one night found him feeling empty. When he talked to his mom about it, she asked if he had been drinking. It was then that he started to connect the dots and was on the road to exploring the role alcohol had in his life. He never considered himself an alcoholic, but knew he was not living the life he wanted to.

Since quitting drinking, Brady has lost 20 pounds, is says he is more aware of what he is doing and it’s more purposeful. Brady has discovered that everything is clearer now. He mentions listening to The Huberman Lab podcast about alcohol really helped him in addition to Alan Carr’s book about quitting drinking. Learning what alcohol really does to us has been an important tool for Brady. He has not attended AA but had a lot of support from people around him and was comfortable sharing with them. Brady has shifted his identity to no longer being a dude that drinks.

Brady’s parting piece of guidance: just do it, find those resources that will help you.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

RE 498: Be The Light

by Kris Oyen | Sep 2, 2024 | Podcast

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Episode 498 – Be the Light

Today we have Ava. She is 17 years old and lives in Central North Dakota. She has been sober since October 13^th, 2006.

Sponsors for this episode:

Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month

[03:16] Meat and Potatoes Time:

A few months ago, after a lot of prayer and consideration, Kris had a tough call with Paul. While he enjoys his job as podcast host immensely, his life has been changing. His kids are getting older and busier, and he has opportunities to step up his investment in his local community.

Kris shares what this podcast has meant to him both as an interviewer and as a long-time listener. All of our stories have values, and he reminds us of the importance of being a light. No one lights a lamp and then covers it with a wash tub or shoves it under a bed. You set it up on the lampstand so that those who enter the room can see their way.

We each have a light in us that is meant to shine.

[10:18] Kris introduces Ava:

Today Kris is speaking with a very special guest: Ava, his 17-year-old daughter. She works as a nanny and works front desk at a gym. For fun, Ava likes to read and spend time with her friends.

Ava shares that the first time she became aware of alcohol’s presence in her life was when she was around ten. She noticed that her dad always had beer. She didn’t recognize that alcohol was causing a problem in her environment until her parents separated, Dad went to rehab, and they explained things to her.

Anxiety was common for Ava during this time. Her mom and dad were fighting a lot, and weren’t very present at home, and she found herself looking after her little brother more and more. Ava didn’t feel like she had an outlet to share her feelings. She was left feeling like she wasn’t good enough and trying to be a people pleaser and take care of others.

Ava remembers the last years of Kris drinking as being hard. She had been told that her dad was staying at the lake because it was closer to his work. She didn’t realize what was going on until she heard her mother on the phone talking about a divorce. Ava says that was hard to hear. Her parents were trying to protect the kids from what was going on. Ava says that this was a very difficult time for her. Her anxiety was up, and she started internalizing that she was the problem for her parents

Going through the transition to middle school was a hard time for Ava. Her anxiety had increased, and she tried really hard to make things go right there since she felt so much instability at home. She was crushed when she and her brother were told their parents were separating.

Kris started rehab and was spending as much time with the kids as possible. Time together helped them rebuild a healthy relationship. Ava says some of the anxiety went away and when it comes up for her now, she knows how to deal with it.

These days Ava enjoys the time they all spend together as a family. She feels much more comfortable and open with her parents now that things are calmer at home. Having a relationship with God and friends at church and school has been helpful for Ava.

Ava looks forward to graduating high school and plans to become a counselor. She has the desire to help people who are going through some of the things she has and mental health in general.

Ava’s advice for folks going through tough times: taking it one step at a time, it doesn’t have to be a big light-switch change

Ava’s parting piece of guidance for those thinking about sobriety: do it. It is probably the best choice you can make for yourself and those around you.

Ava’s advice for a loved one of someone with addiction: know that they are loved and valuable and would encourage them to find someone they trust that they can talk to because they are not alone.

Recovery Elevator

You’re the only one that can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone.

Love you guys.

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