by Paul Churchill | May 2, 2016 | Podcast
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Kelly, with 9.5 months sobriety shares how she did it!
Johnny Manziel is an alcoholic who isn’t having any fun. We has drafted 22nd overall in the 2014 NFL draft and the wheels have been coming off since. The media seem to wonder why he hasn’t simply grown out of his crazy party lifestyle and realized his potential a an NFL quarterback. It was refreshing to see an article in written in the Bleacher Report about how Johnny’s problem isn’t a maturity one, but a clinical one.
Don’t isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum.
Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there!
This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
by Paul Churchill | Feb 29, 2016 | Podcast
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In episode 54, Gavin from England shares how he made it too 100 days of sobriety, and his humor in the accountability groups is what gave me the inspiration for this topic.
Ideas for this podcast topic came from an article I read on The Fix and the benefits of laughter are from Help Guide.
You Might Be an Alcoholic if!
– if you take a ruck sack with you when you go cycling, so you can buy beer on the way home. You then hide your stash, and drink your first beer in the shower (sometimes your 2nd and 3rd too)! -Gavin
– if you pour vodka into your garden hose for later consumption while your unsuspecting spouse thinks you are out enjoying a day in the yard. – Steve
-if you carefully open a shrink wrapped case of water, empty the bottles, fill them with vodka, and carefully reassemble the case with a heat gun, then check the case of water into your cruise cabin. You then do the same thing with a case of nestea and bourbon… -Doug
-if you take the unfinished bottle of wine out of the skybox at Giant’s stadium by hiding it in your pant leg socks -James
-if you hide your beer and drink it warm in the closet…even when you live alone. -Lindsey
-You might be an alcoholic if you are walking through the streets holding your 7 month grandchild in one arm and a 3rd glass of wine covered up with a napkin in the other – Robin
-if your favorite hobby becomes listening to music while shitfaced in a pitch black bathroom. -Colin
-if you see a homeless guy walk out of the liquor store with a 6 pack of pre-mixes and you think ‘He could have bought more alcohol with the same amount of money by buying straight spirits.’ And then you think ‘Go hard or go home!’ -Dee
-if you regularly invent a new language, that only three other people in the bar with you can speak. -Jon
-if all 20 iBooks you own are about alcoholism and recovery. -James
Feb. 10–An allegedly problematic passenger on board an Alaska Airlines Boeing 737 bound from Boston to San Diego last night was removed from the flight after the plane was forced to make an emergency landing in Denver.
Heath Montgomery, spokesman for Denver International Airport, said Denver police and airport security responded to Flight 769, but the disturbance was deemed to be a customer-service matter, and the man was not arrested.
Montgomery said the passenger was not allowed to reboard the jet, which continued on to California.
Passengers told media in Denver the man became agitated when the flight crew told him he could not drink alcohol he’d brought with him and began shouting, “We’re all going to die,” among other threats.
A spokesman for the airline did not immediately respond to a request for comment.
Be sure to join the Recovery Elevator Private Accountability Facebook Group.
Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there!
Be sure to expand your recovery network in and Seattle on February 27th and San Francisco on March 5th.
by Paul Churchill | Feb 22, 2016 | Podcast
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In this episode, Dawn shares how she has made it to 6 months of sobriety as a mother of three. We also discuss terminal uniqueness which basically is when we focus on the differences and not the similarities. I have been culpable of this many times, and I am working on being cognizant of how to avoid this. Here are some of the key reasons why terminal uniqueness is so dangerous.
-It allows people to ignore the likely consequences of their actions
-It provides a false sense of security
-It divides the world into me and them
-It means that the individual will be unwilling to believe that treatments that help other people can help them
-It leads to the individual thinking that they are either worse than everyone else, or that they are better than everyone else
-It prevents the individual from seeking help for their problems
-It can be a barrier to communication
-It leads to feelings of loneliness and desperation (isolation)****
-you think you’re being responsible when you iron a shirt the night before work, but you are so drunk that you fall forward and crumple the ironing board into twisted metal -Patrick
-you run into your old drinking buddy & can’t remember his name -Miq
-You stop talking in mid sentence because you forget how to talk. -James
-You vomit, and then go get a drink to settle your stomach issues -Gabrielle
Much of the inspiration for this topic came from Ty, who edits the podcast, and MD Junction.
Be sure to join the Recovery Elevator Private Accountability Facebook Group.
Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there!
Be sure to expand your recovery network in and Seattle on February 27th and San Francisco on March 5th. Dates for NYC, San Francisco, Denver Costa Rica and Norway are coming soon.
by Paul Churchill | Feb 15, 2016 | Podcast
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What I learned in 1 year of podcast is remarkable. It will help me stay sober and I want to thank everyone who has been a part of Recovery Elevator. I really hope you enjoy this summary because I had a great year compiling them.
Value Bombs
What I learned from a year of podcasting about my sobriety.
By Paul Churchill (with Elliot P.)
Podcasting about your sobriety isn’t exactly the best way to stay anonymous. However, after years of struggling to stay sober I was willing to try anything and nothing seemed more powerful than the accountability I’d create by checking in with “the world” every week. So I bought a few simple pieces of recording equipment, signed up for a podcasting service and started talking. I was terrified to release the first episode – it felt like I was jumping off a cliff. I knew my life would never be the same. I was right.
This year has been the best year of my life but strangely, also the hardest. I know what you are thinking, “of course it was the hardest as getting sober isn’t easy” and you’d be right. But there is something especially terrifying about getting sober in front of anyone who wants to watch. I’ve been told that some people thought my podcast would be a train wreck and they were listening for entertainment value. Luckily, so far, I have beaten the odds and probably made this pretty boring for my macabre listeners. My goal is to make this podcast as boring as possible for this demographic of my audience! How is that for a podcasting goal? Really though, I think we have had a lot of fun this year and I’m all for the suspense each week as I sign in, once again, still sober. If I can do it, maybe some of my listeners realize that they can too.
Now I don’t claim to be very smart but the most unexpected part of this journey has been meeting hundreds of listeners who can relate to my story. I honestly felt like I was the only one who suffered exactly like I did. It turns out that alcoholism is ironically a communal disease where everyone afflicted feels isolated. Part of the solution involves finding like-minded people who you can get honest with. Little did I know, just by talking openly into the microphone, this group of like-minded people would come to me. Listenership has grown beyond my wildest dreams. I love you guys.
I’ve been asked what have been the most impactful lessons I’ve learned over this year of podcasting. The beauty of listening to the stories of those I’ve interviewed is that everyone can relate to the stories differently depending upon their place in their sobriety journey. Below is a list highlighting ideas that have meant the most to me:
- Avoid isolation like the plague:
One of the single biggest differences between “drunk Paul” and “sober Paul” is my sense of community. By getting honest with this podcast, my chances of long-term sobriety have significantly increased! As Russell Crow says in The Gladiator, “Whatever comes out of those doors, we have a better chance of survival if we stick together.”
- Accountability:
I didn’t know it at the time, but I was creating accountability by taking the following actions when trying to get sober:
- I sent a text message to my fantasy football league about how my drinking is more serious that they knew.
- I told my parents and brother while we were on vacation together that I was an alcoholic.
- I started a podcast and told anyone in the world who wanted to listen. Okay, this one was a little extreme!
My sobriety date (9/7/14) was shortly after the first two accountability measures were taken. Coincidence? I think not.
If you haven’t told someone about your drinking yet, do so! Letting the cat out of the bag is so hard but it is so liberating! Telling someone pushes you past the point of no return – and only then are you really on the journey.
- Conduits:
What, you need a higher power to get sober? That is a sticky and messy topic. I’ve learned that there really is no need for all the emotion and debate surrounding one’s belief in something more powerful than one’s self.
I’ve learned to look at it like this: See the highway, not the cars. See the river, not the water. See the trees swaying, not the wind. See the power lines, not the power.
By focusing on the pathway and not the source – we worry less about understanding and yet we find harmony in knowing that we are not the ones in control. Then, and only then, is it so much easier to find peace in this crazy process called recovery. I’m not the source but maybe I can be the pathway. Clarity comes when my glaze rises above the mess.
- Affirmations:
With every passing day, I run the risk of getting so far away from my last drink that I forget about the misery it caused and I could then trick myself into having “just one.” It’s so tempting to be so enthralled with my new life that I could forget my past.
Once I got sober, I’ve found ways to constantly affirm a few simple truths. Meetings, conversations over coffee, podcasting, and repeated phrases are all ways for me to remember. For me, these truths are:
- My body processes alcohol differently than others and thus I choose not to drink.
- I’m either moving forward or backward in sobriety and I choose to move forward.
- Helping others is the best way to help myself.
- Honesty:
The truth is that honesty is pretty darn important. And liberating.
- Anonymity:
How can I say anonymity is important when I’m clearly not anonymous about my recovery on the Recovery Elevator podcast? Good question! Let me explain….
Anonymity is a coin with two sides. One side is what probably 99% of the world would think of when then think of 12 step groups. It’s the idea that “who you see here, and what you hear here, stays here.” These groups need to be a safe landing pad for newcomers and a place where people know it is safe to talk freely. Anonymity also keeps the group focused on certain principles and not on personalities. Principles are timeless and personalities can be fickle. These groups need to stay anonymous.
The only problem with this concept is that people often take it too far and use it as an excuse to fiercely stay private about their reasons for not drinking. This secrecy perpetuates the shame, stigma and loneliness associated with alcoholism. Those still struggling are never able to learn that many people around them also struggle. It is such a shame because there are few things that can bring people together in this world like a common problem! Imagine the empathy we could feel and help we could be if we knew what others around us were truly struggling with. And this brings me to the other side of the coin…
I believe there are absolutely times NOT to be anonymous. Growth happens outside of your comfort zone. A great way to grow in sobriety is to start sharing your story with others. Maybe you start with your significant other and then move to close family, and then expand to your trusted friends. Not only does growth happens with each layer of people we tell, so does our ability to be of service to someone else who may be struggling.
- Acceptance:
Acceptance is the answer.
Acceptance is the answer.
Acceptance is the answer.
Our efforts are futile until we accept that we are powerless over alcohol. Our life won’t be truly happy until we accept that every person, place or thing is exactly the way it is meant to be in this moment. It is then, that I’m reminded that I don’t need to change the world; I just need the courage to change myself. It’s with this acceptance that the journey begins and it’s with this acceptance that living peacefully is possible.
I love a quote from Pam, an interviewee, “you must go through it to get to it.” By accepting life as it comes, we are then able to achieve true happiness.
- Recovery network:
One must have a network of other sober individuals who they can do life with. This disease is communal and within five minutes of being around another alcoholic, relief seems to always come. The network grows and changes over time but it almost always consists of people who can help you, people who you can help and friends you naturally don’t want to let down. Remember, there are few things that bring people together as powerfully as a common struggle.
- The Journey:
Recovery, like life, is a journey. It’s a darn hard, often ugly, unending journey. It’s a journey we didn’t start out in life wanting and it’s a journey we only really end when we die. But I think too many of us subconsciously think the goal of sobriety is to simply not to drink from now until we die. Yes, that is definitely an important goal but what good is that if we still live miserably. The trick is to find ways to be both sober and happy.
I also think too many of us subconsciously do just enough work in sobriety to stay sober. Thus, its like we walk the path of happy destiny as slowly as possible. I’m not judging here because we all are on our own path. In this year of interviewing people for the podcast, I have found that the people who seem the happiest in sobriety are the ones who aren’t afraid to put a little skip in their step down this path of sobriety.
- Helping others:
I know the term “helping others” sounds so cliché! It’s also the last thing anyone new in sobriety wants to hear. Maybe that is why I’m putting it last. Maybe that is also why helping others doesn’t show up until the very last of the 12 steps. Regardless, there does seem to be some magic in that helping others really does end up helping ourselves. I think maybe we can call it sobriety karma. Yes, let’s call it sobriety karma. I like that.
I really look forward to what this next year has in store for my sobriety and for the Recovery Elevator podcast. It’s a journey I’m walking with you all and it’s a journey that widens with the addition of each of your voices. Thanks for being here and thanks for listening!
You took the elevator down but you need to take the stairs back up. You can do this!
Recovery Elevates,
Paul
Be sure to join the Recovery Elevator Private Accountability Facebook Group.
Be sure to expand your recovery network in and Seattle on February 27th and San Francisco on March 5th.
by Paul Churchill | Feb 8, 2016 | Podcast
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In this episode Scott, an attorney on the east coast, shares how he has reached 2.5 “great” months of sobriety.
Contempt prior to investigation!
Today marks the 51st episode of what started almost a year ago as a way for me to simply hold myself accountable. I made the commitment then to do at least 52 episodes and as I approach this number its hard not to be overwhelmed with the impact this podcast has had on myself and also, unexpectedly, on many of you.
I mean, first off, 51 episodes later, I’m still sober! (1 year, 4 months and 6 days according to my recovery elevator app) – which is a miracle! But I see an unintended consequence is that many of you are also finding ways to stay sober and find happiness in recovery. It’s amazing to see what happens when we all put our minds together!
So for that, and all of you listening, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. There is rarely a day that I don’t get an email from a listener who shares how touched they are by something one of our guests said on the podcast. I mean there have been over 50 guests who have shared their story and these stories have been downloaded over 160,000 times. The impact of us simply, and honestly, sharing our stories is bringing hope to many who might not have otherwise found it. Please keep sending me emails with your story, I never get tired of reading them even if I don’t have time to respond to every one know that I read every one and cherish them all.
And because of you and your desire to continue the discussions after each podcast we started the private Facebook recovery elevator accountability group. I remember being amazed when we reached 60 members of the group and as I release today’s podcast we are rapidly approaching 450 members with new members being added every day. Its so amazing to see you all in the group sharing your story, asking questions, sharing wisdom and encouragement, checking in on each other and ultimately helping yourself and others stay sober. And it’s because of the things happening in this group that we are in the final stages of setting up an even better platform for us all to interact outside the podcast which will be several regions accountability groups which feed into the community forum.
Its all something I could not have imagined a year ago and it is a testament to the power of what can happen when we get honest and get out of our comfort zone. So, just in case you are wondering, I may get a bit sentimental and maybe even a bit emotional as we approach our 52nd episode but I’m not planning on stopping after our 52nd episode. You guys have stuck with me so I’m staying here and stick’n with you.
You know, after doing today’s interview, I was reminded of one of the most devastating things I’ve noticed during this busy year of podcasting, being interviewed by others and speaking at schools. It is the stigma associated with alcoholism. Because most people don’t even know the definition of who an alcoholic really is, they associate it with the worst stereotypes society has with problem drinkers. Bums under a bridge, domestic violence, liver cirrhosis, drunken driving, weak “will power” and the list can go on. The truth is, I don’t even like to talk about this stigma because it seems to only strengthen it. Heck, it is this stigma, and the repulsion we feel about being associated with this stigma that keep many of us from ever getting help!
The truth is, this stigma is wrong, dangerous, and it needs to change. I’m thinking of coming up with a name for it, like I did for Gary – my addiction. Maybe I’ll name this stigma Stanley. Sure, like any good lie, there may be an element of truth in this stigma but many of the people I’ve met over the last year have lives that in no way resemble this stereotype. I think today’s guest is another good example of this.
Alcoholism, like many of this century’s hot social issues (race relations, women’s rights, gay rights, etc) also suffers from something I like to call “contempt prior to investigation.” For when we really investigate who an alcoholic is we find that there is really only two defining factors: 1) We tend to have a mental obsession that makes it seem impossible to not have that first drink and 2) When we start drinking a physical allergy kicks in and we can’t control our drinking. That’s it. Period. Let me repeat it: 1) We tend to have a mental obsession that makes it seem impossible to not have that first drink and 2) When we start drinking a physical allergy kicks in and we can’t control our drinking. Alcoholism has been defined as a disease by the American Medical Association in 1056 and it does not make person good or bad. Period.
Do you guys want to know the crazy thing about this stigma?!… With all the alcoholics I have spoken with over the last year, and all the non-alcoholics, it is BY FAR the “still drinking alcoholic” who has the most negative association with the word alcoholic. Normal drinkers often see it as a medical issue and one with treatment options. Recovering alcoholics have often worked through the association and seem to have no problem being associated with the term. Ironically, it’s the very people who need the help who have the most negative association with the word.
And if we have done one thing by sharing our stories this year, I hope it is that we’ve helped each of us realize that we are not all that different, and we are not all that bad! In fact, most of us are making amazing and courageous progress in our lives. We are doing the things that, I believe, we will find the most meaningful when reflecting back on our lives from our deathbed. We are making amazing friendships, we are looking at our career not as a job but as a way to serve others, we are learning to love ourselves and we are finding joy. We truly are the lucky ones.
So, it’s simple. It’s not easy. But it’s so simple when you take away the stigma! Stanley, goodbye!
Our guest today, Scott, seems to have this figured out and I love when we talk about how being an alcoholic is only one area of our life and it by no means defines us.
In today’ talk he keeps it simple and he is a man of action. He is a successful lawyer, who has raised a nice family of 4 kids and has been married for over 30 years. By all accounts, looking in, he is living the dream. He is highly functional, very intelligent, and what we call in Montana “a man’s man.” But you will hear him say it: he regrets the “blank memories” or the memories not made while drinking. He is a great, and honorable, person who see’s that drinking has held him back from truly being the person he was designed to be and he is making a change.
So as you listen today, be reminded that you too are on a journey of becoming the person YOU were designed to be. For most of us it happens slowly as we continually take action applying the principles of recovery to our lives. For others, like you will hear today, there can be a profound spiritual experience which kick-starts the process. The key is, that no matter what the catalyst is, we never forget why we march this path of happy destiny. It’s in this mindset and in our daily actions, that we find freedom from the obsession to drink and freedom to become a little more of the person we want to be. I think you will find that today’s guest, Scott, is well on his way.
His story is so inspiring and so full of value bombs it could be a 2 part series! But instead of doing that, I’ll just encourage you to listen to a few powerful themes:
– Without saying it, Scott touches on all three of the first 12 steps in a powerful way.
– Scott is not a “wu-wu” spiritual guy and I cant help but be inspired by how profound spirituality is in his recovery.
– Scott’s journey from “contempt prior to investigation” of alcoholism to now having an acceptance that is super charging his life.
“You Might be an Alcoholic if” – Thank you Megan for compiling these for me on weekly basis.
-You go snow-snorkeling in the nude in Wisconsin. -Christine
-You know you are out of wine so you stop and “borrow” / steal a bottle from your in laws house on the way home. The next day when you go to replace “borrowed” /stolen bottle you get busted in their house and make up some lame story about how you were just looking for your child’s coat that he may have left there. -Julie
-The only reason you write the newspaper is to advocate repealing the ban on Sunday alcohol sales. -Jon
-You are a youth elder at Church and decide, not only to drink before driving a van full of middle schoolers around town for a holiday event, but continue to drink while driving. The only reason you do not smoke the pot you have with you is that you did not get the chance. (but did so immediately after!) TY
-You might be an alcoholic if… you use a bar stool as a walker so you don’t fall down!
Maggie
Be sure to join the Recovery Elevator Private Accountability Facebook Group.
Be sure to expand your recovery network in and Seattle on February 27th and San Francisco on March 5th.
