RE 282: Is It Working?

by Paul Churchill | Jul 13, 2020 | Podcast

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Michael took his last drink on May 13, 2019. With just over a year sober (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).

Odette opens today asking the question: Is this working? There are obvious moments where it is easy to recognize that life without alcohol is working. When people say you look refreshed, you wake up not hungover and you start sleeping well. But what about the not so obvious moments? The moments that are hard, the moments you miss drinking? Yes, those are the moment when growth and change and abundance are there and about to bloom. Trust, be patient, and stay the course.

[7:23] Odette introduces Michael.

Michael lives in Springfield, Missouri, and works in construction. He is married with 2 children. For fun, he works, plays video games, and spends as much time as possible with his family.

[8:24] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking?

Michael said he started drinking around the age of 14. He said it was something he was good at and within a year he was drinking a pint or more of liquor a day. He soon began drinking before school and after. In 2002 he joined the Marine Corps, which was his goal. In the military, he often couldn’t drink for stretches of time, so it became binge drinking episodes. But at the end of his 4 years in the Marine Corps, he realized he had a problem with drinking and asked for help. He was enrolled in a daily program through the military to learn about drinking.

After getting out of the military he worked construction, but then in 2008 re-enlisted in the Army. The 6 years he was in the Army, the drinking continued at a bottle a day, every day. He considered himself a very high bottom drinker because he was so high functioning within life.

[15:19] What was it that led you down the path to try going AF?

Michael said that he tried to stop multiple times over the years. He began to realize he wasn’t living his life to his best potential. He always tried to be the person setting the example for others, yet his inability to stop drinking was weighing on him. He needed to show that he could stop drinking for good. The idea that he couldn’t quit was his bottom.

[17:16] Walk us through what went through your mind on your day 1.

Michael said he woke up and said to himself “I need to quit, again.” He searched for podcasts that day and found Recovery Elevator. Podcasts allowed him to saturate his entire day with recovery. He downloaded the Sober Grid app and started reading that and the resources offered.

[21:13] How has your life without alcohol been different than what you originally thought?

Michael said he had a lot of fear about what he would do and who he would be not drinking. Once he quit, he was no longer avoiding emotions and in a fog. He was freed to just live his life. Michael has learned it’s ok to be sad or angry and that he will make it through.

[25:24] How has your family dynamic changed since you have been on this path?

Michael said that he’s happy and no longer hiding from his family. He’s a present and active member of his family and at a higher plateau of being a husband and a father. He’s always working on trying to be a better husband and father while at the same time learning to be a husband and a father for the first time since this is the first time through sober eyes.

[27:44] Walk us through a day in your life right now.

Michael said he wakes up, goes to work, and hangs out with his family. He prides himself on being an open person; he’s open about his sobriety, his PTSD, and his anxiety. He tries to lead by example and with being so open, he allows space for others to be open about their own struggles.

[30:22] What is your social life like now?

Michael said from the beginning he was honest about his not drinking with friends and co-workers. They were respectful and always offered not to drink around him, but he was always ok about around other people drinking. He said that he understood this was his choice and his alone. There were a few times he did walk away in the beginning, but now he’s comfortable around alcohol.

[31:55] What have you learned in this AF journey?

Michael said that he is really motivated and setting goals and accomplishing them. This past year has really reinforced this. He’s also rediscovering who he is as a person, not just an alcoholic.

One particular goal of Michael’s is to run a marathon.

[36:25] What possibilities are keeping you hopeful?

Michael said rediscovering daily life. He focuses on the little things in life and is finding joy in those things. He’s excited about mowing the lawn now!

[37:35] Do you still get cravings?

Michael said he doesn’t get cravings so much as he gets the idea of drinking still. Cravings are for the most part a non-thought.

[38:31] If you could talk to Day 1 Michael, what would you tell him?

Keep trying. Even if you don’t succeed today you can try again tomorrow.

[38:59] Rapid Fire Round

What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you?

Being with my family after my father in law passed and really connecting with them.

What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

I am able to stop drinking.

What are some of your favorite resources in sobriety?

Any recovery podcast, any app that helps you track your sobriety and music.

What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Just keep trying, we will figure this out. You will never succeed if you don’t keep trying.

You may need to ditch the booze if…

You’ve ever considered putting on a resume that you are a daily drinker but have never been late to work.

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why, and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Remember? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
You can find more information about our events

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com

“Recovery Elevator – keep going, trust the process and try not to throw up when the road gets bumpy, we can do this – I love you guys,”

RE 597: Moving On

by Kris Oyen | Jul 27, 2026 | Podcast

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Today we have Shane. He is 45 years old, lives in Northern California, and he took his last drink on September 12^th, 2013.

This episode is brought to you by:

It’s not too late to join us in Bozeman, MT. The retreat is August 12^th-16^th. We have cabin and camping spots still available.

[01:08] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares that he is having trouble moving on after his loss of Ben. There is still a pile of poop in his yard that he is not going to pick up. He reflects that over time; he knows it will eventually disappear as life moves on and so will he eventually.

Moving on from alcohol is hard too. Yes, there were fun times, great memories, but it turned and it’s no longer serving us. As a community, we are all moving on.

As Odette said in episode 282 – you can miss drinking even though you don’t want to drink anymore. Don’t sweep the pain of losing alcohol under a rug, it needs to be grieved as it is the loss of a major life companion. But…we are moving on. And you are invited to join us.

[04:17] Paul introduces Shane:

Shane is from Northern California, is married and they have two children. He works full time in podcasting and communications, and for fun he enjoys playing golf, chess and fitness.

Shane says he grew up in an alcoholic household, and his parents were very young when they had him. Growing up he had a lot of resentments and anger towards his parents which he feels led him down the path to use alcohol and other drugs to escape.

After a baseball injury, Shane started playing in bands with aspirations of making it in the music business. Along with this came a lot of partying, drugs and alcohol which ended up being a big part of his twenties. In the back of his mind he knew he didn’t want to live that way, but he ignored it.

Once they had their daughter, Shane began to realize that he was becoming everything that he never wanted to be. The last three years of his drinking progressed so quickly, Shane says, and drinking was such a normalized part of life.

The day of his last drink found Shane talking to his wife and letting her know that he needed help to quit drinking. He says the weight lifted off of his shoulders but then he instantly was concerned about the fact that there was no turning back.

With the help of his wife and their close friend who got sober, Shane went to inpatient rehab and says it saved his life. When he returned to work, he found himself commuting a lot and a friend introduced him to podcasts. Recognizing that there weren’t a lot of sobriety podcasts, Shane decided to start his own.

The point of creating the podcast for Shane was to give a space where people could openly share. Shane encourages anyone that may think they have an issue with alcohol to find someone they trust and just open up about it. He believes that conversation creates connection and addiction is the opposite of connection.

Shane shares that the biggest gift that sobriety has given him is presence and being conscious. It has given him the ability to grow into his authentic self.

Shane’s parting piece of guidance: Go for it. Jump in. Don’t wait. You’re not alone.

You can find Shane and all of the offerings he has on his website: That Sober Guy.

Recovery Elevator

We took the elevator down.

We got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

Café RE

RE Instagram

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

RE YouTube

The Canary in the Mine: What Addiction Is Telling Us

by Kerri MacFarlane | Jul 15, 2026 | Alcohol Free, Blog, Early Sobriety, Helpful Tips

The Canary in the Mine: What Addiction Is Really Telling Us

In many native cultures, when someone became sick, they weren’t seen as broken—they were seen as a signal. In the context of addiction and recovery, that signal might be what we call the canary in the mine.

A warning.

A canary in the mine.

Instead, rather than isolating that person, the community came together. They recognized that illness—whether physical, emotional, or spiritual—meant something was out of balance for everyone, not just the individual.

And the response wasn’t blame.

It was connection.

Music. Movement. Healing. Together.

Addiction as the Canary in the Mine

Fast forward to today, and we’re seeing more “sick canaries” than ever.

Addiction. Anxiety. Depression. Burnout.

Instead, we tend to treat these as personal failures. Something to fix quietly. Something to hide.

But what if, in reality, addiction isn’t the problem?

What if it’s the signal?

When someone struggles with alcohol, it often points to something deeper—not just within that person, but within the systems, environments, and pressures we all live in.

In that way, addiction becomes a mirror, reflecting a larger imbalance.

And the truth is, it affects all of us.

Why You Can’t Do This Alone

Here’s what you don’t hear when someone celebrates an alcohol-free milestone:

“I figured it out by myself. I locked myself away and powered through alone.”

That’s not how it works.

What you do hear is:

“I couldn’t have done it without…”

A friend. A parent. A group. A community. A stranger who showed up at the right time.

Because, in reality, recovery isn’t a solo mission.

It never has been.

In fact, it never will be.

Community Is the Cure

If addiction is the canary in the mine, then connection is the response.

Not isolation.

Not silence.

Not white-knuckling your way through it.

Real recovery happens when you let people in.

That might look like:

Talking to a friend about your drinking
Joining a recovery group
Working with a counselor
Becoming part of an alcohol-free community like Café RE

The form doesn’t matter as much as the principle:

You need people.

And just as importantly—people need you.

Let People Help You

This part is uncomfortable, but it matters.

When you don’t ask for help, you’re not just protecting yourself—you’re also blocking others from doing what they’re wired to do.

Humans are built for connection. Research continues to show that social connection plays a critical role in mental health and recovery, not just emotionally, but biologically. (See American Psychological Association on the importance of social connection.) Supporting each other isn’t just a kind gesture—it’s biological.

Helping someone in need releases chemicals that make us feel good, grounded, and connected.

So when you’re struggling and you let someone in, it’s not a burden.

It’s an opportunity.

The Turning Point in Recovery

If you’re stuck in the cycle of drinking and trying to quit, the shift usually starts with two simple—but not easy—steps:

1. Ask for help

2. Be willing to receive it

Both will likely push you outside your comfort zone.

That’s the point.

Because growth doesn’t happen where things feel safe and familiar.

It happens when something cracks open.

Maybe Addiction Has a Purpose

This might be hard to hear, but it’s worth considering:

What if addiction serves a purpose?

Not in a romanticized way—but as a force that pushes you toward awareness.

Toward change.

Toward connection.

Because before anything shifts, you have to see it clearly.

This idea isn’t new—we explored it more deeply in Episode 337: The Canary in the Mine, where the conversation centers on what addiction might actually be trying to show us.

And once you do, something starts to open.

The Canary Can Heal

If you’re reading this and thinking about quitting drinking—or wondering if you should—you might be the canary.

That doesn’t mean you’re broken.

It means you’re aware.

And awareness is where everything begins.

Healing doesn’t come from finding the perfect method or following a single path.

There are countless ways to recover.

But they all share one thing in common:

Connection.

You don’t have to do this alone.

And you were never meant to.

Author: Paul Churchill, founder of Recovery Elevator.

Inner Conflict and Sobriety: Why Recovery Starts Within

by Kerri MacFarlane | Apr 15, 2026 | Blog, Early Sobriety, Helpful Tips

Inner Conflict: Why the Hardest Work in Sobriety Happens Within

Today we’re talking about inner conflict and sobriety.

Most people don’t like conflict, but conflict itself isn’t a bad thing. In fact, the inner conflict many people experience around alcohol is often the very thing that leads them toward sobriety, self-awareness, and lasting recovery.

Conflict exists on two levels: the micro level and the macro level.

The micro level is the inner conflict we experience within ourselves. For many people in recovery, it can sound like this:

Do I quit drinking… or do I not?

The macro level is the conflict we see in groups, cultures, and even between nations.

Both forms of conflict matter. And more importantly, both are connected.

Inner Conflict Is Part of the Human Experience

It is impossible to live a human life without conflict.

In fact, attempts to avoid it often create even more of it.

Conflict shows up everywhere—in relationships, at work, in technology that refuses to cooperate, and sometimes even with printers, websites, or online bill-pay platforms.

Conflict is part of being human.

At any given moment we’re reconciling opposing forces within ourselves. The yin and the yang. The light and the dark. The part of us that wants growth and the part that wants comfort.

Some days the darker side wins and the light takes a seat.

Other days the light breaks through.

Most people tiptoe around this inner conflict for as long as possible. Some individuals go their entire lives without addressing it.

They don’t have to.

But for others, the internal tension becomes impossible to ignore.

Eventually, it demands attention.

And this is often where addiction enters the story.

Why Inner Conflict Often Leads to Addiction and Sobriety

Most people who grapple with addiction never fully address the deeper inner conflict beneath it.

But those who do choose to face it are doing something incredibly courageous.

There are podcasts about true crime, travel, and home remodeling. Yet many people choose to spend their time listening to conversations about recovery, healing, and personal growth.

That’s a big commitment.

Addiction often develops when there is intense inner conflict—when parts of our personalities are out of balance or when pain inside us demands attention.

And this inner imbalance is rarely isolated.

Individual unrest is often connected to the larger imbalance within society itself.

Strangely enough, addiction can become the catalyst that forces us to look inward.

And when someone chooses recovery, that inner work becomes unavoidable.

Facing Inner Conflict in Addiction Recovery

Inner work is not easy.

Sometimes it’s painful. It comes with tears, frustration, and difficult moments where the ego takes a hit.

Recovery often requires looking honestly at past conflicts—at people, places, experiences, and beliefs that have shaped our reactions and behaviors.

It involves asking uncomfortable questions:

What happened?
What role did I play?
What can I learn from this?

For many people in recovery, there comes a moment when the choice becomes clear.

Continue down the same path—or choose life.

Choosing recovery means choosing the work.

It means facing those internal conflicts head-on and being willing to examine them honestly.

Many people in sobriety share that moment in common.

They chose life.

How Sobriety Helps Resolve Inner Conflict

So what does recovery actually look like?

At its core, recovery involves setting the ego aside and reconnecting with who we truly are.

It means rediscovering an authentic self that may have been buried beneath years of coping mechanisms, fear, or pain.

And perhaps most importantly, it means learning to accept and love all parts of ourselves.

The light and the shadow.

The strengths and the imperfections.

When that process begins, something remarkable happens.

Gradually, the way we relate to the outside world begins to shift as well.

People become easier to understand.

Situations become less triggering.

Even the frustrating things—like broken printers—start to feel a little less overwhelming.

“What the Hell Is Going On Right Now?”

A phrase that many people have been asking lately is:

“What the hell is going on right now?”

It’s a fair question.

But the answer may be simpler than it seems.

For many people, turning inward and examining their own blind spots feels too painful.

It’s much easier to project frustration outward than to confront the discomfort inside.

Instead of examining their own role in conflict, people often direct that unrest toward others.

That’s when blame becomes easier than reflection.

When Inner Conflict Becomes Global Conflict

There’s a simple truth that appears again and again throughout history:

People who struggle to love themselves often struggle to love others.

When individuals carry deep internal resentment or shame, it can easily manifest as anger toward other people or groups.

This dynamic doesn’t just occur at the personal level.

When entire groups or nations refuse to address internal conflict, that unrest can be projected outward onto others.

History has shown how dangerous this pattern can become.

Research in psychology continues to show that self-awareness is one of the most important factors in personal growth and long-term recovery.

Recovery is widely recognized as a process that involves personal growth, support, and ongoing self-reflection.

Why Facing Inner Conflict Leads to Lasting Sobriety

Given this, how do we respond to the chaos and tension that often seems to dominate the world?

The answer may be the same one found in recovery.

We start by doing the inner work.

We face the conflict within ourselves.

We learn from it.

And we allow that process to shape how we move through the world.

Many of the largest challenges facing humanity today—from environmental concerns to technological risks—are ultimately rooted in human decision-making.

In other words, they stem from the human ego.

However, meaningful change doesn’t always start with large systems or institutions.

It often begins with individuals.

Because of this, when people commit to self-awareness, healing, and growth, it changes how they show up in the world.

As a result, when enough individuals do that work, the collective direction of humanity can begin to shift.

In that sense, inner work may be one of the most powerful contributions anyone can make.

Sometimes the very things that once felt like obstacles—addiction, conflict, pain—become the catalyst for that change.

And that’s where recovery begins.

Author: Paul Churchill, founder of Recovery Elevator.

Spiritual Healing in Year One Alcohol-Free

by Kerri MacFarlane | Oct 15, 2025 | Alcohol Free, Blog, Helpful Tips, The first Year

Spiritual healing after quitting alcohol can be subtle, surprising, and deeply meaningful. It’s also the focus of Part 3 in our three-month series on the healing that takes place in your first year alcohol-free.

In Part 1 we explored physical healing, and in Part 2 we covered mental healing. Now, we’re shifting to something less tangible but equally powerful—your connection to self, others, and the world around you.

Let’s dig in.

🌱 Spiritual Healing After Quitting Alcohol: What May Happen in Week One

For many, nothing profound happens immediately. That’s normal.
But you might have had a moment before your last drink when time seemed to pause—a flicker of presence that let you really see where alcohol was taking you.
That moment of clarity, however fleeting, may have been the start.

🍃 First Month of Spiritual Healing After Quitting Alcohol

Your intuition might quietly peek out and ask, “Is it safe to return yet?”
You may feel a pull toward nature—a walk in the woods, leaning on a tree, or just sitting still under the sky.
You might experience a few moments of pure gratitude—not for things, but for being.
Even something simple, like watching a bird or a breeze in the trees, might hold your attention longer than usual.

🌌 Spiritual Growth and Awareness in Months 1–6 Alcohol-Free

Synchronicities start happening—those “too weird to be coincidence” moments.
You begin to feel the emotions of others more deeply, maybe even animals or the earth itself.
You start listening to your intuition and trusting it.
Your connection to something greater than yourself—something that doesn’t come in a bottle—starts to take root.
Authentic wisdom bubbles up. Sometimes you surprise yourself with what you say (and yes, you sound a bit like a fortune cookie).
You begin to sense the universe has a sense of humor—and you’re in on the joke.

✨ Spiritual Healing in Year One of Sobriety: A New Connection to Life

You start to notice the spaces between life’s events, not just the events themselves.
You realize this journey isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about unbecoming what was never really you.
Books like The Power of Now, The Dao, or The Artist’s Way might find their way into your life—often “accidentally.”
You may pause before killing a spider, recognizing you’re both part of something shared.
Decisions shift—you’re guided more by intuition than logic.
Material things matter less. Moments matter more.
You find yourself standing in awe of a canyon, a sunset, or a mountain—and feeling it all in a way you never used to.
You begin seeking wisdom from ancestors, indigenous cultures, spiritual texts—things you once dismissed.
You may start meditating or exploring your inner self.
You discover flow states—where time disappears, and presence takes over.

🌊 Long-Term Spiritual Healing and Transformation in Sobriety

You begin helping others heal, not by fixing, but by simply walking alongside them.
You value silence and listening as much as speaking.
Gratitude becomes your default mode—less about what’s missing, more about what already is.
Creativity returns: music, poetry, painting, dancing—even spontaneous singing while cooking. (The Artist’s Way is a great guide here.)
The dream world and waking world start to dance—you dream of an owl, then see one the next day.
Your inner child reawakens—you feel playful, curious, light again.
You feel less like a wave, more like the ocean. Life moves around you, but it no longer knocks you down.
You stop labeling life events as “good” or “bad”—they just are, and somehow, they all fit.
You begin to trust that everything is unfolding exactly as it should.
And eventually, you realize:

What you’ve been searching for all along has been inside you the whole time.

🌟 The Healing Never Stops

So here we are—three parts, three layers of healing: physical, mental, and spiritual. This list? It’s just the beginning.

Sobriety doesn’t just take something away—it gives you back a connection you didn’t know you were missing. The healing deepens, the awareness expands, and the sense of peace grows.

Whether you’re a week in or years down the road—keep going. You’re not becoming someone new. You’re just remembering who you were all along.

📖 Missed a part? Catch up here:
👉 Part 1: Physical Healing After Quitting Alcohol
👉 Part 2: Mental Healing After Quitting Alcohol

#SpiritualHealingAfterQuittingAlcohol #AlcoholFreeLiving #SobrietyJourney #YearOneAF #EmotionalRecovery #SpiritualGrowth #SoberCurious #HealingInSobriety #RecoveryElevator #ThisIsAF #ConnectionIsTheOppositeOfAddiction

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