by Kris Oyen | Jul 10, 2023 | Podcast
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Episode 438 – Expectations
Today we have something different lined up. Instead of one interviewee, we’ve got a panel of sober rockstars who have been kicking ass and taking names in this field for a while now. You’re going to love it.
Recovery Elevator welcomes our newest sponsor, Athletic Greens.
[02:33] Highlights from Paul:
We are full of expectations. Both for ourselves and other people. Top of that list is we expect happiness in a world where nothing is guaranteed. We have been conditioned throughout our life that any discomfort represents failure, and a certain product, drink or pill will end the suffering.
How do we let expectations go? It’s impossible. All you can do is become aware you are expecting something different for yourself or other people.
Another reason why expectations are dangerous is it throws gratitude right out of the window. We also expect the earth to keep providing the natural resources needed for our survival, which are never guaranteed. We definitely need to approach sunshine, fresh drinking water, clean air, and shelter from a stance of gratitude opposed to expecting them to be delivered to us because we deserve them. More on that next week.
“The days in which my gratitude exceeds my expectations are really good days” – Ray Wylie Hubbard.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator – 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[10:54] The interviewees introduce themselves:
Laura Cathcart Robbins, the host of “The Only One in the Room” podcast and author of the book Stash: My Life in Hiding.
Eric Zimmer, the hose of “The One You Feed” podcast and creator of a program called Spiritual Habits.
Paul Churchill, the host of “Recovery Elevator” podcast (who we all know and love).
Gill hosts the Sober Powered podcast and is also a chemistry professor in the Boston area.
Gill wants to talk about early sobriety and what the experience was like for each guest.
[14:33] Laura has almost 15 years in sobriety. She shares that her first month of sobriety was spent in rehab. She hated it and felt resentful of those that enjoyed it. She attended a lot of recovery meetings and felt sentenced and never felt like she fit in initially. Laura remembers the early days often and knows she doesn’t want to return there.
[17:18] Eric first got sober from heroin when he was 24. He stayed sober for about eight years but returned to alcohol for a few years. He has since gotten sober again and has been sober for 16 years. What Eric remembers about early recovery is that just quitting substances wasn’t enough. He was plagued by the war that went on between using and not using and he feels that after some time in recovery, the turmoil subsides.
[20:08] Paul had a moment of clarity during a wedding he was DJ’ing where he was extremely drunk and had to ask a colleague to finish. He quit drinking a few days later and planned on going to rehab. He decided to wait and try recovery with AA and spending more time in nature.
[22:48] Gill is three and half years sober. She quit because it was affecting her mental health. She was scared to share her issues with anyone initially, so she did the first few months in recovery by herself.
The guests continue to share their experiences around their early sobriety, their readiness to quit drinking and reflect on what helped them in recovery then and what continues to help them now.
Connect with Laura – The Only One in the Room Podcast
Connect with Eric – The One You Feed
Connect with Gill – Sober Powered
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You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up, you can do this.
I love you guys.
by Kerri MacFarlane | Oct 15, 2025 | Alcohol Free, Blog, Helpful Tips, The first Year
Spiritual healing after quitting alcohol can be subtle, surprising, and deeply meaningful. It’s also the focus of Part 3 in our three-month series on the healing that takes place in your first year alcohol-free.
In Part 1 we explored physical healing, and in Part 2 we covered mental healing. Now, we’re shifting to something less tangible but equally powerful—your connection to self, others, and the world around you.
Let’s dig in.
🌱 Spiritual Healing After Quitting Alcohol: What May Happen in Week One
- For many, nothing profound happens immediately. That’s normal.
- But you might have had a moment before your last drink when time seemed to pause—a flicker of presence that let you really see where alcohol was taking you.
- That moment of clarity, however fleeting, may have been the start.
🍃 First Month of Spiritual Healing After Quitting Alcohol
- Your intuition might quietly peek out and ask, “Is it safe to return yet?”
- You may feel a pull toward nature—a walk in the woods, leaning on a tree, or just sitting still under the sky.
- You might experience a few moments of pure gratitude—not for things, but for being.
- Even something simple, like watching a bird or a breeze in the trees, might hold your attention longer than usual.
🌌 Spiritual Growth and Awareness in Months 1–6 Alcohol-Free
- Synchronicities start happening—those “too weird to be coincidence” moments.
- You begin to feel the emotions of others more deeply, maybe even animals or the earth itself.
- You start listening to your intuition and trusting it.
- Your connection to something greater than yourself—something that doesn’t come in a bottle—starts to take root.
- Authentic wisdom bubbles up. Sometimes you surprise yourself with what you say (and yes, you sound a bit like a fortune cookie).
- You begin to sense the universe has a sense of humor—and you’re in on the joke.
✨ Spiritual Healing in Year One of Sobriety: A New Connection to Life
- You start to notice the spaces between life’s events, not just the events themselves.
- You realize this journey isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about unbecoming what was never really you.
- Books like The Power of Now, The Dao, or The Artist’s Way might find their way into your life—often “accidentally.”
- You may pause before killing a spider, recognizing you’re both part of something shared.
- Decisions shift—you’re guided more by intuition than logic.
- Material things matter less. Moments matter more.
- You find yourself standing in awe of a canyon, a sunset, or a mountain—and feeling it all in a way you never used to.
- You begin seeking wisdom from ancestors, indigenous cultures, spiritual texts—things you once dismissed.
- You may start meditating or exploring your inner self.
- You discover flow states—where time disappears, and presence takes over.
🌊 Long-Term Spiritual Healing and Transformation in Sobriety
- You begin helping others heal, not by fixing, but by simply walking alongside them.
- You value silence and listening as much as speaking.
- Gratitude becomes your default mode—less about what’s missing, more about what already is.
- Creativity returns: music, poetry, painting, dancing—even spontaneous singing while cooking. (The Artist’s Way is a great guide here.)
- The dream world and waking world start to dance—you dream of an owl, then see one the next day.
- Your inner child reawakens—you feel playful, curious, light again.
- You feel less like a wave, more like the ocean. Life moves around you, but it no longer knocks you down.
- You stop labeling life events as “good” or “bad”—they just are, and somehow, they all fit.
- You begin to trust that everything is unfolding exactly as it should.
- And eventually, you realize:
What you’ve been searching for all along has been inside you the whole time.
🌟 The Healing Never Stops
So here we are—three parts, three layers of healing: physical, mental, and spiritual. This list? It’s just the beginning.
Sobriety doesn’t just take something away—it gives you back a connection you didn’t know you were missing. The healing deepens, the awareness expands, and the sense of peace grows.
Whether you’re a week in or years down the road—keep going. You’re not becoming someone new. You’re just remembering who you were all along.
📖 Missed a part? Catch up here:
👉 Part 1: Physical Healing After Quitting Alcohol
👉 Part 2: Mental Healing After Quitting Alcohol
#SpiritualHealingAfterQuittingAlcohol #AlcoholFreeLiving #SobrietyJourney #YearOneAF #EmotionalRecovery #SpiritualGrowth #SoberCurious #HealingInSobriety #RecoveryElevator #ThisIsAF #ConnectionIsTheOppositeOfAddiction
by Kerri MacFarlane | May 15, 2025 | Blog, Early Sobriety, Expectations, Helpful Tips, Resources
by Kris Oyen | Jan 25, 2021 | Podcast
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Sasha took her last drink on May 19th, 2019. This is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
Check out the free meditations on the Recovery Elevator page here!
Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You
When Odette doesn’t want to forget something, she sends herself an email. Recently she found one to herself with the subject line: Positive Relationships. The body of the email said simply: “The biggest factor for cultivating resilience” (Season 17, Grey’s Anatomy)
We need resilience when embarking on this journey. Not just for this, but for everything life throws at us. Our journey is far from perfect, when we fall we need the courage to get back up and that’s why we need community. This is why together is better. Having one person in your corner can make a huge difference for you.
How many positive relationships to you have and are you fostering them?
[7:19] Odette introduces Sasha.
Sasha is from New Jersey and works in IT. She lives with her fiancé and their dog. For fun she likes to read, do jigsaw puzzles, meditate and collecting old books from estate sales.
[10:37] Can you give listeners some background on your story?
Sasha said she started drinking around the age of 18. It wasn’t anything that was intense, but she knew from the first drink it would make her be “her true self.” She got a DUI at the 20. Around 21 was when she started drinking alone. When she was 23/24 she was crying and falling apart every time she drank. Her thoughts were preoccupied with drinking all the time.
[13:48] Did the DUI make you question your drinking, or did you think that this was just something young people did?
Sasha said it was both. She knew she drank in a way that wasn’t normal but felt because she was so young it was also ok. Looking back she knew it should have been a big warning sign.
[15:36] Did you have any rock bottom moments?
Sasha said rock bottom was when she was drinking alone and miserable. She had the realization she was miserable but didn’t know how to get out of it.
[16:13] How did you get yourself out of the cycle?
Sasha said she was listening to the RE podcast and reading Eckart Tolle and doing the Sam Harris ‘Wake Up’ course and this gave her the realization she had a drinking problem. Her end goal when drinking was always to be drunk, so the solution was to have none.
[18:09] Was the podcast your first exposure to other stories of people’s drinking?
Sasha said after her DUI there was court mandated AA meetings and that was her first exposure. She loved hearing what people were going through because she could identify with them.
[21:20] What Tolle book were you reading?
The Power of Now
She was also reading In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts which covers many of the same themes.
[24:54] Were you having conversations with your fiancé about your drinking prior to May 20th?
Sasha said she always minimized it, so they never had direct conversations about her drinking. When she told him, he was very supportive and zero judgement. They continue to have conversations about her drinking.
[26:27] Did you feel relief when you told him?
Sasha said yes, a tremendous amount of relief. She was so lonely in her drinking and to have him be so accepting was what she needed.
[32:05] How was it for you right after you made the decision to stop drinking?
Sasha said for her it was like a switch flipped. She was so happy to be free from alcohol that her “pink cloud” lasted about 6 months. It helped that so many other things fell into place in that time as well. Sasha received a promotion at work, they got a dog, she was connecting with herself, reconnected with old friends and all the small things put themselves in place. It was hard for her to imagine going back to drinking.
She had a craving around month 8, but was able to play the tape forward and that tool helped her not have a drink.
[36:27] What happened after the pink cloud? What other tools do you use?
Sasha said this time quitting was different, she was able to flip a switch. She no longer romanticizes drinking. But overall she hasn’t had the white knuckling craving this time.
[39:27] Did you have a routine in your day that you had to fill with new things?
Sasha said it was when she left work. In the past she would leave work and pick-up alcohol on the way home. At first, she was distracting herself with seeing friends and taking her dog for a walk or eating. Getting out of the house was really important.
[44:55] What type of responses did you get from people when you told them about this decision?
Sasha said most people were supportive. Every once in a while, someone questions the decision. Some of the people she used to drink with have also come out and admitted they are struggling and she has tried to point them in the right direction for resources.
[46:48] Rapid Fire Round
- What would you say to your younger self?
Give her a hug and tell her everything will be ok.
- What’s your favorite ice cream flavour?
Chocolate
- What has recovery made possible for you?
To live a life of peace and to be vulnerable with others.
- What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners thinking about ditching the booze?
Stick with it if you’re struggling to quit. The fact that you are even trying to do this right now is huge. Find resources that will work for you.
You may have to say adios to booze if…
it’s 2pm on a Tuesday and you’re googling, “Do I have a drinking problem?” with one eye closed because you can’t see the phone.
Odette’s weekly challenge:
Make a small inventory of your relationships. Which ones would you like to see changes in? Which ones would you like to cultivate?
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – when we choose to take care of the small things, the big things seem to take care of themselves – I love you guys”
by Paul Churchill | Aug 3, 2020 | Podcast
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John took his last drink on August 31, 2019. With about 10 months (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).
Today Odette opens quoting from Pema Chödrön’s “When Things Fall Apart”.
“Impermanence is the goodness of reality. Just as the four seasons are in continual flux, winter changing from spring to summer to autumn; just as day becomes night, light becoming dark becoming light again– in the same way, everything is constantly evolving.”
Everything that ends is also the beginning of something else. What happens when we see this chaos as harmony and change right now is the new normal. It takes time to get comfortable with change and this stage of life is a season. Let’s sit with it and see where we can go.
[6:53] Odette introduces John.
John is 38 years old and originally from Fayetteville, North Carolina. John is also married to Odette and they have 2 children together. They live in San Diego, CA. For fun, John likes to surf, bike, run, or play golf… he just likes being active.
[11:19] Can you give listeners a history of your drinking?
John said growing up drinking was part of the culture of where he lived. He started drinking in high school on weekends and continued in college. His drinking changed when it became a post-work habit. He said he modeled his drinking after his parents: put your head down, do you work, have a drink after work. From the age of 25 – 38 he was drinking as a reward at the end of a day. However, he noticed that he was using alcohol to numb out other things in his life.
[14:00] Was there a moment when you noticed that alcohol was no longer working?
John said in his 30s was when he began to question if he had a problem with drinking. As his family grew, he saw a line in the sand. On one side of the line was keeping drinking and on the other side was his marriage and family.
Odette and John discuss their marriage and how each of their paths to recovery has followed along both together and separately at different times. They discuss the work they have done on themselves and as a couple.
[25:26] From an inside look what are some of the biggest differences?
John said a lot of his initial quitting drinking was about trying to prove a point, prove to himself and others that he didn’t have a problem with alcohol. Within a month it changed and began to leave alcohol behind for himself. He noticed improvements in almost all aspects of his life.
[28:51] Can you tell us about how fatherhood has been different?
John said when he was drinking, he would show up to parenthood not ready to parent. He was physically there but not there mentally or emotionally. He is now trying to make amends to his children now by being as present as he can be. Every connecting moment with his children is a cherished moment.
[32:13] Tell us about a day in your life right now, what tools are you using?
John said he’s a little bit of a lone wolf. He relies a lot on Odette as an emotional outlet. He does not struggle with cravings during the day, but at night when he’s “done for the day” is when he has to dig a little deeper. He focuses on spending time with his family. John drinking a lot of soda water and kombucha and NA beer.
[34:55] What’s your favorite NA beer brand?
He has an order coming from Athletic Brewing and is looking forward to trying it.
Gruvi IPA
Two Roots, Straight Dank IPA- it’s a very hop-forward IPA.
[36:06] How has it been reintroducing yourself into social situations?
John said that the first few months were hard. There was a lot of pretending. Once he had the mind shift and was leaving alcohol behind for himself, it was a lot easier. There is a confidence that came with his decision.
[39:16] Have you received any pushback?
John said that his true friends are supportive. There’s the occasional random person who isn’t in the know that questions him, but not from a negative place.
[41:53] What possibilities in life are you excited about?
John said he’s just really excited to keep on this path and see where it takes him. He’s looking forward to his kids starting school, the next steps in his career, the fun trips they have planned as a family, and with his wife. There’s a positive future ahead.
[43:59] Rapid Fire Round
- What is a memorable moment you’ve had so far?
Surf trip sober over Christmas 2019.
- What are some of your favorite resources?
Armchair Expert podcast (Dax Shepard)
- What would you say to Day 1, John?
It’s going to be a lot easier than you think it is. Trust the decision. Strap in and lean in. Trust your wife.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to others?
Just do it, hop in. Do it for 3 months and see what happens.
You may need to ditch the booze if…
You go on a camping trip with your wife and the last thing you remember is having a great time at dinner and then you wake up in a tent alone, with none of your family there.
Odette’s challenge this week:
What are you trying to hold on to right now? What do you think would happen if that changed? Are you not allowing yourself to enjoy it now that you have it out of fear that it will be gone? Everything that you have in your life right now is a gift if you choose to see it that way. So just think about that prompt.
Affiliate Link for Encourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why, and the How. REGISTRATION IS OPEN! The new course will start on 8/4/2020. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
- There will be the DTB course starting 11/3/20.
- You can find more information about our events
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – Every single thing that you are looking for is already inside of you- I love you guys”
