by Paul Churchill | Aug 18, 2020 | Podcast
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Alan took his last drink December 23, 2019. With almost 6 months (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Announcing Recovery Elevator’s first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You.
The New York Times article “Should We Be Drinking Less?” is from July 10th, 2020. It’s the stark contrast to articles which tout having 1-2 glasses of wine has healthy benefits or how rose will help you through motherhood. The idea that moderate drinking is acceptable actually keeps people drinking because it’s seen as ok in the eyes of society.
There is a shift that is happening and people are questioning the narrative of what’s acceptable when drinking.
[7:47] Odette introduces Alan.
Alan lives outside Atlanta and is 49 years old. His last drink was the day before Christmas Eve 2019. He drank everything and was blackout drunk that night. His 15 year old daughter had been at a friend’s house and came home to find her father passed out in a chair with a spilled glass of wine. The next morning knowing his daughter had seen that changed the course of his life. He didn’t want to live that way any longer.
Alan’s daughter mentioned above is actually one of triplets. He has three 15 year old children and has been married to his wife for almost 18 years. He’s in software sales and is trying to figure out what he likes to do for fun now that he’s sober. He enjoys health and fitness and has a Peloton.
[18:37] Walk me through your drinking career.
Alan said that he began drinking in high school and it started out normal, transitioned into college and that drinking atmosphere. College for him was one big party. He continued the pace of college drinking afterwards. He worked for a year in Aspen and drank 7 days a week. He returned to Atlanta, while his drinking slowed, he was always concerned about where the next drink was coming from and this is when his drinking became abnormal. Alan believes he was covering up fear with his drinking. Fear of fitting in, fear of getting a good job, fear of making enough money, fear of meeting the right girl, fear of getting a big title. The fear was gone when he drank.
[27:15] Tell me about joining Café RE and how was that first month?
Alan said Café RE was the springboard to connection. He didn’t realize the connection was so powerful with other people looking to live the same life. After feeling like he had been driving in foggy conditions for 10 years, the fog cleared and he was able to see finally.
[33:36] What works for you when you have a craving?
Alan said he has learned a ton of tools in Café RE. The biggest one is from Paul’s book, Alcohol is SH!T, which says to “play the tape forward”. While he can romanticize the drink on his porch, Alan can also now see where that one drink will lead. He’s seen the movie, he knows the ending and it’s not good!
[36:11] How has your family dynamic changed?
Alan said about 3 months in his wife looked at him and told him he was like a new person. He is present now. While he’s always been a father who was physically there, he always existed in the fog. He told his daughter that he was getting help for his drinking and that’s a huge accountability step for him, one he can never go back on.
[41:00] What have you discovered about yourself?
Alan said he’s learned he can juggle a lot of things in life. He has the ability to handle what life throws at him.
[42:51] If you could talk to day 1 Alan, what would you say?
Connect with likeminded individuals as soon as possible. Do not attempt to do this alone.
[43:20] Had you tried to stop drinking previously?
Alan said he probably tried about 4 times seriously. But never had connection, resources, understanding or community. He always went at it alone and would call himself a Dry Drunk.
[44:52] Rapid Fire Round
- What do you bring to a BYO party?
Bubly, 1 can of Monster Energy drink
- What is a drinking myth you’ve seen debunked?
Myth: You can’t have fun without drinking.
Truth: You can have SO much fun without drinking (and the next day!)
- Do you celebrate milestones?
Yes, but the journey is never ending.
- What are some words of wisdom you can share with listeners?
If you are thinking about this path, I promise you life is better without the booze. The fog will lift!
You may have to say adios to alcohol…
if you’re at the airport bar and the gate is right across from you, but you intentionally miss your flight so you can keep drinking.
Odette’s challenge this week:
Share the NY Times article with someone you know. Plant the seed of living a life away from alcohol.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
- Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
- You can find more information about our events here.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – How about we just stick to La Croix, sound good?- I love you guys”
by Paul Churchill | Aug 10, 2020 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Jim took his last drink April 7, 2020. With just over 70 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Today Odette opens talking about finding the better you and her own take away from Holly Whitaker’s Quit Like A Woman. She focuses on what Holly says about when a craving strikes. Learn to relax into the craving rather than distract.
RASINS
Recognize
Allow
Set aside the story
Investigate what is happening in your body
Name the sensations
Surf
Let’s set the scene: You have finished your 100th zoom call of the day and you are ready to relax for the night. You want to pour a glass of wine. Here is how to implement RASINS.
Admit the craving, allow the craving to build, set aside the negative thoughts telling you that you suck. Maybe try a meditation practice. Focus on how your body is feeling. Is your heart racing, are your palms sweating? Ride the wave of emotion, this is manageable.
[7:12] Odette introduces Jim.
Jim is 71 years old and he lives on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. He is about to retire fully from his career in public education. He’s been married for 47 years and has 3 children and 4 grandkids. He enjoys hiking, reading, swimming and volunteering at church and in schools. He has recently picked up golf too!
[11:33] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking?
Jim said he began drinking in high school and also drank in college. He joined a fraternity and soon after stopped going to call and flunked out. His father told him he was not welcome at home, so Jim joined the Merchant Marines after that. He said that although drinking was prohibited on the boats, that was far from the reality. After a winter in the Merchant Marines he was drafted into the Vietnam War, however his college agreed to re-admit him. Once back in college he was right back where he started. He did meet his “beautiful bride” while in school and she got him going back to class and he did graduate. His chosen career was something that he felt was more important that his drinking. So, he didn’t drink before work, but after work, all bets were off. Once he began to approach retirement, he had more time on his hands and the habits of college drinking returned.
[15:14] Do you remember your emotional state when your father told you that you weren’t allowed back home?
Jim said at the time he was very resentful and thought his father was not loving and caring. He felt his father was putting his own reputation and career over Jim’s circumstances. Looking back on it, Jim can say he knows that his father made a great decision.
[22:15] Did you notice your relationships changing/eroding?
Jim said his own ability to be a pleasant person when he was drinking was almost non-existent. He had a lot of irritability over very little things.
[25:38] Do you still have cravings?
Jim said he still has cravings. He uses HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) when a craving strikes. He then reflects on the thought and feeling and reminds himself this will happen and to “not let it shake your tree” because this will pass.
[27:29] How did you find Recovery Elevator/ resources for this journey?
Jim said was listening to NPR shows and thought that there must be something recovery specific out there. He found Recovery Elevator from a google search and made it a part of his every day.
[28:50] Did you notice you had to change certain aspects of your entire routine?
Jim said that he wakes up every morning and looks at a stack of notecards he has created. He reminds himself every day his reasons why he’s stopped drinking. He focuses on reading and reddit subs and meditation.
[33:46] Do you find nighttime to be a more challenging time of the day?
Jim said he doesn’t struggle at night. He also had notecards on his bedside table. He tries to end every day thinking about what he’s grateful for and on a positive note.
[34:44] Have you notice changes in your sleep patterns?
Jim said yes. His dreams are clear and amazing. He sleeps more soundly.
[37:23] What have you learned about yourself that has really surprised you?
Jim said he used to have a lot of self-doubt if he could do this. He’s learned we can all do this.
[39:00] What are you excited about right now?
Jim said he feels like a new person in life and so the possibilities are opening up. He’s no longer shackled by alcohol. His schedule is open.
[40:54] Rapid Fire Round
- What is your favorite NA beverage?
Flavored water.
- What is a drinking myth you’ve seen debunked?
If you’re old there’s no sense in trying to stop drinking. (not true!)
- What would you say to Day 1 Jim?
Jim as you walk through day 1, walk through that door, it’s going to be awesome. You will not regret one second of this.
- What are some words of wisdom you can share with listeners?
I could have done this sooner, just let it go. There’s a family out there ready to help you. You can do this.
You may have to say adios to alcohol…
Adios, good riddance and see you later alligator!
Odette’s challenge this week:
Write down the meaning of RASINS and put it into practice this week.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
- Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
- You can find more information about our events
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside out- I love you guys”
by Paul Churchill | Aug 3, 2020 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
John took his last drink on August 31, 2019. With about 10 months (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).
Today Odette opens quoting from Pema Chödrön’s “When Things Fall Apart”.
“Impermanence is the goodness of reality. Just as the four seasons are in continual flux, winter changing from spring to summer to autumn; just as day becomes night, light becoming dark becoming light again– in the same way, everything is constantly evolving.”
Everything that ends is also the beginning of something else. What happens when we see this chaos as harmony and change right now is the new normal. It takes time to get comfortable with change and this stage of life is a season. Let’s sit with it and see where we can go.
[6:53] Odette introduces John.
John is 38 years old and originally from Fayetteville, North Carolina. John is also married to Odette and they have 2 children together. They live in San Diego, CA. For fun, John likes to surf, bike, run, or play golf… he just likes being active.
[11:19] Can you give listeners a history of your drinking?
John said growing up drinking was part of the culture of where he lived. He started drinking in high school on weekends and continued in college. His drinking changed when it became a post-work habit. He said he modeled his drinking after his parents: put your head down, do you work, have a drink after work. From the age of 25 – 38 he was drinking as a reward at the end of a day. However, he noticed that he was using alcohol to numb out other things in his life.
[14:00] Was there a moment when you noticed that alcohol was no longer working?
John said in his 30s was when he began to question if he had a problem with drinking. As his family grew, he saw a line in the sand. On one side of the line was keeping drinking and on the other side was his marriage and family.
Odette and John discuss their marriage and how each of their paths to recovery has followed along both together and separately at different times. They discuss the work they have done on themselves and as a couple.
[25:26] From an inside look what are some of the biggest differences?
John said a lot of his initial quitting drinking was about trying to prove a point, prove to himself and others that he didn’t have a problem with alcohol. Within a month it changed and began to leave alcohol behind for himself. He noticed improvements in almost all aspects of his life.
[28:51] Can you tell us about how fatherhood has been different?
John said when he was drinking, he would show up to parenthood not ready to parent. He was physically there but not there mentally or emotionally. He is now trying to make amends to his children now by being as present as he can be. Every connecting moment with his children is a cherished moment.
[32:13] Tell us about a day in your life right now, what tools are you using?
John said he’s a little bit of a lone wolf. He relies a lot on Odette as an emotional outlet. He does not struggle with cravings during the day, but at night when he’s “done for the day” is when he has to dig a little deeper. He focuses on spending time with his family. John drinking a lot of soda water and kombucha and NA beer.
[34:55] What’s your favorite NA beer brand?
He has an order coming from Athletic Brewing and is looking forward to trying it.
Gruvi IPA
Two Roots, Straight Dank IPA- it’s a very hop-forward IPA.
[36:06] How has it been reintroducing yourself into social situations?
John said that the first few months were hard. There was a lot of pretending. Once he had the mind shift and was leaving alcohol behind for himself, it was a lot easier. There is a confidence that came with his decision.
[39:16] Have you received any pushback?
John said that his true friends are supportive. There’s the occasional random person who isn’t in the know that questions him, but not from a negative place.
[41:53] What possibilities in life are you excited about?
John said he’s just really excited to keep on this path and see where it takes him. He’s looking forward to his kids starting school, the next steps in his career, the fun trips they have planned as a family, and with his wife. There’s a positive future ahead.
[43:59] Rapid Fire Round
- What is a memorable moment you’ve had so far?
Surf trip sober over Christmas 2019.
- What are some of your favorite resources?
Armchair Expert podcast (Dax Shepard)
- What would you say to Day 1, John?
It’s going to be a lot easier than you think it is. Trust the decision. Strap in and lean in. Trust your wife.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to others?
Just do it, hop in. Do it for 3 months and see what happens.
You may need to ditch the booze if…
You go on a camping trip with your wife and the last thing you remember is having a great time at dinner and then you wake up in a tent alone, with none of your family there.
Odette’s challenge this week:
What are you trying to hold on to right now? What do you think would happen if that changed? Are you not allowing yourself to enjoy it now that you have it out of fear that it will be gone? Everything that you have in your life right now is a gift if you choose to see it that way. So just think about that prompt.
Affiliate Link for Encourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why, and the How. REGISTRATION IS OPEN! The new course will start on 8/4/2020. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
- There will be the DTB course starting 11/3/20.
- You can find more information about our events
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – Every single thing that you are looking for is already inside of you- I love you guys”
by Paul Churchill | Jul 27, 2020 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Andrew took his last drink June 02, 2020. With 9 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Finding the better you with Odette. Today’s topic: Setting boundaries.
According to https://positivepsychology.com/ Healthy boundaries are those set to make sure that you are mentally and emotionally stable. You can also think about it as our boundaries might be ridged, loose or completely non-existent. The lack of boundaries may indicate that we do not have a strong identity or that we are intermeshed with someone else or something else: insert alcohol. Odette lobbies for protecting your energy, which is a version of creating boundaries. Set and honor your boundaries. When you set new boundaries and start living them it might feel uncomfortable, and that’s normal. It gets easier and better when you stand up for yourself and share your boundaries with others. Check in with yourself often.
[8:25] Odette introduces Andrew.
Andrew is 37 years old and lives in Brisbane Australia. When Andrew and Odette first began talking about scheduling this interview, Andrew had more than 35 days AF. He did some field research and is now back with 9 days AF.
He drives trucks for a living, is married and has 3 boys under the age of 7. For fun he likes to ride his trail bike.
[14:19] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking?
Andrew’s first drink was at age 13. Instantly he fell in love with alcohol. He liked the person he became when he drank. When he was 15 he worked in construction with older guys and that gave him access to alcohol. As an adult the drinking increased and increased, but he never thought it was a problem until his late 20s. Andrew has known over the past 10 years that he didn’t drink normally. He drank more than people and alcohol became an identity. His first son was born when he was 30 and he tried to grow up. Andrew noticed he couldn’t stop drinking.
Andrew said his relationship changed from having fun as a couple to serious and his wife mentioning that it needs to be different. They couldn’t go to the shops without his kids mentioning “oh we need to go to the bottle shop for dad”.
[21:34] Did you hit a bottom or what made you decide to pursue an AF life?
Andrew said all the relationships in his life began to fail. He never blamed the alcohol but blamed the other person. A few years ago having a surgery that required him to stop drinking 2 weeks prior and his wife laughed at that suggestion. He wasn’t able to stop and drank up to surgery and that’s when he realized it was a problem.
[22:40] Did you seek help when you decided to try and stop drinking?
Andrew said he simply decided he wasn’t going to drink. He did reach out to a doctor who prescribed some pills that didn’t have any effect. His drinking continued on and off over the next few years. He often found himself googling if he was an alcoholic or not. This led right into the current COVID pandemic. Andrew decided he wanted to find a better life for himself, his wife and his kids.
[24:00] Did you attempt moderating before quitting?
Yes, Andrew said he tried to moderate his drinking. Being a truck driver for a living, he always had to have 0.0% alcohol to drive. He tried to promise himself he would only drink on weekends, but instead worked out how many drinks he could have in the afternoons and still have 0.0% alcohol level for work the next morning.
[26:06] Can you expand on the 6 week dry camp associated with your work?
Andrew explained that it wasn’t a company sponsored event. It was the work he was doing at the time and they lived on campus for a period of time. The campus he was on, was dry. He made it the 6 weeks, and on his way home he stopped for alcohol. He picked up exactly where he left off even through he was feeling proud for making it the 6 weeks.
[28:06] How had fatherhood changed?
Andrew said he’s more present now and is noticing how much his wife had been picking up in the area of childcare. He worries about different things now and he cares more about what is right and wrong.
[28:06] Tell us about a day in your life right now, what tools are you using?
Andrew said he’s still learning, this is a new journey for him. The traditional help isn’t available right now, everything is only online. He has discovered podcasts and listens as much as he can. He hopes to join an in person AA group.
[34:23] Have you received any negative feedback around your decision?
Andrew hasn’t received one negative comment from the people he’s told. Everyone is supportive, from family to friends to work colleagues.
[37:46] What possibilities are you excited for?
Andrew said in the long term he wants to have better and different relationships with his family. He’s looking to purchase a home with the money he’s saving from not drinking.
[38:54] If you could talk to Day 1 Andrew, what would you tell him?
You will encounter slip ups, but don’t beat yourself up. It‘s ok to not be perfect. Every day you don’t drink is perfect. There are no wasted days.
[39:40] Rapid Fire Round
- What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had in this journey?
How different the world is sober. These a lot of good in small things.
- What is a memorable moment you’ve had so far?
Knowing that I have enough strength to actually do this.
- What is your favorite AF beverage?
Slurpees.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to others?
Just jump in and try. Build the muscle, keep working at it.
You may need to ditch the booze if…
You drink drive on the way home, but you actually ride a motorbike.
Odette’s challenge this week:
Set a new boundaries and try it out!
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
- Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. REGISTRATION IS OPEN! The new course will start 8/4/2020. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
- There will be about DTB course starting 11/3/20.
- You can find more information about our events
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – When you say no to somebody else, you say yes to yourself. Remember to stay weird and protect your energy- I’ll see you next Monday.- I love you guys”
by Paul Churchill | Jul 20, 2020 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Heidi took her last drink on May 20, 2020. With 19 days (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).
Odette opens today welcoming normal drinkers. It has come to her attention that there are some listeners that are tuning in for educational purposes as a loved one has a problem with alcohol. Question for you normal drinkers: would you be interested in a Café RE group focused on you? Email Odette if you’re interested.
One of the most important books in Odette’s life is The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. It was referred to her when her father first went into rehab. Each day is a new passage to read and often she is overcome with the meaning and finds herself wanting to share the meditation for the day with others. While she’s not going to read from this book today, Odette is sharing with you all….
Storytime with Odette!
What Do You Do With a Problem? By Kobi Yamada
[8:13] Odette introduces Heidi.
Heidi is 28 years old and originally from San Diego, but she’s lived all over. Right now she’s in Orange County, CA with her new husband. She works in career services with a focus on health and behavioral sciences. She’s an adjunct teacher and a CrossFit coach and group fitness leader. Heidi loves the outdoors and seeing live music, plays, and time with family and friends.
[14:05] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking?
Heidi’s first time really drinking was around the age of 16 / her junior year of high school. At the same time, she was a good student and took her studying and athletics very seriously. She only drank on weekends. In college she continued to be a good student and athlete while drinking, so she never felt that what she was doing should be questioned. At the end of her college career, she mentioned to a coach that she felt she might have a drinking problem. This coach dismissed her concerns because she “doing fine.”
[19:20] When you expressed concerns to your coach and he was dismissive, did you doubt him a little?
Heidi said internally she knew that her drinking was a problem, but at the same time, he gave her a free pass to keep drinking.
[17:16] Walk us through the last year or so of your drinking and what led up to your sober date?
Heidi grew up with obsessive-compulsive tendencies, specifically manifesting in self-harm. When alcohol became an option, it quieted the self-harm aspect. Once Heidi moved back to the West Coast and started working full time, she fell into a routine of grabbing some alcohol on the way home from work. A few glasses of wine became a bottle of wine became a few bottles of wine, then turned to liquor. She started a new job and it turned out to be miserable, so drinking in the evenings was what got her through the days. She and her husband were true drinking partners, so they fed off each other as well.
Last summer she noticed relationships with family members and her husband began to crumble and then she began to take a serious look at her drinking.
One of the changes she made was signing up for the Recovery Elevator Ditch the Booze course. The accountability provided was what she needed.
[33:49] Tell us about your experience with the Ditching The Booze course and the extra level of accountability.
Heidi craves connection and doesn’t find it overwhelming. Some people in her group check-in daily, some every few days, but the common denominator is everyone has the same struggle. So, everyone already understands. At a moment’s notice, she can give support and get support from the community.
[38:17] How has your family dynamic changed in these last 20 days?
Heidi said that due to the current pandemic there have been fewer social pressures to go out. At home, with her husband, there has been greater levels of connection. She did have a fear that all they had was drinking and that was why they were together. They began to open up and have new and genuine conversations about themselves. She’s having more moments of pure enjoyment with her husband.
[43:43] What possibilities have you excited right now?
Heidi said the increase in liveliness is exciting. She feels like a school kid again and full of hope. Being able to wake up early and coach at her gym without being still drunk or hungover. Being present with her husband and family member. Heidi is also seeing a new resurgence in her artistic side.
[42:20] Rapid Fire Round
- If you could talk to Day 1 Heidi, what would you tell her?
You can do things that you don’t think are possible right now but stick with it. You can sit with the uncomfortable feelings of a craving.
- What are some of your favorite resources in sobriety?
Café RE, This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, Alcohol is SH!T by Paul Churchill
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
You already know what that life is like, so why not just try.
You may need to ditch the booze if…
You pride yourself on your Christmas shopping by doing it all in one night with a few bottles of wine and then figure out what you bought when it arrives on your doorstep.
Odette’s challenge this week:
Take time this week to notice what you’ve been putting under the category of problems in your mind. Think about those problems and try to reframe. Can you see some opportunities coming out of them? Let yourself feel hopeful about the possibility that problems bring with them. They are there you just have to look at things differently. Remember that you are not alone and that together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why, and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
- You can find more information about our events
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – This isn’t a no to alcohol, but a yes to a better life – I love you guys.”
by Paul Churchill | Jul 13, 2020 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Michael took his last drink on May 13, 2019. With just over a year sober (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).
Odette opens today asking the question: Is this working? There are obvious moments where it is easy to recognize that life without alcohol is working. When people say you look refreshed, you wake up not hungover and you start sleeping well. But what about the not so obvious moments? The moments that are hard, the moments you miss drinking? Yes, those are the moment when growth and change and abundance are there and about to bloom. Trust, be patient, and stay the course.
[7:23] Odette introduces Michael.
Michael lives in Springfield, Missouri, and works in construction. He is married with 2 children. For fun, he works, plays video games, and spends as much time as possible with his family.
[8:24] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking?
Michael said he started drinking around the age of 14. He said it was something he was good at and within a year he was drinking a pint or more of liquor a day. He soon began drinking before school and after. In 2002 he joined the Marine Corps, which was his goal. In the military, he often couldn’t drink for stretches of time, so it became binge drinking episodes. But at the end of his 4 years in the Marine Corps, he realized he had a problem with drinking and asked for help. He was enrolled in a daily program through the military to learn about drinking.
After getting out of the military he worked construction, but then in 2008 re-enlisted in the Army. The 6 years he was in the Army, the drinking continued at a bottle a day, every day. He considered himself a very high bottom drinker because he was so high functioning within life.
[15:19] What was it that led you down the path to try going AF?
Michael said that he tried to stop multiple times over the years. He began to realize he wasn’t living his life to his best potential. He always tried to be the person setting the example for others, yet his inability to stop drinking was weighing on him. He needed to show that he could stop drinking for good. The idea that he couldn’t quit was his bottom.
[17:16] Walk us through what went through your mind on your day 1.
Michael said he woke up and said to himself “I need to quit, again.” He searched for podcasts that day and found Recovery Elevator. Podcasts allowed him to saturate his entire day with recovery. He downloaded the Sober Grid app and started reading that and the resources offered.
[21:13] How has your life without alcohol been different than what you originally thought?
Michael said he had a lot of fear about what he would do and who he would be not drinking. Once he quit, he was no longer avoiding emotions and in a fog. He was freed to just live his life. Michael has learned it’s ok to be sad or angry and that he will make it through.
[25:24] How has your family dynamic changed since you have been on this path?
Michael said that he’s happy and no longer hiding from his family. He’s a present and active member of his family and at a higher plateau of being a husband and a father. He’s always working on trying to be a better husband and father while at the same time learning to be a husband and a father for the first time since this is the first time through sober eyes.
[27:44] Walk us through a day in your life right now.
Michael said he wakes up, goes to work, and hangs out with his family. He prides himself on being an open person; he’s open about his sobriety, his PTSD, and his anxiety. He tries to lead by example and with being so open, he allows space for others to be open about their own struggles.
[30:22] What is your social life like now?
Michael said from the beginning he was honest about his not drinking with friends and co-workers. They were respectful and always offered not to drink around him, but he was always ok about around other people drinking. He said that he understood this was his choice and his alone. There were a few times he did walk away in the beginning, but now he’s comfortable around alcohol.
[31:55] What have you learned in this AF journey?
Michael said that he is really motivated and setting goals and accomplishing them. This past year has really reinforced this. He’s also rediscovering who he is as a person, not just an alcoholic.
One particular goal of Michael’s is to run a marathon.
[36:25] What possibilities are keeping you hopeful?
Michael said rediscovering daily life. He focuses on the little things in life and is finding joy in those things. He’s excited about mowing the lawn now!
[37:35] Do you still get cravings?
Michael said he doesn’t get cravings so much as he gets the idea of drinking still. Cravings are for the most part a non-thought.
[38:31] If you could talk to Day 1 Michael, what would you tell him?
Keep trying. Even if you don’t succeed today you can try again tomorrow.
[38:59] Rapid Fire Round
- What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you?
Being with my family after my father in law passed and really connecting with them.
- What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?
I am able to stop drinking.
- What are some of your favorite resources in sobriety?
Any recovery podcast, any app that helps you track your sobriety and music.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Just keep trying, we will figure this out. You will never succeed if you don’t keep trying.
You may need to ditch the booze if…
You’ve ever considered putting on a resume that you are a daily drinker but have never been late to work.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why, and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Remember? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
- You can find more information about our events
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – keep going, trust the process and try not to throw up when the road gets bumpy, we can do this – I love you guys,”
